Through the years I was always led to believe that therapy was meant to HELP people find happiness. Unfortunately my recent experiences with therapists in the Orlando area have instead cause to destroy my self confidence and make me feel like I'm nothing more than another faceless transitioner. I always believed that "transition" was the journey between sexes, and that the ultimate goal should be to ensure that the transitioner was able to live a happy and productive life. I'm afraid, now, that "standards" are nothing more than another roadblock to shake down people like me.
I started my journey over a dozen years ago. I went "full time" back in 2002, and had IS genital correction surgery in 2003. Since then I lived a lifetime. I returned to school and completed another degree. I worked out differences with my family, and am fully accepted as a daughter, sister, aunt, niece, etc. I was living a life that I assumed was an indication of successful transition, and my past life was totally gone except for my Texas Birth Certificate which continued to identify me as male.
When I found out that a recent court ruling made it possible to modify Texas birth certificates, I was ecstatic, and started the process to obtaining a court order to change it. Unfortunately over the past 13 years my surgery letter had been lost by Texas, and getting a replacement was would be a complex process. Instead I chose to see a local therapist, to get a referral to a Dr to get the equivalent of a "completed appropriate clinical treatment" letter. 13 years post, how hard can it be, right?
The meeting with the therapist went well, and I'm scheduled to meet with a doctor in a few weeks, but what I'm told is that because I no longer have a valid prescription for HRT, the Dr won't write a letter until I've been on HRT under their care for at least 3 months. In essence, despite obvious "successful" transition, I'll have to wait several months while I undergo "prescribed" HRT again. At 13 years post, I feel like while the rest of society accepts me as a woman, the very trans community that I thought would be open to me is exactly the group denying me closure because of unwavering WPATH standards. Where I was once confident, now I'm paranoid. If the trans community won't accept me, will the rest of society follow suit? Is it something I did? Do I no longer pass? In two weeks I've gone from insufferably confident to borderline suicidal.
Am I wrong in my feelings of being treated unfairly? Am I wrong in feeling that "standards" are more important than people? For the first time in almost 15 years, I think I need a drink.
