I hear a lot of trans girls on YouTube going on about how "necessary" it is that you just embrace who you are. Whatever that's supposed to mean............. 

For me, I'm not proud of being trans nor am i ashamed of it. I hate that i even had to transition and that i missed out on the first 20+ years of my life. I guess i have to accept it because it's not like i have much of a choice. I had this notion that being trans meant i could never truly be happy and live a normal life. It has always been a bother to me and probably always will after my transition is complete.

I was to live a life as stealth as possible, and not tell people i'm trans unless it's a guy i'm dating or a friend i'm getting to know.

for me being trans is what I am and have been all my life. Look at life the way you need to , it's your life.

For years I have been don't ask, don't tell. You are free to use or not use whatever label you are comfortable with and shouldn't be forced to use the trans label if you don't wish to. In my therapy group this was discussed and the best possible outcome was for somebody after treatment to fade back into society never to be heard from again.

I think many of the people on youtube may still be in transition or shortly after and haven't found their new life yet. If you look at me, I may appear to be pretty open on the site but in my day to day life besides family, only two other people have been told. The rest may suspect but unless the subject comes up they will continue to be in the dark.

It's better to embrace it, than to resent it; we didn't choose to be trans, but we can make the choice to be happy.

It's a common suggestion to "embrace" it because the process of accepting your position in life can do great things to improve your mental health (if that's a problem). Having a community that understands and supports you can also be helpful for a lot of people, but it is by no means necessary. Everyone experiences transition in different ways and how you want to live your life is entirely up to you. Some trans people may take it as an attack against them if you "reject" your trans identity, but don't listen to them. The way I see it is that you may be trans in a technical sense (you were assigned a sex which changed over time), but that is not what makes you trans. Being trans is about your identity and how you feel comfortable labeling yourself (and it's perfectly okay not to choose any labels at all).

Good luck finding yourself, and always remember that your chosen identity is as valid as you say it is!

The only ugly thing is the truth: They won't accept me as a woman that still looks like a guy on the outside. But splurge 30K on it, then everyone suddenly wants a piece of me. It proves that looks matters most, no matter how it's twisted or turned, it's horrific.

Maybe I should embrace being trans, because it transcends all this kitsch superficiality and the pornography of the hot, gorgeous and beautiful which are likened to gods. So that I can feel like a woman who has achieved and earned womanhood through hard work, who is not being destroyed by staring herself down through illusions of idealized prototypes of what a female should be like. When we compare ourselves to others, we destroy ourselves. Yet, everywhere there is this attack on the individual, this force to comply to the norm. We're told indirectly that we don't fit in, that we're not good enough, like any other female in this world who is conspired against. We even believe it ourselves sometimes. So maybe I should embrace being a female, with a trans history. I guess that is what I'm doing.

Much Love.

For me it's a practical thing.

The original founding fathers were fond of saying "if we don't hang together we will most assuredly hang separately."

It's like that for us. A lot of the world hates us, and if we're to stand a chance we need to pool our collective voice to be heard.

I keep getting told that I should just accept that I am trans. It has taken me a very long time, but I do now accept that I am trans. Do I embrace it? NO WAY!! It is a damn curse. It has ruined my life. I would much prefer to have never been born than to have this curse. So I do not know how it is possible to embrace something so horrible. The daily torture of having your brain tell you you should be something else.

we need to show our strength rather than hide as if we don't exist. Just my opinion no more no less. The most safest I feel is when I'm in Boys Town Chicago where no one gives a crap what you are.

Thank you, ladies for you very insightful responses.

It's just that... i never enjoyed being transgender and always believed that being trans meant i could never be fully happy. I just belong with the female race and am dismayed that i wasn't born as such. One of my biggest issues with being trans it that there are always going to be anti-trans people who'll refuse to accept me as a woman... no matter how attractive i am to men, whether i have a penis or a vagina, as long as i was born a boy, as long as i have xy chromosomes, and can't have periods or conceive, there's a transphobic person out there who won't accept me as a woman.

I hate going out and then have to worry about if or not a man is clocking me if he's checking me out... and if or not he'll accept me if he's interested in me and then i tell him i'm a transwoman.

I would rather i could've just been born a full-fledged female and not be trans at all. But i will pick being a male-to-female transgender and transition than to be a cis guy any day of the week.

I worked for a job for 20 years and loved my job because it was physical and helped me stay strong and healthy and I just liked it. I realized after 20 years that very few of my co workers appreciated the fact that I was a good worker because it made them look bad because I was old and they were young  it took me awhile to figure it out why I was treated by my co workers the way I was and it was sad that merely the facr the I was much older than them , but a good worker who loved to work bothered them so much. I'm just saying this, people will find all sorts of reasons not to accept you if you are different. It's not just  being trans and not fitting the perfect so called cis mode, it's so many other things that are irrational that pits one against the other.

I see "Embracing" being trans as the opposite of denial or burying that aspect of you.

Like you, I am not proud of the undeniable fact that I am trans. I try to no longer allow myself to feel ashamed of who I am. Though it does sneak in now and then.

To me, not being ashamed is not mutually exclusive with feeling pride about being trans. We are who we are. As a creature of God there is nothing to be ashamed of, nor do I have a reason to feel better then someone else, aka pride.

Perhaps a better wording is "Taking Ownership".

   Since I got the real me back, others have had much more difficulty embracing me being trans than I have myself, being trans is ok for me, it's fun but not huge, I always felt that way anyway and I've mostly only changed my appearance after all but being capable to withstand all the sh_t and dirt that inhuman beings have and still throw at me for having comitted no crime and not falling into mental despair, that, I am proud of.

   Of course I may get very very sad when bad things happen and I may curse the day I was born but it never lasts for very long and as soon as I get home, close and lock the door and put my head on my lover teddy bear, maybe shed a tear or two, it doesn't take very long and I'm back to feeling wonderful and loving the woman I met a while ago, me.

Embrace it, could mean, what ever it means for them. By the sounds of things "embracing it" is important to them.

Did I embrace it? I think so, but what is it? How I felt? No I rejected that. Why I felt, how I felt? Definately.

What I embraced was I felt like I couldn't go on with life without taking steps towards somthing that not doing was causing me to feel like that.

In all honesty I don't feel anywhere close to how I used to feel. And this was with just a name change and a new wardrobe. I only started moans 3 weeks ago. I've been living as me for three years now.

I turn 29 this July, I don't realy think much about my life before comming out. I don't know why, but I don't. But when I do, I keep forgetting I wasn't dressing as me then. I don't miss those years, I've only been living for three.

Tans though? Do they mean embrace that? I couldn't, trans is not what I am. I'm me, all I've ever been. That I embrace.

Quote from: stephaniec on June 15, 2016, 09:45:40 AM
I worked for a job for 20 years and loved my job because it was physical and helped me stay strong and healthy and I just liked it. I realized after 20 years that very few of my co workers appreciated the fact that I was a good worker because it made them look bad because I was old and they were young  it took me awhile to figure it out why I was treated by my co workers the way I was and it was sad that merely the facr the I was much older than them , but a good worker who loved to work bothered them so much. I'm just saying this, people will find all sorts of reasons not to accept you if you are different. It's not just  being trans and not fitting the perfect so called cis mode, it's so many other things that are irrational that pits one against the other.

Ah, you saw that too, I'm not alone. To avoid critics and guilt, my dad is now at his third reason I think, some of my old friends too, some only found two but as soon as one becomes debunked, or a lie is revealed, whatever, they will find another one fast but it will never be because you are trans or simply different, they could be accused of ->-bleeped-<-ry. Anyway, don't try to understand or deal with this using rationality, won't work. Sorry, I feel very strange tonight, it's the humans again... See ya, thanks Stephanie. XX

I hate it.  I hate being a man even more.

You don't have to love being trans. Or even to care about it either way.

But you do need to acknowledge it to get medical treatments, if you wish to go that way.

And your life will be a lot easier if you cast away any guilt or self-hatred for being trans. People are literally just born this way. There is no point nor reward in feeling guilt for things beyond your control. So that might be one thing they mean by embracing it - not hating or fighting it. But that doesn't mean you have to tell everyone, attend pride rallies, etc. Do what you want.

heh in my eyes the only time i would call myself trans is in the middle of a transition but after a year i would drop the that label and just say I'm a girl.

This is an interesting topic, and has some very interesting replies.
Do I, a 13 years post-op Female, 'embrace' being trans?
No of course not!
It's definitely a curse more than it is a blessing.

I tried for many years to not embrace it, after all, life would be much easier and simpler if I wasn't 'trans'.
I was featured in a documentary about transexualism way back in about 2001, and I basically said as such while on camera.
And whether that's as a man or a woman makes no difference, if you're not trans, your life would be easier, and if I could have been born not trans, that would have been infinitely preferable.

But alas, I could not avoid or ignore it, so I had to deal with it as best I could, whether this is defined as 'embracing' it is a matter of conjecture.

What is a blessing to me is that I pass, I have a accepting and supportive family, a good job, and most of all, a wonderful supportive man in my life, who has a young son from a previous marriage. So I can be like a wife and mother and derive comfort from that. Those are my blessings, and I embrace my life to the extent that I can have those things.

I have thought about this for decades now and I always come back to the fact that I am...indeed, transgender.  I am transsexual, male to female to be exact.  When I was in my 20's, I wanted to get my SRS completed and move on down the road in full expression of my new self.

Time passed and I met more and more travelers on this road.  As those relationships grew, I found that I was able to respect who I am and eventually wholly accept being trans.  I found that as I matured in my life, I became supportive of sisters younger in their effort than I and discovered that hiding my nature was not possible in that role.  In order to help, I could not be hiding within myself.

Each of us has choices and this is one that each of us makes.  There is no right or wrong, just our own choice that is appropriate for the way we are as individuals.  There is no need to be coerced in to being anyway other than the way you want to be.  There are plenty of us that transition and stay visible for who we are and others that choose to simply be with little thought as to how they arrived.  Be yourself!