Today I took a big step forward toward FFS.

Me: 57 years old, SRS in 1991, married in 1994. Two adult children from first marriage.

I've been quietly investigating FFS for a while now. Looking at before and after photos, procedures, surgeon's costs and thinking about it. I've made a couple of initial inquiries.

Perhaps I should mention that back in the day, when I transitioned, I knew nothing of FFS. I did have rhinoplasty at the time which I think helped me a lot.

Here's the thing, I have been passing for decades now. I know because friends that I've had for years occasionally ask me questions like "where does your kids' father live?" which is incredibly awkward but O/T... Anyway, I also don't get the looks or anything. Still - when I look at pictures of myself, especially without hair and make-up, to me it's very apparent. Plus, those more masculine features make me seem older and less attractive to my eye.

Well, I've been thinking a lot about it and telling my husband that I want to do it. He's okay with me doing it, but I think he's been having having a little trouble understanding why I want to put myself through that kind of pain and recovery.

Finally getting to my point now. I called my 29 year old daughter whom I've always been very close to. I explained it to her and wasn't really sure of what her reaction would be. She said "I think you should go for it!!" She completely understood. She said "Hey, I get it, I mean, I wear make-up everyday. If I felt there was something that I needed or wanted to do to make myself look better and feel more confident, I would totally do it!" She had more to say but all in the same vain. Wow! This reaction from her made my year! My relationship with her means everything and it's not as though I need her permission, but if she had not understood or had wondered why I was wasting money on vanity, it would have been very hard for me. It would have made it a lot harder to go forward.

After explaining it to my daughter, I made another attempt to explain to my husband about how as it is now, I feel like - sure I pass. I've learned to communicate my gender through clothes, hair, make-up, mannerisms, confidence, etc. in spite of what nature did to my bone structure. However, it would be so nice when I don't have make-up on, when my bicycle helmet is on and my hair is pulled back or when I just haven't had the time to make an effort - in those times if my face would look feminine just as it is. He understands now. I think I just hadn't explained it very well before. 

I didn't realize that telling my daughter was tantamount to making a decision, but almost immediately after speaking with her I realized, I've decided. I'm doing this. I've looked at a lot of before and after photos and I am trying to keep my expectations realistic. I don't expect to look like the knock-out some of you young girls do. "Somewhat attractive middle-aged woman" will do fine.

So for me this is about confidence and feeling more attractive.

I'll post here when I've decided on a surgeon. ATM, I'm thinking about Rossi, Cardenas and PAI and would welcome PMs from girls that have experience with them.

Sound like you have a good life, that is great to hear.

similar timeline as mine

I had two "feminizing" rhinoplasties in early '80s, breast aug in '84, SRS in '85.  That was it, couldn't do anything else.  Though there were hints about a surgeon who reconstructed forehead in the trans newsletter I received monthly in the mail.  However the surgeon was not named.  When I asked the surgeon who did all the cosmetic work, rhino's and BA, he said there was nothing that could be done to the forehead.  So I lived with my forehead, wearing hairstyles that hid it somewhat.  Also, as an athletic dyke lesbian, I started wearing a visor even when I was not playing softball. 


Prior to FFS, every day I took a shower I would feel my protruding forehead, but did not think there was anything I could do about it.  Then in 2005 I heard about FFS, joined a very vibrant Yahoo FFS group, read every single post.  From that point on I started saving money.

My partner of 17 years thought I looked fine, we are just a couple of aging old ladies.  However she understood if I wanted to pursue it she was okay with it.

Finally last May I took the first steps of contacting FFS surgeons, received a quote from two.  Next thing you know in June I'm sending a deposit for surgery with Dr Rossi, scheduling it for Sept 2015.  Everything pretty much was a whirlwind until I returned from BA last Oct.

Thanks for sharing your experiences, Deeiche. We do have a similar timeline and experiences. I'm also into sports and have often worn hats or visors.

I can completely relate to what you're saying about covering up your forehead. I hate windy days because the wind blows my bangs off my forehead and I feel self-conscious. Also, when swimming, I don't want to get my hair wet, etc. 

Here are a few images of me now. The first one is more or less my everyday look. In the last photo I've pulled all my hair back so you can see everything - I really don't like this photo as you can see my bone structure as it is and my high hairline.

(removed - see images below in post below)

That conversation with your daughter really moved me.

Hi Rhonda!!!

Congrats on the decision to move ahead! Your daughter sounds like such a sweetie!!!... I am gaining a daughter through my marriage next month and hope to be a grandma... Okay... A hot grandma, one of these days

I have no experience with any of those surgeons but had 23 hours worth of surgery on my face in 2015 with Dr Deschamps-Braly and happy to answer any questions I can about the procedures themselves, healing etc

Take Care,
Ashley

Quote from: Celia0428 on August 18, 2016, 03:43:17 PM
That conversation with your daughter really moved me.

Thank you Celia.

I was afraid that I didn't explain it all that well. My daughter is married and an attorney. When I talk to her about things and ask her opinion, I expect honesty from someone that I both love and respect. If she thought that it was strange that I would do this, she would say so.

I'm still feeling really good about it. Since then I wrote to my older sister. I'm not sure how she'll react. I haven't told my son. I'm not looking forward to that so much. I expect him to be supportive whether he fully understands it or not. I think for women, it's easier to understand because women are used to making an effort on their appearance by coloring their hair, wearing make-up, bodywear, or even cosmetic surgery. Most women aren't hung up on appearing au naturale. Otherwise, imagine all the hairy legs and bushy eyebrows. 

Quote from: tgirlamc on August 18, 2016, 10:13:36 PM
Hi Rhonda!!!

Congrats on the decision to move ahead! Your daughter sounds like such a sweetie!!!... I am gaining a daughter through my marriage next month and hope to be a grandma... Okay... A hot grandma, one of these days

I have no experience with any of those surgeons but had 23 hours worth of surgery on my face in 2015 with Dr Deschamps-Braly and happy to answer any questions I can about the procedures themselves, healing etc

Take Care,
Ashley

Thank you, Ashley! She is everything I could ever hope for in a daughter. My son is great too. In that, I have been lucky. They both accept me for who I am.

Many times I think, I wish that I could have transitioned as a teenager and avoided all the pain and damage of testosterone, but then I wouldn't have been blessed with my two kids. So, overall I don't regret that.

Congratulations to you, Ashley, on gaining a daughter! Daughters are such a gift.

My daughter is very recently married, so now if you beat me in the race to be "hot grandma" I will be very jealous!  I'm so bad that I have grandma books on my Amazon reading list. ... oops O/T ...

25 hours!!  You are a strong and brave woman, but obviously it paid off. I did see your before and after photos and you look at least 15 years younger than what your bio says.

Hi Rhonda, my story is not too dissimilar to yours.
I transitioned in 2000, had SRS in 2003, and a partially successful hair transplant in 2006. I pass in everyday life, have unsuspecting female friends, and am engaged to a lovely guy for the past 6 years. I live 'in stealth'.
I didn't know that FFS existed, and it's not until going on this site that I really realised it's prevalence and popularity these days among the trans community.
I have many of the fears and concerns that you have with my forehead and hairline. I hate windy days, I often wear caps to hide my forehead. I obsess over using my hair to try to hide it all, but then I get resentful of the fact that I can't be more free and relaxed with my hair. Like tieing it back, wearing it up, or any of that. So I avoid certain situations, like getting it wet out in public, or open top cars, or anything like that.
I have concerns about getting FFS though.
I agonised over discussing it with my partner, and when I finally did, we fell out badly over it, because he couldn't see what I see, and hence is adamant I don't need it. Plus he's terrified of the risks I'd be taking if it went wrong. Plus, as I live in stealth, I don't want big changes because that would raise questions from people who only know me as a woman. I don't want to 'out' myself through having FFS.
I also know my parents would not be happy at all if they knew what I was considering.
It's a very difficult decision really, but I am so tired of accepting the appearance compromise and daily worry over my hair not hiding my forehead bone issues.
I have booked an appointment to go and see Facial Team in Spain, in January, and my partner has reluctantly agreed to accompany me. But with all the hints he's been dropping about money, I'm not sure if he's just coming along to stop me agreeing to expensive surgery. Even though I will have saved up the necessary money beforehand.
I wish I had a daughter who was supportive, but I just know, like everything else I've done, I'm going to have to force the issue against the opinions of those around me.
I wish you well with your FFS adventure.

Here are a few images of me now with no makeup at all!




Here is pretty much my every look.



I'm curious if you all think that after 26 years of HRT whether you are all seeing M or F or androgynous especially with the no-makeup pics. I honestly can't tell. You can be honest - just don't call me an old hag or something.  Maybe people see my face and neither gender jumps out so clearly that they rely on other gender clues like hair, clothes, breasts, jewelry and so they sub-consciously decide female.

Quote from: V on August 19, 2016, 02:45:32 AM
Hi Rhonda, my story is not too dissimilar to yours.
I transitioned in 2000, had SRS in 2003, and a partially successful hair transplant in 2006. I pass in everyday life, have unsuspecting female friends, and am engaged to a lovely guy for the past 6 years. I live 'in stealth'.
I didn't know that FFS existed, and it's not until going on this site that I really realised it's prevalence and popularity these days among the trans community.
I have many of the fears and concerns that you have with my forehead and hairline. I hate windy days, I often wear caps to hide my forehead. I obsess over using my hair to try to hide it all, but then I get resentful of the fact that I can't be more free and relaxed with my hair. Like tieing it back, wearing it up, or any of that. So I avoid certain situations, like getting it wet out in public, or open top cars, or anything like that.

Except for the dates being a bit different, I feel like I could have written these words myself!  I once heard that keeping a secret exacts a psychological toll. I think that having to stress over hiding part of our face all the time is very stressful.

Quote from: V on August 19, 2016, 02:45:32 AM
I have concerns about getting FFS though.
I agonised over discussing it with my partner, and when I finally did, we fell out badly over it, because he couldn't see what I see, and hence is adamant I don't need it. Plus he's terrified of the risks I'd be taking if it went wrong. Plus, as I live in stealth, I don't want big changes because that would raise questions from people who only know me as a woman. I don't want to 'out' myself through having FFS.

That is a very valid concern. With very casual friends / acquaintances who don't see me that often anyway, I will probably say "I had some work done." With closer friends, I'm thinking that it may be an opportunity to open up and tell them the truth. I definitely understand how you may not want to do that. You're one of the girls. Why out yourself as a trans-woman? It's a hard choice. I've decided that with a couple of friends that we will never be closer if I'm never willing to share my past with them.

Quote from: V on August 19, 2016, 02:45:32 AM
I also know my parents would not be happy at all if they knew what I was considering.
It's a very difficult decision really, but I am so tired of accepting the appearance compromise and daily worry over my hair not hiding my forehead bone issues.
I have booked an appointment to go and see Facial Team in Spain, in January, and my partner has reluctantly agreed to accompany me. But with all the hints he's been dropping about money, I'm not sure if he's just coming along to stop me agreeing to expensive surgery. Even though I will have saved up the necessary money beforehand.
I wish I had a daughter who was supportive, but I just know, like everything else I've done, I'm going to have to force the issue against the opinions of those around me.
I wish you well with your FFS adventure.

That's really hard. It sounds very much like transition all over again. Like swimming against the current. I'm sure that you'll make the right decision. All I can say is that it's your life, your body, your money and your identity. It is good to have the support and understanding of those around you, but in the end it comes down to a very personal choice, because you have to look at yourself each day and believe that it reflects who you are.

I'm not expert at this, but I don't know if doing this in stages would make the change more gradual to observers and less of a shock to people? It seems like it would be more expensive in the end.  Just a thought.

Hugs,
Rhonda

Quote from: Rhonda Lynn on August 19, 2016, 10:43:56 AM
Here are a few images of me now with no makeup at all!



Here is pretty much my every look.



I'm curious if you all think that after 26 years of HRT whether you are all seeing M or F or androgynous especially with the no-makeup pics. I honestly can't tell. You can be honest - just don't call me an old hag or something.  Maybe people see my face and neither gender jumps out so clearly that they rely on other gender clues like hair, clothes, breasts, jewelry and so they sub-consciously decide female.

Hi Rhonda, so nice to chat with you 
OK my brutally honest opinion... I can only see a woman. And today while visiting a supplier at work, there was another trans person there, and I spotted her immediately. I think most trans folk are especially 'tuned in' to looking for very specific and very subtle signs. Scrutinising your photos, there's the tiniest hint of an Adam's Apple, but seriously, your forehead and hairline look fine to me. No real hint of a past life with testosterone.
Looking at myself in the mirror, my hairline has receded much more at the sides than yours, and I have central 'brow-bossing' that I cannot see at all on your forehead. My Adam's Apple is much more prominent as well.
There, that's my honest opinion.
However, I'm not going to be as trite as to suggest you don't need FFS. It's your own personal decision, and if you feel you need it, then that is your decision.
I would ask though, are you trying to get opinions from folk on here to assist you with your FFS decision?

Quote from: Rhonda Lynn on August 19, 2016, 11:24:17 AM
Except for the dates being a bit different, I feel like I could have written these words myself!  I once heard that keeping a secret exacts a psychological toll. I think that having to stress over hiding part of our face all the time is very stressful.

That is a very valid concern. With very casual friends / acquaintances who don't see me that often anyway, I will probably say "I had some work done." With closer friends, I'm thinking that it may be an opportunity to open up and tell them the truth. I definitely understand how you may not want to do that. You're one of the girls. Why out yourself as a trans-woman? It's a hard choice. I've decided that with a couple of friends that we will never be closer if I'm never willing to share my past with them.

That's really hard. It sounds very much like transition all over again. Like swimming against the current. I'm sure that you'll make the right decision. All I can say is that it's your life, your body, your money and your identity. It is good to have the support and understanding of those around you, but in the end it comes down to a very personal choice, because you have to look at yourself each day and believe that it reflects who you are.

I'm not expert at this, but I don't know if doing this in stages would make the change more gradual to observers and less of a shock to people? It seems like it would be more expensive in the end.  Just a thought.

Hugs,
Rhonda

Now you say it, yes I do agree that keeping secrets does exact a toll from oneself. Especially ones so personal, and yet we feel are visible to others, even if they don't see them. It does take it's toll, for sure.

Really, it's only my boyfriend's family who I wouldn't want to find out about me. Especially as we plan on getting married in the next few years. They are very trans-phobic, and religious, it would be a disaster if they found out. Anyone else, well I couldn't care less really.
In the grand scheme of FFS operations, I'm not exactly considering a lot. I'm looking at:
- Tracheal shave (I can't see that as having any risk of outing me TBH).
- Central forehead brow-bossing removed, and eyebrows raised ever so slightly (It's this I'm most worried about).
- Upper eyelid fat removal (I think it's called an upper blepharoplasty) and plenty of cis-women have it done, so I can just say I've had a facelift.
- Strip of scalp at the crown removed as part of the brow-bone shaving procedure, and harvested for hair follicles which would then be transplanted into my temples. Not sure if I could simply hide this under my normal hair or say it's part of my facelift?
That's it.
I'm hoping that the above won't be too obvious, and I plan to have 4 weeks off once I get back home to recover, and hope it all settles down before I venture outside again. I'm also hoping that I can just say to my girlfriends that I've had a facelift, and whilst I expect they won't understand my vanity, hopefully they won't come to the conclusion I'm trans.

Yep, most of my life has felt like I'm swimming against the current. I guess that's just my lot in life. But it does take a lot of willpower and determination, or "selfishness" as my mother occasionally cruelly calls it.
As you say, it's a very personal choice, and I will have to live with the consequences if anything goes wrong. But then again, I live with the imperfections that I see every day, and that takes it's toll as we know as well.
I'm actually worried about two things going wrong:
- Any swelling that causes asymmetry and gives my face a very odd look that I won't be able to explain away or live with.
- Bone regrowth of the shaved area on my forehead, which at least one board member here has had, meaning she's had to go for a second complete FFS procedure to try to resolve it. I really don't want that to happen.
With looking at what I want, yes, I could have the tracheal shave done at a different time, and also the upper blepharoplasty. But the brow shaving will need to be combined with the hair transplants, otherwise I'd lose the hair follicles that are on the strip of scalp which is removed. And of course the cost goes up considerably. I'm pretty sure the FFS surgeons would suggest having it all done at the same time as well.

I'm trying to keep an open mind, and explore all options when I go to see them in January.

I hope you let us know on here what your eventual decision is as well. It will certainly help me to make mine.

Take care,

V.

I'm going to snip a lot of the message so that folks don't have to re-read the same text. I hope that this works
and people can just scroll up if they want to see the whole original text again.

Quote from: V on August 19, 2016, 06:59:26 PM
Hi Rhonda, so nice to chat with you 
OK my brutally honest opinion... I can only see a woman. And today while visiting a supplier at work, there was another trans person there, and I spotted her immediately. I think most trans folk are especially 'tuned in' to looking for very specific and very subtle signs. Scrutinising your photos, there's the tiniest hint of an Adam's Apple, but seriously, your forehead and hairline look fine to me.
[...]
I would ask though, are you trying to get opinions from folk on here to assist you with your FFS decision?

Thank you for your honest opinion. It is really helpful. Your observations on specifics are also helpful. I'm expecting surgeons to recommend different procedures and I'll rely on that heavily, but it's good to have other opinions on what does and does not stand out.

Since studying the feminine scale M5 - GN - F5 scale and http://www.virtualffs.co.uk/My_Facial_Feminisation_Thesis_Part_8_How_Feminine_is_Feminine_Enough.html that Ruby posted in her thread, I think that I'm somewhere in the gender neutral plus or minus a point. Before I studied it I was thinking "I look like a boy without my make-up."

However, oddly enough, even if I'm already GN, my resolve to go for some changes is actually getting stronger. What it's doing is making me feel more optimistic that I might expect a better end result. If before I was thinking that I was going to go from having a masculine bone structure to getting to neutral (which, of course I would have done), now I'm hoping to go from neutral to decidedly feminine ~F2 or so. That is exciting for me to think about because that would feel so much more like a match to how think of myself. I'm not an androgynous person, I'm a girl and I want my face to unambiguously reflect that.

Perhaps it's like, I'm running a marathon and I thought I was 10 miles from the goal, but it's only 5 miles away! Now I want to run faster, not to slow down!

Quote from: V on August 19, 2016, 06:59:26 PM
[...]

In the grand scheme of FFS operations, I'm not exactly considering a lot. I'm looking at:

[...]

I'm also hoping that I can just say to my girlfriends that I've had a facelift, and whilst I expect they won't understand my vanity, hopefully they won't come to the conclusion I'm trans.

You know, I think people see what they expect to see. If you tell them that you got a facelift, they'll probably think, "Wow, she looks good! That is is the best facelift I have ever seen in my entire life!" I mean, I didn't know about FFS until a few years ago, but we're not the general public. People can't guess at an explanation if they have little knowledge or experience of it.

You might be asked who your surgeon is because they will be ready for a facelift of their own!

OTOH, I do sympathize and understand that the last thing that you want is one more deception that always leads to another. So, there is a trade-off there and I don't want to dismiss that.

Quote from: V on August 19, 2016, 06:59:26 PM

Yep, most of my life has felt like I'm swimming against the current. I guess that's just my lot in life. But it does take a lot of willpower and determination, or "selfishness" as my mother occasionally cruelly calls it.

[...]

No love is possible without self-love. Whatever you decide, I hope that you will choose what makes you the most happy.

Good luck on your consultation. If you decide to share your experience I hope that you'll let me know so that I can follow it. However, if you decide to keep it private, I completely understand.

Hugs,
Rhonda

HI Rhonda!!!

After my involvement with changing my own face, I find myself acutely aware of facial structure as I pass through public each day... in your photos,  I see predominantly female features with a few that are more androgynous thrown in! Nothing that barks male. Androgynous features are easily flipped to being perceived as female when the other aspects of female presentation are thrown in!!!

I think you should proceed with whatever makes you happy without regard for what you fear others may infer from you having "work" done... Women our age have things done all the time and if they have not read you yet... They ain't gonna sister!!!

Proceed with what pleases YOU!!!

Hugs!!!

Ashley

Have received quotes back from PAI (Bangkok) and Dr. Rossi (Buenos Aires).

Quote from PAI came back very rapidly, but it did not have a lot of detail.

With Dr. Rossi's office, a few emails have gone back and forth with Amanda - who is a gem. The communication is really quite incredible. I very much like how they asked me what I'm trying to accomplish, etc. When I received the quote and description back from Dr. Rossi's office, my input was very much incorporated into their proposal. For example, I mentioned that I wanted to "... avoid the look of Beverly Hills women that have had too much plastic surgery..." yes, I say things like that..   

They used my phrase back at me and said that Dr. Rossi strives for a natural look. So I am getting a very good feeling that I was really listened to. That I am being treated as a person, not just a body. This is feeling like a really good fit for me.

I also liked the detail in the proposal. Every procedure was described along with an explanation as to why each procedure was recommended. As expected, there were a set of main recommendations and a few options. I have not heard back from Dr. Cardenas yet, but at this point, to be honest, I think I have decided. I am feeling really good about Dr. Rossi.

I don't want to unfairly say anything negative about PAI because they are surely top surgeons, I will only say why I didn't choose them. For one, the cost was very close to the same. Both PAI and Dr. Rossi are what I consider affordable. All told I will be just over $20k after travel and even including some $$ for hair transplants.

The big difference for me was communication. Being in opposite time zones makes Thailand difficult. Neither me nor they made a big effort to bridge the communication gap. Perhaps if I had been able to converse with the PAI surgeons it would have been equal.

Dr. Rossi proposes to do the following

•   Forehead reconstruction (type III)
•   Hairline correction
•   Brow lift
•   Secondary rhinoplasty (see below)
•   Upper lip lift (to make it vertically shorter and get more exposition of the upper teeth) (*)
•   Chin reduction in height and width
•   Jaw feminization (tapering from chin to rear corners)

Optional, which I'm doing is fat injection to the lips and
blepharoplasty if needed when he looks at me

They explained in great detail that they need to move my glabella (the forehead area between the eyebrows) about 8-10 mm back! Which is a lot. I'm still in a bit of shock about that. I keep saying to myself that they are going to take my head apart and put it back together.

They said that my nose looks very feminine, but after they move my forehead back, they will have to adjust the nose or else the nose will appear too long.

The most complex option is the facelift/necklift which they did recommend. They explained in very great detail that I should do it, but that I could do it at the time of FFS or a few months later. Since they are removing a lot of bone, it is likely that I am going to end up with some loose skin, so a facelift would be good. It would be cheaper to do it at the same time as the FFS. However, if I wait a few months and do it on a second trip after I've healed, I should expect a better result.

More effort but a better result is what I've decided on. Also, I'm thinking that if there is anything else that needs to be done, I could take care of it in 6-12 months. It just seems unwise to pull my older skin over swollen features before they've healed. I could end up with additional lines and wrinkles.

Took this selfie this morning before we went out for breakfast.



-Rhonda

Quote from: Rhonda Lynn on August 19, 2016, 10:43:56 AM
Here are a few images of me now with no makeup at all!




Here is pretty much my every look.



I'm curious if you all think that after 26 years of HRT whether you are all seeing M or F or androgynous especially with the no-makeup pics. I honestly can't tell. You can be honest - just don't call me an old hag or something.  Maybe people see my face and neither gender jumps out so clearly that they rely on other gender clues like hair, clothes, breasts, jewelry and so they sub-consciously decide female.

At the three pictures where you have no glasses you looks androgynous and it's possible to pass. You have something which reminds me about Caitlyn Jenner. Your nose and eyes looks a bit feminine, something that would make passing easier.


At the picture where you wear glasses you looks like a whole different person. Your nose looks different and more masculine. Your eyes are still feminine. You do still have the possibility to pass, but in my opinion your facial features like the nose are more feminine at the pictures above and you do look a bit younger. But you have a stronger jaw line at the picture above, but a bit rounder face at the picture where you wears glasses. Perhaps because you do smile.

So long story short: I thinks it would be easier to pass with that nose you have at the pictures above than the nose you have where you wear glasses.

Hi Sebby,

Thanks for the feedback! I really like getting a variety of observations.

Sebby, yes, now that you mention it, my nose does look a large in that selfie. Probably having the camera so close doesn't help with the fish-eye effect, though. Maybe I'll try again with a selfie stick.

Quote from: Rhonda Lynn on August 21, 2016, 11:15:47 AM
Hi Sebby,

Thanks for the feedback! I really like getting a variety of observations.

Sebby, yes, now that you mention it, my nose does look a large in that selfie. Probably having the camera so close doesn't help with the fish-eye effect, though. Maybe I'll try again with a selfie stick.

At the three pictures where you have no glasses, you have some feminine facial features and these pictures could be a good post-FFS results. But the picture where you wear glasses could be a pre-FFS picture. Just my observation and thoughts.

Quote from: tgirlamc on August 20, 2016, 08:55:12 PM
HI Rhonda!!!

After my involvement with changing my own face, I find myself acutely aware of facial structure as I pass through public each day... in your photos,  I see predominantly female features with a few that are more androgynous thrown in! Nothing that barks male. Androgynous features are easily flipped to being perceived as female when the other aspects of female presentation are thrown in!!!

I think you should proceed with whatever makes you happy without regard for what you fear others may infer from you having "work" done... Women our age have things done all the time and if they have not read you yet... They ain't gonna sister!!!

Proceed with what pleases YOU!!!

Hugs!!!

Ashley

Hi Ashley,

Thank you for your thoughts and especially your support and encouragement.

I agree with you Ashley. I'm thinking that when they see me after I've "had some work done" that coming up with "She must have had FFS!" will not be what comes to their minds. It's like noticing that it's cloudy and thinking that there must be a volcano somewhere. It's just not something that happens enough that people think of it. That is, unless the person was suspecting me before (which is possible), in which case, it makes no difference.

As it happens, I've been away from most of my friends for a while due to a bicycling accident that has kept me away from tennis for 4 months now. I sprained my wrist very badly and can't play. So this has created an opportunity of sorts. It's a big part of the reason why I'm wanting to do this now. Most of them haven't been around me for a while, so when I reappear in a few months with a different hair style and look, I'm counting on their memory not being perfect. I'm more worried about being so different as to not being recognized immediately. However, it will probably be just as embarrassing for them as it is for me, so when they hear my voice it will be fine.

Hmm... I remember one of the girls at my tennis club going from long hair to a pixie cut. The running joke was, "Who is this new woman at the club." Truly, we all kept doing a double-take. Is that really C___? So, I'll have to figure it out as I go along. Whenever she spoke though, it was "oh yeah!"

I just got off the phone with my sister. We spoke for a long while. Her initial reaction when I wrote to her that I was going to have FFS was "You look fine, are you sure that you want to do this?" I decided that I would try to explain to her about some of my discomfort. For example, when I'm at the salon and my hair gets washed I feel exposed and self-conscious with my hair wet and combed back. Or the idea of showering and having to re-apply makeup after a tennis match, swimming, or exercising at a club. Those are really difficult situations and I avoid them like the plague. I went on for a bit and she then she understood I'm pretty sure. She said "Well, I think you should do whatever it is you need to do to make you happy."

I haven't told my mom yet, but plan to have coffee with her this week.

Hugs,
Rhonda

Quote from: Rhonda Lynn on August 19, 2016, 10:43:56 AM
Here are a few images of me now with no makeup at all!




Here is pretty much my every look.



I'm curious if you all think that after 26 years of HRT whether you are all seeing M or F or androgynous especially with the no-makeup pics. I honestly can't tell. You can be honest - just don't call me an old hag or something.  Maybe people see my face and neither gender jumps out so clearly that they rely on other gender clues like hair, clothes, breasts, jewelry and so they sub-consciously decide female.

I see female without the makeup you're looking pretty good for 57 too
And I think because of that if you do ffs you will take 10 years off
Im 53 and I wish I looked even a tenth as female as you.....needless to say I'm investigating ffs too