Hey guys.

So I have a difficult situation to discuss.

I have complex PTSD from childhood abuse, and a nagging case of OCD in combination with my gender dysphoria. I say combination because I often obsess about dysphoria and have annoying rituals surrounding the dysphoria. I do have a therapist but my case of trauma is pretty bad, I´ve been trying to deal with it for 15 years now.

This situation has led to trouble with housing because dysphoria will frequently induce panic attacks which the mixes with my anxiety, anger issues and OCD to make a horrible outcome where I frequently end up screaming and my housemates can hear.

Living somewhere isolated does not help, I´ve tried that. All my symptoms became worse due to it, but I´m really ashamed of my housemates partaking in all my drama. I wish they couldn´t hear me. I can´t always control my panic attacks...

I know a fraction of people who have dysphoria, also have other disorders and that´s why I´m wondering if you have any wisdom to share. Or whether you can relate. I also just need to share this story, it´s very depressing for me.

Have you thought about maybe looking for trans flatmates? There's a Facebook group for that (sorry that I can't remember the exact name of it). Or you could go on Tumblr and ask around. Maybe living with people who understand trans and mental health stuff would help. I wish i could offer more advice :/

I wonder if there is transitional housing or group home situations where you live? Maybe where there is a social worker or the like on duty? Someone screaming for seemingly no reason can be very distressing, but perhaps in a situation where they deal with people with mental health issues or disabilities they may be more aware and able to handle it.

Obviously there are downsides to this sort of housing situations (lots of rules, for one thing) but maybe it could help you build some confidence in living with others and being more independent.

Trans Housing Network may be of use to you. You post an ad describing yourself, your circumstances, what you're looking for, etc. and folks will contact you if they have space available or are also looking for roommates.

Are there any kind of independent living programs in your country for folks with mental health issues or disabilities? These could be group living situations or single apartments in a larger facility. A therapist or social worker may have some ideas.

Thanks guys! I´m not sure if there´s anything like that here in Europe but I´ll look it up.

And yeah I agree that it must be distressing for my housemates. I actually was in one of those living programs for a very short while, but it did not work out at all. At the time they put me together with people who had borderline (PTSD is similar, but not the same deal), but I was much older than them (about seven years, they were teens).

The rules suffocated me. I´m independent - and fully functional - on my own. Back then they had rules for when to come home (seriously, I´m nearly thirty), when to eat, what to eat, how to do grocery shopping. That kind of program is meant for people who cannot live in a routine or a schedule, but it did not help me.

I´m hoping T will contribute to my stability a lot. I´m barely on it, but already noticing a big difference.