Could be something about speaking 'too relaxed'.  Doing that is still a it low (nothing like it was before, though) and is somehow more stressful than adding some tension.

OK, here is my month four recording.  I did another one after this and it was 215 Hz instead of 220 something, so who knows what I'm doing.   I'll send the slightly lower Hz one across to Dr. Kim, though.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s13ARWNcaxVM

My volume is pretty good now - although it does take more effort than before.  At least I've been able to do interviews with no problem, speak on conference calls, and be heard just fine in meetings.

I'll just monitor this thread via email alerts now as I'm very busy in real life.  The next audio update will be in two months... any questions do reply here and I'll respond, though.

Response from Dr. Kim in regards to my month four recording:

Quote
Your pitch-increasing process is going well but it's yet to be stabilized more so you should focus more on the resonance training to fully use the female resonance. Voice volume will improve by time. You don't need to take further medication.

Not sure how to focus on female resonance, as even the voice therapist didn't have any suggestions.  Still, progressing fine I guess. It's also good to not need to take the clonazepam.

I think for Dr Kim the "resonance training" is the ng-ah and meaoung exercises. If done properly, they should focus the resonance in the front of the mouth, they should improve projection and you are supposed to really open your jaw with the jaw-muscles for them, loosening the jaw muscles and not using throat muscles for speaking at all if possible. All of this should improve "resonance".

Not sure why resonance gets worse after vfs and needs so much training. I think the newly created folds don't work well with the preop straining technique as it creates an even more masculine resonance. Those of us who had a decent trained voice preop know what im talking about.

I think its both - most of us lack proper resonance training before and have used some technique to shift the voice towards female in some way or another - usually probably by force. And this does not work anymore post OP. Also the voice just generally works differently. So one has to basically re-learn how to properly use the voice and learn for the first time to use resonance in a way that is really female and not forced into female sounding patterns, if that makes sense

True comments from both of you...

Well, I honestly have no idea what to do.  My voice therapist had no idea, Yeson's email didn't explain it much, either.  Next Friday I do have an appointment with some speech centre (referral from my last useless ENT) - perhaps they can help.  I don't think my voice sounds bad or anything, though, and is mostly better than before...even though I did pass fine before.

Resonance is a big factor in achieving a NATURALLY feminine voice! Certain exercises can help, however they take several months to start producing results. Your voice doesn't sound croaky or broken so, in my opinion, you don't need clonazepam (not yet anyway).

At some point one has to say its enough, as well. If your voice passes all the time and it is not strained or sounding broken, its up to you to improve it or not. My SLT last week told me, that of course I can improve my voice - there is always something to improve, but its not really a must, because I have no more bigger issues and my voice is not gendered male, so I will take a break from SLT for a while

True Anja; however, we are are worst critic when it comes to judging aspects of our femininity. I personally think my voice is feminine; however, I would like to work and bit more on resonance. It's about learning a totally new way of speaking!

True comments above.

I'm mostly happy with my  voice.  I mean, we're all our worst critics anyway, and it worked fine before and seems to work fine now.  Still, if I ever find a speech therapist who is familiar with trans stuff I might see if they have any suggestions.

Also, I'm doing something stupid around people.  At the end of a work day, my voice is just knackered and I don't think I'm speaking that much.  However, I've had interviews and other situations where I spoke tons with people I don't know and did not end up with a super tired voice at the end of the day.  So, definitely some unconscious habits involved somewhere.

I think one can always improve something about the voice

Old habits are really annoying, but I am not so sure SLT can help with much more than maybe recognizing them - they will have to go away by always watching them and avoiding them if one falls into them. For example if I argue with a friend, my voice tends to get lower and louder, this is not good for my voice...

My SLT did mostly non trans related stuff with me post OP - so basically it seems that one doe snot realla always need a trans specialist post OP to improve the voice. We just mainly did voice health exercises - in a way, when I use my voice ow properly without hurting or distorting it, its female anyways, so no need to feminize it now. Just to not misuse it again.

The same may be true for resonance - it may be that it is less about forcing the resonance into a female resonance pattern now, but basically to just get resonance at all, or rather projection and loudness - the male way of getting this does not work properly anymore, it hurts and sounds weak and broken, so one basically again just has to learn to use the voice in the way it works now.

Thanks, Anja - all very helpful.  

I've started getting sore throat when speaking lately. This hasn't been the cast for the past two months... it's not botox related is it?  Recording my voice it doesn't seem like I'm pushing it higher than usual or anything, so I'm not quite sure why I get sore throats now.

I guess the sore throats were just random as it's not happened for a few days.  However, I do think caffeinated drinks make it worse so I avoid them for the most part.  Or, it's all psychosomatic, who knows!

See the SLT tomorrow, but I found out she doesn't have the kit to look at my vocal cords.  So far the NHS has been an absolute shower!  Hopefully I can ask her to refer me... Still, it will be nice to see an SLT, but not sure what to talk to her about.

The NHS has always been.a shower. If you want a good service, you'll need to go private. There is a good ENT specialist (who also does vfs) in Harley Street, Central London. He is very skilled; however, his prices are quite dear. Christella Antoni, who iw a SLT speciacised trans voices is another option. She charges over 100 pounds/ session.

Well, it's been a bit more than five months now.   I can't tell a huge difference in the last month, although my coworkers claim I'm sounding even better. However, I am still using my speaking muscles weird sometimes as I will feel strained after talking.  This mainly happens after work and does not happen when out and about or at home.

In terms of loudness, when I'm not doing 'something weird' as mentioned earlier I can get very loud too.

In terms of pitch increase, I'm only at 40-50Hz, however.

Sounds very very similar to me - Pitch increase is 50 Hz and when I am falling into bad habits I use my voice in the wrong way and then I get strained...

I just listened to your recording. Your pitch sounds nice not sure where it is but sounds like middle of the female range somewhere. It's the resonance that is just slightly off. In my eyes (or ears) resonance is what gives both females and males voices a sex appeal and smoothness. I can hear you're speaking from your throat, maybe not your chest, but you're not speaking from your head (mouth) The sound has to project from high up near the front of your mouth (it "resonates' there if you will, you should almost feel it echoing near the roof of your mouth. If you ever notice sometimes some women, usually heavy set women due to being bigger, project from further back to aid with breathing and due to larger size, hence you often can tell it's a larger woman it's their resonance that is different, not the pitch... I don't know if I'm making any sense but I am seeing so many people having a hard time with this. I wish I could explain it better... I didn't have any official training but it's just something I don't have a hard time with. A voice coach would have to be knowledgeable in the difference in muscles used by men and women in speaking . Men are lazy speakers and thats why they tend to speak from their chest. Women are expressive speakers. So that's why we speak from our heads because we can modulate better make more sounds go higher and lower at will. If your voice comes from further inside you you can't do any of those... Your entonation is something you've obviously been working on tho, which is good. You sound like a heavy lady to me, because of where your resonance comes from but you sound like a female no question !! I hope my post makes some sense.  Congrats!

I think many of us are a bit on the heavier or bigger side, so it makes sense that resonance matches that, but ideally one should get it changed. My issue with it is, that a pure mouth resonance is a bit low in volume, so people tend to ask to repeat myself - more loudness requires more vibrations coming from the throat. Also something I notice is that because speaking from the mouth is not "lazy", it also means that it needs muscle tension more - and this can easily go wrong and then the voice gets strained by forcing it too much. Its not so easy to find the middle way between being lazy and relaxed and expressive but strained - this is what IMO takes the most time in VFS recovery - to figure out the best resonance to match the new voice and not be too lazy and fall down in pitch and resonance - and not be too tight and forced and strain the voice.

Thanks for the comments.   I'm definitely not heavy - I'm tall and skinny.  I did have better resonance before all of this, it's something I now struggle with...  However, I do pass 100% anyway (and did before), so it's just more of a voice quality thing I think. 

I know how to do the speaking like Cali says, I guess I just hoped to not have to do anything and 'just speak'?  But, the surgery only alters pitch of course!  All my my recordings here are not trying to do the proper resonance. I find that when I get the resonance right I'm also raising the pitch, which I shouldn't be doing now.