Ex: being out in public and hearing someone say your birthname and snapping your head to their direction, even if they weren't calling for you.

For people who no longer do react: 

When you started going by another name, how long did it take for your mind to stop reacting to it?

After some study (i have a child with mental issues). Ones birth name is  hardwired from birth. This cant be undone, ever. Kind of the reason those with amnesia can react (by whipping their head in the direction) even if they dont know their name. It takes time and self training not to respond to your birth name. You will be able to hear it being spoken even in a crowded room.

It will take time to reach the stage you dont react to your birth name. But study shows u will always hear it when its spoken (even if the address another person with the same birth name).

For me it hurts each time its used, but then i am not out yet. Nor have i started hrt, in counselling tho.

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Sort off, as Veronica said I'm training myself not too do it. I was in a supermarket 2 or so months ago and looked up from the self checkout when I heard my old name being called out, but realised it was just someone talking to their child. I guess there's always that non sensical fear that I'll be 'outed'. I'm getting better at becoming relaxed in public now that I pass pretty much.

It took me about six months to stop reacting to it. Like VeronicaMJ said, there's a bit of training that goes into not reacting. I always still hear when it's said, but there's no turning or looking around anymore when I hear it.

One advantage of having an uncommon birth name is you rarely hear it. I know when my mom calls me by it, it still hits a nerve somewhere but I am not sure how I would respond in public. It was never more popular in a year that 80 on the list and most years it's 350-400. Keeping in tradition Dena in my birth year is 572 on the list.

It's strange for me because I kind of do and don't react to it, in that it makes me disassociate like crazy, and I can't really believe it's my name and never have done, but I do notice when it's used -- it's less like i hear it and think 'that's me' and more like i hear it and it's familiar... hard to explain. Like when someone says something and it sounds like someone you know's voice, but it isn't them... idk

I know too many guys with that name to let it phase me. I even dated one. After 25 years, hearing it has no effect anymore. I just ain't sure what my reaction would be if I heard my old male name accompanied with my old last name. Having come from an adoptive family that disowned me, nobody I know knows what that name was.

My birth name is very common. So early on it was hard to not turn my head. As others have said it took a conscious effort to not react when hearing my old name. My mom still goofs up but dementia is to blame and so I will just correct her by say "Who". The only time I reacted and did so intentionally after hearing it was I was dealing with the account even though the info was put in the appointment correctly he went by what was on the past record and as a result he said the old name. No one else was there so I had to own up to it. Needless to say I nicely chewed him out without going into a lot of details. However, it was the only time I have reacted to my old name since probably about 6 months after it was legally changed. Hugs
Mariah

Quote from: Peep on July 11, 2016, 06:27:14 PM
It's strange for me because I kind of do and don't react to it, in that it makes me disassociate like crazy, and I can't really believe it's my name and never have done, but I do notice when it's used -- it's less like i hear it and think 'that's me' and more like i hear it and it's familiar... hard to explain. Like when someone says something and it sounds like someone you know's voice, but it isn't them... idk

Yeah it feels like this to me too. My birth name ever felt like 'my name' and when some people still use it, it feels like they're talking to someone else.

Mine isn't that common. In fact, it hasn't come up at random at all. The only time I hear it is when people use it directed towards me specifically.

Quote from: MisterQueer on July 10, 2016, 11:38:04 PM
Ex: being out in public and hearing someone say your birthname and snapping your head to their direction, even if they weren't calling for you.

For people who no longer do react: 

When you started going by another name, how long did it take for your mind to stop reacting to it?

at work i go by my birthname... i have personal reason not to change my birthname... but i do have a"preffered" name when im out with friends and family... some of my coworkers call me by my preffered name...

I saw my boy name etched into a sidewalk tile. I thought it was cute and took a photo.

Quote from: Elis on July 12, 2016, 01:14:17 AM
Yeah it feels like this to me too. My birth name ever felt like 'my name' and when some people still use it, it feels like they're talking to someone else.

Yeah, it doesn't help that i was named after someone else. It's a cliche but my birth name is like a literal symbol of my parent's expectations for me lol. Having a name that feels like it's mine is my favourite part of transitioning so far actually.

I do, but not in the way you mean - I flinch away from it. That was true even before I transitioned or legally changed my name (which was a fun time...), so by the time all my ID was corrected, I'd long since stopped *answering* to it. Now, if I hear that name, I wince and try to ignore it.

Funnily enough, my wife also legally changed her first name, and she has the same reactions; she doesn't answer to it or look around to see who's talking, she say she wants to get away.

Despite not having my name changed, or even a new name picked out, I still flinch at my own name - if I do react to it. I often don't take note of it and don't react.

No, not really. I'm getting so used to being deadnamed by my father that I don't even bother correcting people anymore. When I meet someone for the first time, I'll tell them my name is Tristyn but if they just deadname me, I just don't even bother correcting. I don't see the point anymore.

I feel like my voice barely matters and my wants are unregistered just to be ma'amed at the end of the conversation after I say that I prefer male pronouns. I like gender neutral too sometimes, but I think it's even stranger for the majority to comprehend. So I just let 'em ma'am and she and deadname me because nothing really matters anyways.

I always made the joke, when I was youn ger that I was named after my Aunt as my name could could go both ways if shortened. I was lucky my name is both male and female, so I kept it after shortening it.So when I changed my name, I still respond to the name.

My mother named me and she always loved the name. it still stings when people call me Christopher, but the fact that my nickname has always been Chris, does help. My mother accepted me before she passed away and because of that as well, I still wanted to keep a part of the name she gave me.

In my department between contracted staff and coworkers there are 4 with my birth name and several in other departments I work with have my old name. So, I hear my old name every day and then there are slip ups from coworkers. My wife and brother-in-law refuse to use my new name. So when I hear the name I say in my head not me. If it is a slip up will respond Rachel. If it is on purpose I do not want to cause an issue but I distance myself.

When I hear my old name I think that is not my name and look slowly. I do this on purpose. I hope to some day not look but it is hard. I hear my new name many times a day and it does feel good. I really like my new name. I just need to learn and remember all the people that now greet and say hello in the hallways