I often read how upset both men and women get about 'not passing'. The women seem to have more issues than the guys, possibly because T has such masculinising effects on the guys and E does little for the women's faces.

I was in a ward on Friday with 3 other women. A short stay ward. My voice is destroyed with my vocal cords frozen so I sound like Lee Marvin with laryngitis.

Did I pass? I have no idea but by the time the evening came we where all talking about all sorts, looking after each other when someone needed the loo.

During the night we whispered when someone was scared and needed a bit of support.
We called the nurse when one of us had a temperature spike.

Morning came, and we were firm friends, helping each other with breakfast, showers, exchanging FB pages.

Did I pass? Did I care?

Or was I just a woman living in an environment with other women alone and emotionally vulnerable, dressed in our nighties. There was no make up, clothing, possessions.

We were just women relating to each other when we were all in distress.

It was funny when I got home I realised I didn't think any of them were trans. I don't think they did either.

And that was the first time I thought about it.

Cindy

You are so strong and find a silver lining in a storm cloud.

I am sending good thoughts you way.

This is a really inspiring post. Gave me a boost.
Thanks Cindy

To my friends, there is no passing/failing...I simply am and they love me for that.  In a public setting, I get enough 'ma'am' to keep me happy, but certainly do not live for it.

We are who we are and it is certainly not about looks at all.  We choose authenticity and through that, the world sees us for who we really are.

Cindy, your strength is a testament to your nature and it is encouraging to so many of us out here.  Peace and love to you, Sister!

That's a nice experience! 

I often asked this myself as well... even if they "knew", and said nothing, it obviously wasn't a problem. The problem is the seriousness of it... how serious I took myself. Sometimes it's best to light up and crack a couple of jokes. Humor is disarming, and laughter is good.

Last week after group, I was feeling pretty good about myself and I rolled through McDonald's for dinner, wearing a scoopneck top over a bralette, skinny jeans, Michael Kors sunglasses, no makeup other than beard cover, and my hair is currently 4-5 inches long.  One of my many Steve Madden purses sat on the passenger seat next to me.  I've been on hormones for just under a month, and in no way do I pass.  I spoke in the highest voice I could muster without falsetto or cracking, which puts me in gender neutral territory.  The two young girls at the windows were nothing but polite and smiling.  I am sure I did not pass, but I knew that I was welcome.

I lurch all over the map with how I feel about "passing," but I think the one thing that is really most important for me is to feel that people are accepting me in a way that allows me to feel like I (that is, like the real "me") am somehow "normal."  Like I'm just another way to be a normal woman.

I'm still working on accepting myself as "just another way to be a normal woman," though.  I've got a long way to go.

(I'd also like to be able to look in the mirror and not hate what I see, but I suspect that isn't really about passing.)

That sounds very positive Cindy!

I admire your optimism and courage in these circumstances. Wow.

Jennifer xx