I need some advice, for the past few months i have been very confused about my gender. I really want to be a boy, im not sure if this makes me trans it just seems so farfetched how could i be transgender.I want to be a boy and be seen as one but iv always known myself as female, iv had the passing thought a few times over the years like am i trans but then i just dismissed it but this time it came into my head it won't leave no matter what i do. I thought of it and then part of me went dude i think you are but another part went you cant be a boy your a girl you've been a girl for 16 years of your life but the more i think about it the more confused and more sure i get i look back at my childhood and things that i didn't think were connected are piecing together but i cant shake the thought of i cant be but i cant find any reasons why it must be false besides iv always been a girl.

It has been on my mind 24/7 for months and im still confused. I see my school councillor and she said she sees no signs that this is the wrong path for me.

I have wanted to be a boy for years, it started as a casual 'i wish i was a guy' and the older i have gotten the more instant the thought has become, now im jealous of cis guys FTMs and all other male identifying individuals, i have dysphoria about my chest i always saw my boobs as useless lumps of fat and the older i get and the more i think about me being trans the more uncomfortable i become with them sometimes i cant touch them without feeling nauseous, if i can feel them there i dont like it. the thought of having sex as female makes me uncomfortable and disappointed and i hate being 'girly' there is nothing feminine about me besides my body, i never fit in as girl, i hate dresses they just seem 'wrong' when i see myself in them. i have experimented with my gender since questioning i have bound my chest, packed, been more masculine, none of this seems wrong the more i do it more i want to do it more and all the time, i hate being called lady and woman and i hate when people say you will make a good wife, and the thought of being pregnant and giving birth to a kid makes me feel wrong and uncomfortable.

since i have started thinking i might be trans my dysphoria has gotten so much worse i didn't used to get genital dysphoria but now i do coz i realise that i will never actually be fully male no matter who much i try or want it i will never be 100% biologically male i dont want to be trans i just want to be a cis guy.i used to be fine with people saying she/ her but now it just pisses me off and i like getting mistaken as a boy or if some says u look like a boy i feel happy and proud but im only realising this now. every time i start to think of myself as male or think maybe i am trans and maybe i am a boy i think about my body and the way people see me and i realise that im a girl, i feel like im just faking it in some way like i have somehow convinced myself to feel a certain way.

Sorry this is so long im just really confused. i want to accept it but i cant its gotten to the point where i just want it to go away i just want to stop feeling like this but a part of me is holding onto it and i think i would be disappointed if i wasn't trans, i came out to my mum the other day but im still scared, what if im wrong what if im not trans. sorry this is so long why cant i accept it?

What if wrong? what do I do? If im not trans why else would i feel like this?

You got your answer on your last sentence. Cis people don't question their assigned gender; only trans people do that. And if you're wrong (which is extremely unlikely) at least you're not constantly thinking 'what if'. Which drove me mad for 3 or so years until I hit the wall and felt I couldn't continue any longer; so decided to take T. All the points you've made are key indicators of you being trans. Is there any way you can talk to a gender therapist or go to a trans support group?

Even if you are wrong about it, what's wrong with experimenting? As long as you don't jump into HRT, there's nothing bad about being wrong about this. Going to a therapist can help you figure things out, and I can't say 100%, but it sounds to me that you very likely could be trans.
~David 

My general rule of thumb is if you think you are trans, you are. Cis people don't think about being trans. Sometimes maybe think they are glad they aren't "one of those..."

The real trick is sorting out where in the spectrum between cis-female and cis male you are. Where that is often shifts. So it's perfectly OK slip one way or the other. Everyone's dysphoria is unique to them with similarities to others.

A gender therapist or TG support group is a good way to help sort things out. Many/some(?) PFLAG groups tend to have a fairly decent trans-youth outreach.

As to "What if I'm Wrong?"  The answer as to what to do is a lot easier then if you are right. You just be you without having to deal with being trans.

I wouldn't worry about the "what if I'm wrong"; even if you were 100% sure, you'd still be a year or few away from any permanent surgery.   I'm also still in the camp that no cis-A will tolerate the addition of the trans-B version of HRT; at least not willingly for long; so even if you're wrong and start HRT, it'll likely give you a "dang, this is terrible." reaction long before you grow large biceps!  lol.

So, find a gender therapist, say, "I dunno, but somethings weird", and proceed from there.

alec,

Welcome to the site. You are at a pretty good age to be exploring this. The school counselor is a good place to start. As some others have mentioned, going to a gender therapist is very helpful in trying to work your way through the confusion.

Usually Cis people wonder what it would be like to be the other sex. However, it is pretty rare that they think they might be trans.

Glad you found us here. There are a lot of younger members here. I hope the path is not too hard for you. Experiment, ask questions, don't give up. It is a long path but if you are trans, it is worth exploring what that means and what you can do about it.

Do your parents support this? If so, they can be part of your support network.

I also want to share some links with you. They are mostly welcome information and the rules that govern the site. If you have not had a chance to look through them, please take a moment:

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy

Once again, welcome to Susan's. Look around, ask questions and join in.

With warmth,

Joanna