Quote from: help.confused88 on June 22, 2016, 12:35:07 PM
Hey there... so this is what I'm going through. Still trying to find out if I'm want to transition or not and trying to find answers to the way I feel. Many here feel the same and have helped me greatly (at the same time it sucks of course since I'm finding out things at 28 years of age that I did not think I'd have to go through)...
Anyways, as of now at least.. I'm a male and I've liked women my whole life. However, I've had many doubts about being gay or it could be something called homosexual OCD, never acted on it though...
However, since I turned 18 or so I started to become obsessed with my body/face... like I'd go to the mirror and see myself, and with my mind tried to shift my facial features around (basically imagine my face in another way until I got this weird but comfortable feeling in my throat - I guess a relieve from anxiety)... Fast forward, when I was 21 I realized I started doing the same with pictures of my ex girlfriend.. but it would not be so intense. Now since I started considering that I might be trans... It happens all the time, but now I feel a little different. I don't know anymore if I'm "shifting" female faces around to imagine them the way I want it, or if in actuality, I see a possible reflection of myself in those pictures - like the what could be - which leads me to feel that comfort when i "shift" their facial features (same as when I did it with me). This is kind of a concern for me because then I don't know what I like anymore. I don't seem to do this with male faces, so not sure what it means.
I know many in here who figured this out later in later in life talked about how they used to think they'd look at women because they liked them... but later on realized that all they wanted is to be them and that's what they liked about it.
I'd appreciate some input about this if someone relates !
Thanks !
Hi , I'll chime in since I can relate to allot of what your saying.
I too have always adored woman . Still do .
I wondered the same thing earlier in my life , am I just wanting to emulate the graceful slinkiness , the curves , the soft voices , the smell , all of that. I came to the conclusion yes I do , but for me , because I am in the wrong body . But I had to seriously look at that a long time first .
When what you look into the mirror repulses you because it doesn't fit the inner whatsoever , there is definitely something out of sync .
When I look at guys , they pretty much repulse me as a species , especially sexually , gross . I'm not gay , I'm lesbian .
Now I'm doing for real what your doing in the mirror , but I'm actually morphing in front of my eyes and its staying with HRT ! Very cool , and it has helped my overall OK about things .
I took a very very very long time pondering those questions your asking yourself about what's motivating your thoughts here . It came to me without me trying to have a solid answer I could stomach ? Just one day I felt different and absolutely positive what I am and what I want , and its been forward with fervor ever since thank GODDESS :-)
Thats about all I got for input .
