Hi Everyone
My name is Elise although I still spend a lot of my life living by a different name which I would rather not mention :|
I repressed, denied and hid (expertly apparently) my true self for most of my life, out of fear, social anxiety and an overpowering need to be accepted. This came at a steep cost of steadily increasing depression, crippling anxiety (especially socially) and self isolation.
Thirteen months ago things took a very dark turn in my depression and forced me to be truly honest with myself and accept that if I was ever going to be a happy person, or even survive at this point I would need to do what seemed impossible at the time and transition.
Since then things have been a roller coaster. I had mixed responses from family although mostly positive I know some of them are having a hard time accepting things. I have had to start and stop hormones several times thanks to allergies and poor results, each time accompanied with very dark, dangerous bouts of depression. I didn't have any friends prior thanks to depression and paranoia but I have managed to make some since
I have seen a gender therapist, several psychologists and psychiatrists (the latter for depression/anxiety mostly)
Currently on my fourth and still hopelessly unsuccessful hormone regimen (E/Progesterone), out to friends and family but not work, presenting less and less masculine in public.
I am hoping to get advice and support here, and where possible provide them too
although as a newbie I am guessing I won't be able to contribute anything of much use for a while but always happy to share my experiences.
*hugs*
Elise
