Hi everyone,

I read on a lot of websites that some people choose not to transition and some do. As someone still at the start of going through everything, I'd like to know, what convinced you to transition?

Worsening gender dysphoria in my 40's and miserableness factor of 8 going on 9.

Most days I still am not convinced I will do a full transition. Need to vs Want to. Plenty of priorities in this late and well entrenched life of mine. For now HRT, my TG support group, therapy, and plain working on healing the deep wounds from 40+ years of not really taking on the trans-beast, help me to maintain and balance my needs.

As with Sonadora a worsening of GD from my Early Teen Years into my early 20's is what's got me. I was always trying to attempt suicide whenever I had a chance. When people actually attempt it they usually don't tell anyone. I won't lie half of those attempts were by accident, but when they failed or I chickened out I resorted to cutting myself. Not to end my life, but by cutting myself I found the release of endorphins I really needed to get by shoveling my feet on wards. The road I've gone down is most definitely not for the kindhearted you gotta be strong both in mind, body, soul, + will to live on. Those were partly of the main contributing factors, but not fitting in and constant need for suicidal dependencies, anxiety, depression, malice, + malcontent behaviors weren't something I wanted to have been known for on my deathbed.

I don't want to sound overly dramatic, but when I accepted the overwhelming undeniable truth of my true nature, I knew that I needed to transition, and I found a way.

I found myself not caring about my own body or future, not being able to imagine my own future, and putting off doing things that i wanted because i didn't want to do them/ didn't care about doing them as a girl

i still struggle to imagine the more distant future (like beyond 2 years or so) but i am more motivated to do things for the immediate future

For most transgender people I think that gender dysphoria is progressive and lifelong unless treated.  Like too many here, I was in denial for a long time.  When I could no longer cope and had descended to the point of not caring about living any longer I faced the truth and started counseling.  Initially I just wanted to cope better and had no intention of transitioning as I had convinced myself that I couldn't possibly do so without losing everything including my self respect.

What I learned through therapy was, the fact that I am a transgender person, does not harm me in any way.  What had harmed me was the denial, horrible shame, fear, fake images and internalized transphobia of a lifetime.  Understanding that also pointed to the cure and alternatives: Acceptance, facing and telling the truth, courage and transitioning.

Until that time I was honestly unaware of how much pain, and how much work I was investing in trying to "man up" every damn day.  It was never worth it and we don't get that time back.

There is never going to be a perfect time to transition but the world is better for us now than at any time in my long life.
What are we waiting for?

I was becoming more and more miserable as man and becoming a ->-bleeped-<-ty person. Had to come clean to myself.

I'm trying to get a therapy appointment scheduled, so am right at the beginning part of transition I guess.

For me, I can't avoid it anymore. If I have to live the rest of my life in a feminine body, I might as well just go back to starving because at least I could still leave the house then. I need to at least start transitioning, or there isn't a point in trying to do anything. Each time I try to move forward, the anxiety/depression/dysphoria eventually catches up and I end up housebound again. This process has repeated itself three times over the last 10 years, and it isn't going away. I have other stuff to work on as well as transitioning, but a lot of stuff is related to the dysphoria.

Quote from: PBP on July 10, 2016, 05:51:15 AM
Hi everyone,

I read on a lot of websites that some people choose not to transition and some do. As someone still at the start of going through everything, I'd like to know, what convinced you to transition?

Age and coming to terms with the truth and wanting to be true to myself.

For me it has been something that started a long long time ago, what started as crossdressing at a young age I began to realize more and more as I grew older that I had more behaviors and traits of a woman than as a male. At close to 40 I finally realized that I would be alot happier as a woman.

When my ex was just my best friend, he finally decided to tell me what he thought about me. It took a while to let it sink in, while I compared it to past experiences and feelings. It was all undeniably true that I had always been more feminine in my looks and mannerisms, as compared to what few masculine traits I possessed.
Realizing all that, it was obvious I was living in the wrong gender. Heck ... when I found a doctor for hormones, it was " no questions asked", as he thought I had already been on them.

Hard to tell was oncomfortabel with how i was went to a docter with it, I was refferd to a department in a hospitol that deals with transgender people had talks and stuff. But i dont really remember a moment where i said now i am going to do it.

For me it was time.

Starting into my 40's my GD got to a point of making me go beyond crazy.

Sheer utter desperation, in the end I was simply unable to function at all. I could not longer continue along my path of dysphoria denial. I had to do something, and the choice was to at least try moving along the path towards acceptance of my dysphoria, or self-destruction of every aspect of my life and ultimately death by suicide.
Things aren't all roses now, but they are somewhat better.

Deep, suicidal depression.  My 'choices' amount to being dead, becoming a heavily medicated zombie, or some form of transition.  Oh, sure, there are many short term alternatives, but those three choices are the only end points I could resolve.

'I want more life..."
- Roy Batty

So, I'm in therapy, on HRT, and doing electrolysis.  And, I'm happy for the first time in decades.  Most days the sad old man is gone, and it's just me, smiling.

It beats the other alternatives.

meh nothing made me, my dysphoria was never really that bad. I just wanted to start as soon as possible.

For me, it was just getting worse. My dysphoria was getting worse, my depression was getting worse, self-esteem (with my body) getting worse. Everything. Even my anxiety was actually starting to cause problems, where previously it was manageable.

I finally got sick of my family telling me whats best for me, in terms of what my sexuality and gender should be, and decided to transition and here I am. Not too far but farther than I was in high school and I really wish I started then. I'm way more confident now, my temper is leveling, and I'm actually genuinely happier. I have happy days now, rather than moments. I'd be way better when I get my breasts removed and stuff but so far I know I made the right decision.

Depression steadily worsening until hitting a breaking point. Not wanting to be around friends or family because it all felt wrong. Passive suicide thoughts turned into active ones. That was my do it now or don't survive the year moment, so I did it. No more depression.