So I just hit my 6  month Anniversary on Hormone Replacement on Friday...  During that time, I have successfully informed 32 people of my current state of being.  I have actually seen 5 of them since starting hormones and them being informed of my transitional state...  In all 5 instances, when I see them in person, I have been told that I am not the efeminate person that they were expecting (and that's 5x verbatum).  When I text message them to break the ice and test the waters of the news during the notification ritual... (yes, I text/e-mail...  I am not big on confrontation and direct interrigation).  The common questions I receive are:

1.  "Is this a joke?"  ~ I guess I jest too much...
2.  "You grow a better beard than me... How can you be a girl?"
3.  "So do you still like girls?" ~ anyone who has had to break the news to anyone knows that is always one of the top 3 responses.
4.  "So how could you have been a girl all these years and still have rebuilt my car last year?"
5.  "Why haven't you ever acted like a girl?"

And when I finally get around to seeing my long time friends (I have only gotten around to telling 2 of my cousins.. Yes I am slow...  Maybe I will get around to Family in a year or so...) they were still in shock that I still don't live up to their expectation of a woman even after telling them that I haven't really changed...  I will always just be "me".  I started to ask myself if I'm possibly doing this wrong, because heck... I haven't even nailed down my name 100%, although it hasn't changed in 6 months.

I seem to have been identified as the "ultimate walking contradiction"...  A wise cracking grease monkey pinup girl with an adrenoline addiction.  I will draw down on the monologue in closing with this little pearl...  Happiness is a personal emotion; being something you're not can never bring your life fulfillment.  So should it really be called Transition, or would it be better described as Actualization?

I think self actualization as described by Maslow is a much more accurate description than transition.

Harley.
I like your name, its a bit uncommon. Maybe it fits you. You are a little uncommon also? That's a good thing.

I was a mechanic for years, so I had a few disbelievers as well. It kind of gets fun to blow people's minds after you get used to telling people. My favorite reaction as I sat folks down to tell them I had something important and unusual to tell them (which I got three times) was, "So your gonna become a woman. Ha ha ha!!!" To which, I said, "How did you know?" Then their jaw drops and they realize that their joke was really on them. Kaitlen Jenner comments were all the rage this year too. "You're gonna do the Kaitlen Jenner thing! Ha ha ha!" As for questions, everyone wanted to know if I was splitting from my wife.
My vote is you don't change unless you want to. Be yourself Harley.
Moni

Forget people... If you ask me, anyone who says that girls breaking gender roles makes them less feminine is sexist. Be yourself girl and forget the losers that make expectations for you to follow. <3

Oh, I'm sorry...  I always forget that I rarely sign my name on these.  The name is Victoria Quinn **insert last name**.  Or Just Tori.  Harleen Quinzel is one of my favorite DC characters...  but I can't see myself stealing her moniker.

My whole life has been made up of not being what people expect. In fact my mother said to me a couple of years ago that there is literally nothing left that I could do that would ever surprise or shock her any more.
I'm not sure if that was a bad or good thing?
I'm beginning to realise after perusing this site, that being your authentic self is the whole point of transitioning, not swapping one set of gender rules for another.
So I'm just gonna carry on being an engineering-y, mechanically minded, car repairing, metalworking, inventing, truck-driving, train-driving, boat-skippering, aircraft-flying, swarf in my hair, messy jeans and t-shirt, robot-obsessed, weird chick.

Quote from: V on August 08, 2016, 04:50:50 PM
My whole life has been made up of not being what people expect. In fact my mother said to me a couple of years ago that there is literally nothing left that I could do that would ever surprise or shock her any more.
I'm not sure if that was a bad or good thing?
I'm beginning to realise after perusing this site, that being your authentic self is the whole point of transitioning, not swapping one set of gender rules for another.
So I'm just gonna carry on being an engineering-y, mechanically minded, car repairing, metalworking, inventing, truck-driving, train-driving, boat-skippering, aircraft-flying, swarf in my hair, messy jeans and t-shirt, robot-obsessed, weird chick.

I love that!

Quote from: Harley Quinn on August 08, 2016, 11:00:56 AM
I seem to have been identified as the "ultimate walking contradiction"...  A wise cracking grease monkey pinup girl with an adrenoline addiction. 

Go for the contradiction. Your note brought laughter.
Wake up world, lady mechanics are not new! I have photos of my wife changing the timing chain in her uncle's 70-something Chevy while pregnant out to here with our daughter.

Susan

I have told my mom i am trans and she has shared it with a few people so she could talk about it with someone (i think) and one said ( dont know it exactly any more) what him no he cant be trans even though i dont know that persone very well, i think that most people look at things that are primarly done by people of that gender when thinking if some one is trans or not, so most people will expect trans people to do things that people of that gender do so they dont think that some who is a car machanic would be mtf or a nurse to be ftm just to give an example.

Quote from: Harley Quinn on August 08, 2016, 04:56:55 PM
I love that!

Ha ha! Just like a firing squad, I aim to please 

Those gender stereotypes really got me bogged down, back when I was trying to figure out if I was "trans enough to transition."  I finally concluded that it doesn't matter.  I don't need to fit a minimum list of "feminine traits and likes" in order to be a woman.  People don't tell cis women that they are not "real women" because they're not feminine enough!  And the same applies to trans women like me!  I'm a woman because I know that I'm a woman.  Simple as that.

Quote from: EmilyMK03 on August 08, 2016, 06:13:53 PM
Those gender stereotypes really got me bogged down, back when I was trying to figure out if I was "trans enough to transition."  I finally concluded that it doesn't matter.  I don't need to fit a minimum list of "feminine traits and likes" in order to be a woman.  People don't tell cis women that they are not "real women" because they're not feminine enough!  And the same applies to trans women like me!  I'm a woman because I know that I'm a woman.  Simple as that.

This is so so true!
Well said!

All my life I had trouble understanding gender stereotypes.  I was one of three boys on a farm in a country community.  So I saw a lot of gender stereotyping in talk.  But in reality the majority of women I knew were just as capable as the men because there was no choice.   I left the farm to do engineering at Uni and there were only minimal women in the course and then entered the workforce with smaller percentage of women.  But they were all equal to my level of knowledge or exceeded it.  It also annoyed me that my friends just left their girlfriends whilst doing their manly!! things with the other boys.  The bonus from this was that I could have a conversation with a girl without worrying that they though I was trying to hit on them (my wife asked me out, and probably kick my ar#e but is my equal) .

The positives are that my children are growing up in a better environment (not perfect but better).  Although I would like both my kids (the boy and the girl) to be engineers or to be a lead singer (girl) in a metal band and an acclaimed pianist (boy) but most importantly happy.

Quote from: HappyMoni on August 08, 2016, 03:55:44 PM
Harley.
I like your name, its a bit uncommon. Maybe it fits you. You are a little uncommon also? That's a good thing.

I was a mechanic for years, so I had a few disbelievers as well. It kind of gets fun to blow people's minds after you get used to telling people. My favorite reaction as I sat folks down to tell them I had something important and unusual to tell them (which I got three times) was, "So your gonna become a woman. Ha ha ha!!!" To which, I said, "How did you know?" Then their jaw drops and they realize that their joke was really on them. Kaitlen Jenner comments were all the rage this year too. "You're gonna do the Kaitlen Jenner thing! Ha ha ha!" As for questions, everyone wanted to know if I was splitting from my wife.
My vote is you don't change unless you want to. Be yourself Harley.
Moni

I was pretty horrible and ambilavent about Cailtlyn Jenner, because of that family and my own transphobia.

Having now watched her obsessively, I never knew ( or allowed myself to acknowledge) it was an ongoing years long thing she had struggled with privately, already done HRT for, etc.

I'm so on her side, I think she's amazing.

Even a few months ago I used to go "oh yeah, Caitlyn and her chin" not knowing what she'd gone through and thinking it was some Kartrashian twist.

From an extra on a show I wouldn't watch if my life depended on it, she's become my ultimate 'dead dinner party guest". I hope she finds everything she dreamed of.

Quote from: Harley Quinn on August 08, 2016, 04:35:32 PM
Oh, I'm sorry...  I always forget that I rarely sign my name on these.  The name is Victoria Quinn **insert last name**.  Or Just Tori.  Harleen Quinzel is one of my favorite DC characters...  but I can't see myself stealing her moniker.

Hey Tori, I went to see Suicide Squad tonight and realized that that was probably not your real name. Silly me! "Tori" is a cool name too!
Moni

Quote from: HappyMoni on August 08, 2016, 11:42:36 PM
Hey Tori, I went to see Suicide Squad tonight and realized that that was probably not your real name. Silly me! "Tori" is a cool name too!
Moni

Ha ha ha ha... no problem. Just no spoilers... my friends bailed on me to see it so I'm still waiting

You know, Harley, now you are going to have to do a picture of that Rosie the Riveter pose, right?

Ha ha ha... that's a tough pose to pull off in a selfie. Perhaps next time 

I'm the same though!! I'm a DT teacher by trade and I love building and fixing things, I've rebuilt 2 cars from scratch and I enjoyee riding my motorbike when I had one and using my jet ski/hand gliding and I live 2 miles away from the longest zip wire in Europe so we're regularly there haha. That said, my nails are always perfect and makeup is always done, hair spot on haha. It's not the who you should be it's the who you are that counts and that is irrespective of gender and gender roles. I am a woman but I don't sit under duvets and watch musicals and so what!!

Every woman is different and so are we. When I first was feeling my way, I tried to be very prim and girly, and figured out that it just wasn't me. I'm still an engineer and a more athletic type of woman. I'm not afraid to use power tools and get sweaty and my nails are never perfect! 

However, one thing about being a woman in the world is that it is good to have women friends. Women in groups without men act completely differently than they do when men are present. If you want to experience this, you'll want to nurture interests that you share with other women.

Don't take up sewing if you hate it. For me it has been tennis. YMMV