Hello.
New member.  I am 56. Married. Lifelong secret hidden afraid crossdresser who now realizes that I have always identified as female and have been suppressing, fighting this and depressed.  After second serious suicide attempt I began counseling and admitted to my therapist and my new wife about my dressing and my gender identity confusion.

Therapist is supportive of my 'break through' but I feel a bit over his head. In that he hasn't brought it up in too weeks.

Wife was angry, then just ignoring it and saying for me to not do anything yet (I came out 4 weeks ago) Tonight we are going to our first ever couple counseling with a tran/CD issue aware therapist I found through an LGBT center.  Not sure how this is going to go.  I am verrrry nervous but am so excited that there is some sort of path evolving.

So here is something unique that I need to sort out and I have not seen anybody else mention.  I have been injecting Testosterone for 3 years.  Current doctor just said 'oh, yeah male menopause OK I'll prescribe that for you.

Now I realize that I have been over compensating or something and while I do love the rush and libido I get from the T... and my wife enjoys the high sex drive... I think the T has increased my self-loathing ... It is too early to say but I am going to find a real endro doctor and figure out how to try to go more with an estrogen HRT without losing my ability to satisfy my wife.   I don't know if I can please everybody but I do know that I have to take care of myself.

Anybody else deal with the coming out transgender while still getting doses of testosterone?  Did this make the mtf transitioning more difficult?

I look forward to any advice about my wife/therapy as well as the hormone issue.

J

Welcome.

Sorry to hear that your wife is less than understanding.

I am no expert on HRT - I am out to my wife, but still pre-everything - but I think you would need to stop T before transitioning.  I don't think any responsible endo is going to prescribe E while you are on T.

Yes. Thank you.  Sorry if I wasn't clear.  I'm definitely going off T first. I'm curious how many others were like me and started trying to be 'normal' and responding to adverts for T without realizing that maybe it was Estrogen that would have maybe been better prescribed. 

Welcome to Susan's Place. HRT normally consist of a T blocker to shut down T production and estrogen. When I transitioned, T blockers hadn't been introduced into treatment so it was just estrogen. I don't think a doctor will elevate your T levels to normal male levels but if they drop to low, they will supplement the levels with a very low dose. Most of the time we like the feeling that getting the T out of our system provides. What what you are describing isn't normal treatment. You will have to be very clear as to what you want so the doctor will know what the test results should look like for you. I would guess your treatment would consist of estrogen without blockers or T.

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Hi,

I just want to say welcome!  and address part of your question.....

I still have the male parts but no testicles. I have female normal estrogen and testosterone levels.  Penatrative sex with my wife isn't an issue.  Orgasms are different, sometimes better, sometimes the same.

Hugs

Jen

Thank you all so much. What a great site and community. So glad I am here.

You should really see an endocrinologist ASAP, even if you do not have a hormone letter from your therapist.  I have no experience with injecting T or using it any other way, but I do know that messing around with hormones is a very dangerous business, and you do not want to be adjusting your own hormone levels without blood tests and medical advice.

If I were you I would explain my situation to the new therapist and ask for an early referral to an endocrinologist just to deal with adjusting your testosterone levels for your own health and safety.