Quote from: Peep on March 19, 2016, 09:52:53 AM
I'm transitioning on the NHS in the UK at the moment, and while I don't object to the idea that patients should be aware of the effects and consequences of HRT, so far I haven't been given any information about that by the NHS - I'm only aware via research that I've done by myself here and elsewhere. If I hadn't, the only information I would have received from the NHS so far is that:

- society looks down on trans people (shocker, i know)
- i might end up being perceived as male like i want to - or I might end up looking like (exact quote) 'an ugly girl with a beard'
- vague implications that major surgery might just be difficult (because I must have been thinking having chunks of flesh removed would be easy)

Admittedly, I'm early on - I've only had the GP meeting to request the referral, and two psychologist meetings. But if it's the gender identity clinc's job to talk to me about HRT and its effects etc, and the psychologist's job to check that I'm emotionally ready and don't have any unrelated issues, why did she only talk to me about how terrible an idea transitioning is/ that I'll never ~pass/ that I'm not as burly and butch as she expected?

I feel like if it wasn't a gatekeeping meeting, and was actually about my mental health, i wouldn't have been asked those questions - about my sexuality or my sex life, or about if i was prepared to become a social pariah. I was asked if I'd done any research of my own, and i said I'd researched online both through the NHS's own website and resources, this forum, and youtube videos of actual trans people talking about their lived experiences. The psych didn't seem to think this was enough - but didn't give me any alternative resources. They didn't even ask what my research had taught me so for all they know i could have an entirely incorrect idea of what HRT does. What if I had done no research at all? How can they assess if I'm ready for changes if they can't be sure that I'm even aware of what these changes are?

I expect that I'll be given better info by the GIC when I eventually get a meeting there, but I don't understand how the two meetings i had with psychology would have told the NHS anything about my mental state or competency as most of what we talked about aside from the scare tactics about how i'm too pretty to pass as male, was me trying to explain the concept of bisexuality and clarifying that I haven't already had a chest reduction, I'm just binding.

To me those meetings didn't feel useful, they felt like they were designed to put me off, or test that i'm willing to put the effort in to push for a referral and that i'm not just transitioning on a whim - and they made me very depressed for weeks. They were not designed to educate me or support me in any way. I wasn't asked if i feel anxious or depressed i was told that i should feel anxious, unsafe and depressed.

Bear in mind that I can't afford to go private, and that this psych was the only one in my area and is working with the GIC that I'll be referred to. I've heard that bridging hormones is sometimes possible on the NHS - meaning that it's possible for my GP to proscribe me HRT but only at their discretion, and most GPs would likely be uncomfortable proscribing without first consulting with psychology or with a GIC first anyway. Part of the problem with gate keeping is that for a lot of us the options are very limited. If the NHS was to turn me away I wouldn't be able to transition for years, if at all.

I also understand that there's a lot of pressure on the NHS but perhaps that could be relieved somewhat by not referring me to a psych for two useless meetings?

I don't understand why the doctors or therapists would think anyone would be fraudulently trans because it's such a serious thing. They [the first therapist] seemed to think I was following a trend because of Caitlyn Jenner. I knew how serious the hormones and the surgery was and what a harsh journey it would take to make me fully fulfilled. I understand, Peep.

Quote from: mmmmm on June 21, 2016, 10:25:04 PM
I changed my mind on this matter in past couple months... Im 110% against any requirements for genital reconstruction, or penectomy or orchiectomy. People who are sane can obviously decide for themselves what choices they make and what works the best for them... and people who are insane, god bless them, I dont mind if they want to have their private parts reconstructed, if they pay for it themself. It doesnt affect me in any way. There are probably some cis guys who for whatever reason start to believe that they are in fact transsexual, and want to have SRS... Let them have it! Its actually funny (in a very twisted way) if you think about it...

Surgeons and psychiatrists should better make sure to protect themselves legally though.

I don't understand how a cis man can want to be transgender. If he "wants" to be transgender he would already have had to have been unconsciously all along and just discovered it when he saw others coming out and transitioning.

Quote from: alienbodybuilder on August 11, 2016, 09:21:35 AM
I don't understand how a cis man can want to be transgender.

I think this is simply, direct and true.   Especially with the first step to HRT, the anti-androgen component will do something, relatively quickly, and its either going to be a huge, "omg, what have I done!" moment, which will reverse in a week or two after the dude flushes the hormones down the toilet...   or, a "praise the lord, why didn't I do this on my 18th birthday!" moment, in which case, proceed.

Probably more complicated FtM because T is so subtle on that side; but MtF?  T is a giant bludgeon of unhappiness crushing everything in its path that doesn't want to be masculine.    For a dude thinking its a cool idea?   No chance.

So I think the IC way is fundamentally a good thing, but I am also more tolerant of bad outcomes on outlier cases.  This conflicts with the general US approach to medicine, where a significantly bad outcome, even on a small number of cases, can radically restrict how a protocol or drug is used.   So I dunno really; some form of gatekeeping should be fine, but I think it needs to adjust to making that first step to HRT very rapidly; essentially "hormone on demand" but with 0 refill; come talk to me and convince me you like the change (and gimme another blood sample so I don't blow up your liver..:-D)

caveat: being that I intend to stay with HRT but no-op; my perception might just have a bit of bias.....   
(2) if mods think I'm posting too much for a new member, please feel free to say, "shut up already"...  this place is amazing and I don't want to annoy yall..

Quote from: rwOnnaDesuKa on August 11, 2016, 09:52:14 AM
(2) if mods think I'm posting too much for a new member, please feel free to say, "shut up already"...  this place is amazing and I don't want to annoy yall..

If you think you are posting to much for a new user, look at my early posting history on the site. I was noticed at 300 posts and asked about becoming a moderator. At 750 a more formal request was made and at 1,500 posts, about 4 months after I joined the site I ended up with this chain around my leg keeping me near the computer. 

Comrade, you're looking at your glorious free ankle bracelet in all the wrong ways! 

When I was transitioning, I had a friend who was also in the early stages of her real life test. This was 1991, so back then we had to live in our new gender, full-time, for one year before SRS. I don't know what is usual now.

What happened to her is that she was finishing pharmacy school and had a lot of difficulty finding a job due to her status. She was up front with potential employers and she just couldn't find a position. She finally gave it up and decided that she would go back to living as a man. My friend needed to survive.

Whenever I think about the process that was required, I think about my friend and that very difficult decision she was faced with. I will never judge her for her decision because it was hers to make. I will say that I think that the process may have done her a service, in a way. She did have difficulty passing in a public-facing profession and the discrimination she faced may have been wrong but it was real. There is no easy path for us (you'll hear me say this again and again).

It's frustrating to wait, I know, but real life isn't a prom night. It's messy and full of trials. As a trans-person, we get an extra helping of complicated.

While I do believe that the choice ultimately belongs to the individual, I believe that discovering the reality of life in our new gender role before surgery is a good thing. Therefore, I am not for "surgery on demand" but perhaps, "surgery after the appropriate steps are taken." Something like that.

-Rhonda (MTF SRS 1991 new girl here)

Quote from: Rhonda Lynn on August 13, 2016, 10:13:05 PM
When I was transitioning, I had a friend who was also in the early stages of her real life test. This was 1991, so back then we had to live in our new gender, full-time, for one year before SRS. I don't know what is usual now.

What happened to her is that she was finishing pharmacy school and had a lot of difficulty finding a job due to her status. She was up front with potential employers and she just couldn't find a position. She finally gave it up and decided that she would go back to living as a man. My friend needed to survive.

I've not transitioned, but I don't think I'd survive without HRT and as for SRS who's to know if you don't tell them?

Quote from: AnonyMs on August 13, 2016, 11:01:06 PM
I've not transitioned, but I don't think I'd survive without HRT and as for SRS who's to know if you don't tell them?

It can be very complicated when you're transitioning with a career. There are your identification documents that may not match the name and gender that you are using. There are college transcripts that may not match. At some point, questions come up and the truth may be the best option.

Quote from: Rhonda Lynn on August 13, 2016, 11:35:22 PM
It can be very complicated when you're transitioning with a career. There are your identification documents that may not match the name and gender that you are using. There are college transcripts that may not match. At some point, questions come up and the truth may be the best option.

For each choice you can make it seems like some tried it and it worked out happily and others did the same and it was a disaster. If only you could try each option in turn until you found the one that worked, but unfortunately some of them are not easily undone. Life's complicated.