Sorry, but I need to write this down somewhere as I am slightly fuming!

My electrologist is the only one in the area who is registered with the national body and listed as having skills to treat TG people.

Anyway, today she is basically making out how lucky I am to find anyone at all to treat me. She says most electrologists won't treat TG clients because they can't be trusted. Her logic is that mtf TG people are basically just men in dresses and thus potentially dangerous predators, like all men.

Other comments over the past few weeks include "How can anyone with a penis expect to be accepted as a woman? It just doesn't make sense."

She also says that a lot of beauty salons will not want TG clients because the salons have standards to uphold and their other clients won't want to see TG people who often look "a mess" or "unconvincing". She also says that oftentimes children might go to beauty salons and suggested there is a need to protect them from TGs.

So basically (and weirdly) it is starting to sound like my electrologist is some kind of TERF. All this from someone who claims to have many TG people as clients, both past and present and apparently very proud of that fact.

It absolutely now pains me to give her money, but in truth I am struggling to find another electrologist in this area with suitable experience. Also strangely, she 'seems' to like me for some reason, but I am really no longer sure I trust her to give me the best treatment given her expressed views on people like me/us.

Sigh. rant over.

x

Sarah, that is awful.  I would certainly take my business elsewhere.  Are you sure there is no one else you can see? How much longer will you be doing electrolysis? Are you almost done, or just beginning?

With kindness,

Terri

Hi Terri,

I've been having electrolyisis for about 18 months, maybe about 120hrs in total. There is still a long way to go, unfortunately. Yes, I agree I am really going to have to put some serious effort into finding another electrologist, even if it means travelling further.

I think at least she needs some advice, though she doesn't seem to tolerate suggestions from me. I guess that's the other thing; she appears to have expectations that if I'm to be a woman I shouldn't disagree with her and my attitude should be one of passive acceptance! lol, how on earth does she square that with her rad-fem views?!?!

Thinking about it, I figure she is all too happy to take money from TG people and sees us as a business opportunity. Underlying that she also has some pretty deeply ingrained TERF ideology, though perhaps she doesn't realise how transphobic she sounds.

I guess the final piece of the puzzle is that despite the above, she gets some kind of kudos from being associated with trans people (like it reinforces how progressive/modern she thinks she is). I guess that explains why sometimes, I have felt like I am her 'pet TG' or something.

That is awful.

I was referred to a place from my PCP (they treat a lot of trans). It is Body Basics in Cherry Hill New Jersey. I did 6 genital clearing  sessions at Papillion in New Hope PA and I would go back there for face except I have established a connection with the people I go to now. They treat a lot of trans and are very busy but give me a Sunday appointment  

Hi Rachel. Glad it's going well It is a shame I live in the UK, otherwise I could pay them a visit!

That is beyond screwed up..... I don't think I would be able to sit through one treatment of that without telling her off.

Vote with your pocketbook. I just could not keep going back with the attitude that they have.
Heather

Thanks for the replies. Okay, next time I visit (which will possibly be the last) I have decided I will gently try to 'inform and educate'. Lol, this might not be the best idea with a highly opinionated person sticking hot needles in my face, but I feel like something needs to be said.

x

Oh. My. Dog.

That is just bizarre.  And yet she seeks transwoman as clients. 

Now I feel really fortunate to have found my electrologist.  She's a wonderful, kind person, is in our healthcare plan as a contractor, and is very well qualified to understand our needs.

Wow, that's awful, I'm so sorry.  I go to a place that specializes in treating transgender clients, and am treated like a friend there.  I feel really grateful, and hope that you'll find an alternative that you deserve.  She sounds completely out of line and disgusting. 

L

Wow I'm really not quite sure what to say about that. She should not be doing that job. She's probably very judgmental with all of her clients.

That is beyond screwed up. If you can find someone else then vote with your feet and leave her.

If you are going to educate and inform her (which I think is a good idea), I would wait until the session is over. If she becomes vindictive ("how dare she walk out on me or lecture me") she could try anything to cause harm, however slight it may be, and file it under "accidental"..."ooops, soooo sorry about that"..

When you are paying for the session and she wants to schedule the next session, let her know that you won't be working with her any longer because you don't feel comfortable working someone who is so intolerant and transphobic. We need allies not enemies who can provide the support needed to undergo this journey.

Bottom line: you need to feel comfortable with someone who is professional, compassionate and is an ally of the trans community. Don't settle for anything less.

I fired my first electrologist because she was unprofessional - taking phone calls during the middle of a session, inviting a friend to drop in while she was working, trash talking and gossiping about other clients, etc..

I made sure to let her know why I wouldn't be working with her. She offered 2 free sessions and I declined. Stand your ground and take your business elsewhere.

Quote from: Nina_NYC on July 31, 2016, 10:41:41 AM
If you are going to educate and inform her (which I think is a good idea), I would wait until the session is over.

+1 !!!

But unfortunately I doubt that such a person can be educated.