Hello everyone, I was hoping for some advice. Allow me to explain my situation. I'm starting my senior year of college in a month and I'm wanting to get my transition going in full swing. I'm currently pre-HRT and don't know if I'll get to start it in a month (the nearest doctor I can find is halfway across the state, and it's a long state). All my friends at college know I'm trans, so I'm fine there, but I'm also nervous about all the other people I know that I'm not out to. I'm a theatre major and work on the plays, so I see a lot of the same faces each semester. I also want to change my name at the college, but I need a legal name change to do that. A friend suggested I talk to my college adviser and see if he can do anything about it.  Beyond that, my only other fear is passing before HRT and with my voice from what little I've worked on it.

Has anyone had experience with trying to get their name changed at their college? And does anyone have any advise on what I can expect from the other people I mentioned or about pass before HRT? I'm really nervous about this whole situation and anything will help.

Welcome to Susan's Place. From the terminology you are using, I am guessing you are MTF as MTF normally refer to HRT and FTM normally ask for testosterone. With FTM, testosterone is very powerful and often makes passing possible in a short period of time for MTF, estrogen is far slower and facial hair removal, voice training, makeup and hair all need to be addressed before most are able to pass effectively. All of this takes time and it's possible to go a long time without changing legal documentations. When I transition, my documentation couldn't be changed until I was post surgical so for over 2.5 year I had a letter from my therapist in my purse should I need to explain my identity. In the time I carried the letter, I never had to use it. If you are considering full time, then talking to somebody in the school would allow you to take advantage of what ever procedures are in place. Just remember that the transition involves many steps and it takes time to accomplish them. Few people pass early in the transition so this will involve a good deal of time and effort to accomplish.

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Have you looked up your college's protocol for trans students? Many unis have a specific pdf for staff and students that outlines their policies. You may be able to get you name changed on their registers and any public things, even if their internal systems keep your birth name (I applied to grad school this year and the application had "Name" and "known as" and my "name" was on the acceptance letter, but my "known as" name has been on emails and student union correspondence).

Also check and see if there's a trans or LGBTQ society attached to the college, they might be useful if you need support outside of your friend group

It's a good idea to know exactly what the college's policy is so that you can quote it to any tutors that are being awkward!

Quote from: Peep on July 25, 2016, 05:10:17 PM
Have you looked up your college's protocol for trans students? Many unis have a specific pdf for staff and students that outlines their policies. You may be able to get you name changed on their registers and any public things, even if their internal systems keep your birth name (I applied to grad school this year and the application had "Name" and "known as" and my "name" was on the acceptance letter, but my "known as" name has been on emails and student union correspondence).

Also check and see if there's a trans or LGBTQ society attached to the college, they might be useful if you need support outside of your friend group

It's a good idea to know exactly what the college's policy is so that you can quote it to any tutors that are being awkward!

I've checked and my university doesn't have a publicly available policy for trans students. I'm pretty sure one exists, but not one that I can view on their website. So that's just down to me getting up the courage to talk to my college adviser.

As for the LGBTQ group on my campus, it's kind of dwindling. It's meeting times often happen during rehearsals for the play I work on and the one time I got to go there were only 4 people there, myself included. But I'm sure that's mainly just because of a lack of interest rather than fear for safety. So as a group they aren't really available.

I was in a similar situation to this last year, I started uni (where I knew noone) when I was 2 weeks on T, so I wasnt really passing but I looked adrogynous. The uni wouldnt let me change my name on documents without proof of a legal name change, but they gave me the option to add my "preferred name" in brackets and printed on my ID card, so you could ask if this is an option? Also I asked them to change my gender on the system to male - at first they said they couldnt without proof of my gender but then emailed me later to say sorry, they made a mistake and had discovered that proof wasnt neccessary to change my gender on their systems. If they register you by gender not sex, they might agree to change it without documentation. A few people I met (flatmates, etc) talked about me at first, but not in a nasty way, they just werent sure what gender I was or pronouns to call me (theyd never met a trans person before). Once I briefly explained, they were very accepting and I became close friends with many of them. Many people never even spoke about my gender and just overheard others using male pronouns and copied. I very very rarely came across transphobic or unsupportive people. I was terrified before starting, but it ended up being great, so try not to worry! Good luck, I hope you have an amazing senior year

I was in my last year of grad school and in a similar situation.   I put transition on hold for a year and worked on me.   I went on job interviews as a female, but continued my college TA duties as my "old self."  After that year was up i smoothly transitioned into my new life.  Best of luck whatever you decide to do.

In your shoes, I'm not sure what I would do. I changed my name before I got my diploma, but I was still living as a woman; it's more socially acceptable for a woman to have a man's name than the other way around. And in the years afterward, I did have some interesting situations because of my name; if people don't read you as female, your experiences may be even more, um, interesting unless you choose a gender-neutral name. If you are consistently read as female (or if you don't care), then your case is obviously different.

Colleges tend to be very accommodating about name changes after you have graduated, but it's definitely better to take the leap beforehand if you can swing it.

If you are worried about money, see how much name changes cost in your area. You might be pleasantly surprised. In addition, if you are in the U.S., many states--perhaps all--offer fee waivers for low-income people. I assume that, as a student, you would have a good chance of qualifying. Look into your local court system's site and look over the name-change sections. If waivers aren't mentioned, do a search specifically for fee waivers because some sites don't make that information easy to find (or they put fee waivers into their own section, since waivers apply to many different legal situations, not just name changes).

Also, if your campus does not have an LGBT center, you might be able to get some support and advice at a community LGBT center.

Well personally I am about to finish my first degree and I have been on hrt the whole time but i dont let people know as I saw no point in risking anything studies wise due to bias. Sure initially I thought it would be cool but then I realized that 85% of my fellow students were male so I just stayed male to make the whole process easier.

As far as I know in america you need a therapists go ahead to start HRT under a doctors supervision.

At my uni I was able to change my gender once I had legally changed it and same applies with names. In terms of passing thats all up to how you developed up to this point and well if your mtf or ftm.