Lately since my bottom dysphoria has gotten worse I've been thinking about all the crap I've said in the past about other cis guys and stuff being said, sadly, in US political headlines.  I've started to think perhaps it's even borderline transphobic making reference to a man's genital size as some of us weren't born with a penis and may not have bottom surgery for whatever reason. I'm all about sex positivity but I feel like we live in a super negative hypersexualized world. Where victim blaming still happens, men must be a certain size, people must have "the right plumbing", boxes and labels still serve high importance, and if you don't meet any of the silent yet known standards you're labeled as "less than", "other", or "undesirable". It's just such a crappy feeling to think, if a cis man can't meet expectations due to a smaller penis, how will I ever without one or with a not as sexually functional one?

sometimes when i'm having a bad or insecure day and someone makes some kind of joke about small dicks i feel sort of bad about myself... but on others i don't really think about it

Masculinity and femininity is what's inside you and not what's between your legs. For a male, the sex act may only take a few minutes where as masculinity is what happens the rest of the day. A woman may date a man for weeks or longer before the pants come down so her attraction is to the masculine behavior. This is not me Tarzan you Jane but it's chivalrous behavior that projects masculinity.

Sometimes males may discuss penis size but that tends to be a sign of immaturity and the type of talk a genital man wouldn't engage in. Be proud of what you are and what you can make of yourself because you have the ability to rise above it.

I don't know. I've been thinking about taking up stand-up comedy again - just for a hobby this time, not as a career. And I did a gig this past summer in which I told jokes about penis size, but with reference to myself, making fun of big ones. I even told a 'small hands' joke. I'm not looking to make other trans guys feel bad, or cis guys, for that matter. But laughing about that kind of thing - again, not other peoples', but my own - makes me feel better.

Quote from: WorkingOnThomas on August 19, 2016, 02:15:00 AM
I don't know. I've been thinking about taking up stand-up comedy again - just for a hobby this time, not as a career. And I did a gig this past summer in which I told jokes about penis size, but with reference to myself, making fun of big ones. I even told a 'small hands' joke. I'm not looking to make other trans guys feel bad, or cis guys, for that matter. But laughing about that kind of thing - again, not other peoples', but my own - makes me feel better.

I, too, do a lot of the "self-deprecating" humor. I find it's the only way I can get by sometimes, and it's almost a way to protect myself from other people pointing things out before I can. But yeah, idk if I've just been feeling things more lately (annoying tbh) or what. I do love a good joke though, especially when I've made it about myself and broken a barrier of sorts. I've never been courageous enough to do stand-up but I have a lot of notes, if I were to ever take that chance. Performing is such a rush, but I digress. I think what I don't like about small dick jokes is when it comes from a place of malice and is meant to emotionally harm a person. Man, I really overthink things. I suppose that's why I've been called an hsp and an empath, ugh.

Quote from: Dena on August 19, 2016, 12:53:22 AM
Masculinity and femininity is what's inside you and not what's between your legs. For a male, the sex act may only take a few minutes where as masculinity is what happens the rest of the day. A woman may date a man for weeks or longer before the pants come down so her attraction is to the masculine behavior. This is not me Tarzan you Jane but it's chivalrous behavior that projects masculinity.

Sometimes males may discuss penis size but that tends to be a sign of immaturity and the type of talk a genital man wouldn't engage in. Be proud of what you are and what you can make of yourself because you have the ability to rise above it.

Thank you, I always appreciate your insight. You're quite positive and uplifting which is refreshing since I tend to beat myself up for the smallest of things. I'm grateful to have your wisdom on my posts.

Quote from: groudon18 on August 19, 2016, 12:48:33 AM
sometimes when i'm having a bad or insecure day and someone makes some kind of joke about small dicks i feel sort of bad about myself... but on others i don't really think about it

I think that's probably how it is for me as well. Plus, I have been feeling more dysphoric lately so that hasn't help.

I think the old saying is true..laugh and the world laughs with you,cry and you cry alone,laughing with someone and laughing at someone are two different things.


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I think we just live in this masandrist world whereby to be desirable we're told by the media you have to have a large d*ck and have a six pack. But if you talk to most women they'll tell you that a big d*ck doesn't mean that they'll have a good technique in bed so they'd prefer a guy with a smaller d*ck if it meant he had great technique. Plus most women will tell you they prefer to a guy who might not have a 'perfect' body if that meant they treated them kindly. The stereotype of the six packed full of himself man came from somewhere.

I like to use self deprecating humour myself as it makes me feel better about my bodyand what it lacks. Now I'm on T I'm a lit happier about what I do have. I'm a nice guy and even though I havewhat is considered a small d*ck that doesn't stop me.

Btw; if you're uncomfortable about something it's ok to find it offensive or innapropiate (within reason ofc)

The world will never be without bigotry, one-upmanship or jokes, and people's feelings will always get hurt one way or another. The best way to deal with this is not to rely on external validation as much as possible and find ways to be successful regardless of your limitations. That is the best way to prove you are not inferior.

Quote from: Elis on August 19, 2016, 05:16:44 AM
I think we just live in this masandrist world whereby to be desirable we're told by the media you have to have a large d*ck and have a six pack.

True.

My thought on this is that I didn't escape from unrealistic female standards of beauty just to pick up another set. If I'm a little pudgy, and my penis is small, I really don't care. I used to obsess over what a physical failure I was as a woman (too fat, bad skin, thin hair, saggy boobs - on and on and on) - ain't doing it no more. All I ask at this point is that the moobs be gone. If doing exercise happens to bring me a six pack (lol, unlikely) great. If not, great. If T gives me some miracle growth down below (again, unlikely) great, and if not, that's alright too. Maybe I'll feel different about it in a couple years, but then again, maybe not. Guys with smaller dicks get better head.

I do think small penis jokes are inappropriate. It essentially says that having a small penis is something to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. It's akin to the unrealistic standards that women are held to in terms of being fit and looking great all the time.

I'm very anti-censorship, so I'd never tell someone that they should drop a joke from their repertoire, but I think if someone's comedy routine relies on poking fun of someone else's physical features, it's pretty weak.

Quote from: FTMax on August 19, 2016, 12:02:59 PM
I do think small penis jokes are inappropriate. It essentially says that having a small penis is something to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. It's akin to the unrealistic standards that women are held to in terms of being fit and looking great all the time.

I'm very anti-censorship, so I'd never tell someone that they should drop a joke from their repertoire, but I think if someone's comedy routine relies on poking fun of someone else's physical features, it's pretty weak.

FTMax hit it on the nose. My dad would have taken offense to it. Even told my mom not to laugh at his small one. Do to my being intersex and what was done surgically to make me look the way I do this second down below mine was small but then I never did like what that is anyways. Key is watch the audience. If you have the right audience, I don't seen an issue but the wrong one well might not be the place to do it.

Anyways I hope that helps. Hugs
Mariah

Quote from: Elis on August 19, 2016, 05:16:44 AM
Btw; if you're uncomfortable about something it's ok to find it offensive or innapropiate (within reason ofc)

I think I'm finally, through this and my own internal process, coming to that realization. I shouldn't have to be doubly ashamed. Once for feeling inadequate with my little prick. And secondly for feeling somewhat moderately offended by the jokes/comments.

I should be forthright in saying that this was all sparked after the statues of trump naked showed up in nyc and all over the Internet. It just felt so low and I know I have so many body image problems and dysphoria that I'd never want anyone to see me so vulnerably as a piece to be ridiculed. For me, idc how horrible a person is you don't do that. As someone I admire once said something to the effect of "don't become the oppressor, no matter how long you've been oppressed."

Side note- Thank you all for your comments, they've been much appreciated and I'm starting to really feel like I have a sense of community here on Susan's Place.

To be honest, deflated my original equipment wasn't much larger than what the statue had. Naturally I have spend time in the boys shower and large hardware is an uncommon sight. You have nothing to be ashamed of because what you seen a porn movie may  not be reality.

Ancient Greek statues with "heroic nudity" always showed a small, uncut quiescent penis. A large, erect penis was the stuff of satire--satyrs on drinking vessels, usually shown getting foiled in their sexual escapades (generally the other party is non consenting). It was normal for men in that culture to be naked around each other for athletics or bathing and they thought it was unseemly to "show" too much. (Jews were also under a lot of social pressure to attempt to reverse their circumcisions.)

It's interesting how Western culture got to this place where a man is supposed to look like a porn star naked. Maybe it was those fecking Irish--Teutatis, the bloodthirsty Celtic version of Zeus, depicted with a rampant erection. (I am Irish)

Quote from: AnxietyDisord3r on August 20, 2016, 04:20:18 AM
Ancient Greek statues with "heroic nudity" always showed a small, uncut quiescent penis. A large, erect penis was the stuff of satire--satyrs on drinking vessels, usually shown getting foiled in their sexual escapades (generally the other party is non consenting). It was normal for men in that culture to be naked around each other for athletics or bathing and they thought it was unseemly to "show" too much. (Jews were also under a lot of social pressure to attempt to reverse their circumcisions.)

It's interesting how Western culture got to this place where a man is supposed to look like a porn star naked. Maybe it was those fecking Irish--Teutatis, the bloodthirsty Celtic version of Zeus, depicted with a rampant erection. (I am Irish)

Yeah, I've read a few articles on this. It's pretty interesting. They had a lot more meaning behind their sculptures with their mythology, I think. Where as today it just seems rooted in hate and anger. But I would say both were forms of body shaming, as they believed men with larger genitals were foolish and unintelligent.