I'm a 34 year old mtf just now starting to accept myself for who I am. I've had these feelings almost as long as I can remember I tried for many years to make them go away but they always come back stronger. I have gotten to the point where no matter what I do this is all that's on my mind. I am going to start looking for a therapist so I can talk to someone about this. Thanks for reading any advice would be helpful. It feels good to finally tell someone

Hi, Gabby, and welcome.

Your story is familiar: having the feelings all my life, wanting them to go away, realizing that they weren't going to go away.  You have the advantage of being much younger than I was when I realized that I needed to do something about them.  I am 61 years old. 

Finding a therapist is a really good idea.  I am just getting that process started myself.  I am out to my wife and a few close friends, and, yes, it does feel goot to tell someone.

It gets better from here.

A therapist is a great first step, I think one piece of advise I wish someone had told me when I first really wanted to do something about my dysphoria is that there is absolutely no need or benefit to rushing to a decision. Just getting to a place where you are comfortable with your future is going is the most important thing, then dealing with working out how to get there is a cinch (think I am the only person to use that word this decade).

Hold strong, the only way is up!
Lily

Hi and welcome, you've come to the right place for support and advice! I'm ftm but can still completely identify with your feelings, as Lily said it only gets better from here. Therapy is a good start and hopefully will help you get more comfortable with how you feel and where you're going.

Good luck! 😘