Okay, RedheadWhovian (whose name I love) started a thread that made me question similar things. I don't want to hijack her post, and from what I could tell from all of the comments, it is more of a MTF thing?

I am going to sound like a creep I am afraid, so this is going to be hard to ask. Umm, for FTM's, pre and otherwise, did/do you ever find yourself looking at/reading/watching/etc sexual themed... things, wishing you were the man in that? Or one of then men if it is M/M? Is it normal to have the urge to watch/read/etc?

I never thought about this being something I should ask until I saw RedheadWhovian's thread. Now I am questioning it myself. Since I was like, twelve years old, I've had the urge to watch that kind of stuff, and always put myself as the male, wishing I could be that. When I was fifteen it shifted to just M/M and has stayed that way all my life. I want to watch it, write it, read it, etc, and be it, yes. So... normal? Or am I just weird?

If you identify as male and are attracted to other males then I think there is nothing surprising about this. When it comes to sex there isn't really any "normal". Even less so when considering sexual fantasies. I'm non binary AMAB and like women so I suppose it isn't me you are asking. but FWIW you sound like a pretty normal guy to me.

Hugs
B

I'm bisexual so I would have expected that I would have appreciated both M/F and M/M porn.

However, I didn't - whenever I saw straight porn I either became dysphoric at the sight of the female, or HAD to imagine myself as the male to continue watching. I did not have this issue at all when it came to M/M material.

I concluded although female bodies are equally attractive to some part of my brain, perhaps even more so than male bodies, my own dysphoria manifests immediately when I see one naked. It's really not a pleasant situation, to be simultaneously aroused and repelled by something. As a result I tended to avoid straight porn, and to some degree porn in general. I think there was a point at which I sought out different types to see if they all gave me the same unpleasant feeling, these days I really don't have much of a use for it, but I have noticed the further down the transition road I go, the less hostile some part of my psyche is to the sight of female bodies. The further I get from female, the more comfortable and less dysphoric I become with female bodies being displayed.

Quote from: Trent X on August 31, 2016, 01:09:59 PM
Or am I just weird?

if you are then a whole lot of the rest of us are too.  My porn experience was identical, except in the other direction.  I think that it often is the only release we get into the desired reality.

I never though I would have to answer the same question on two different threads but here it goes. A sex drive is normal but what we feel as MTF is off the scale and it's pretty constant all day unless we can distract ourself from it. Should you ever start taking T, you will discover the difference in sex drive that the genders experience. The difference is with your male brain, you will be comfortable with these heightened feelings where as we desire an escape from them with our female brain. To us, we often view these feeling as a fetish because our lack of control over them and the fact we feel they are unnatural.

The fact that you were comfortable with the feelings until you saw the thread just means you have a normal male interest in sex. As long a you are comfortable with these feelings, there is nothing wrong with you.

OMG! It is good to be able to talk about this. I, over the years, have looked at a LOT of porn. Gay, strait, trans, you name it. I was confused for a long time, but realize now I also always had to put my self in the female or bottom role to climax. I like what Dena said about the drive being constant without distraction. That is my experience too. Now that I am out I have noticed that I look at it a lot less. I have found that the more I talk about my feelings about all of this, I have a very supportive group I see daily, the more normal it feels and the less strange I feel.

Quote from: Trent X on August 31, 2016, 01:09:59 PM
Okay, RedheadWhovian (whose name I love) started a thread that made me question similar things. I don't want to hijack her post, and from what I could tell from all of the comments, it is more of a MTF thing?

I am going to sound like a creep I am afraid, so this is going to be hard to ask. Umm, for FTM's, pre and otherwise, did/do you ever find yourself looking at/reading/watching/etc sexual themed... things, wishing you were the man in that? Or one of then men if it is M/M? Is it normal to have the urge to watch/read/etc?

I never thought about this being something I should ask until I saw RedheadWhovian's thread. Now I am questioning it myself. Since I was like, twelve years old, I've had the urge to watch that kind of stuff, and always put myself as the male, wishing I could be that. When I was fifteen it shifted to just M/M and has stayed that way all my life. I want to watch it, write it, read it, etc, and be it, yes. So... normal? Or am I just weird?

If you're weird, I am just as strange. I like M/M erotic/romantic materials and also perceive/imagine myself as one or the other of the male participants.

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I feel like any trans people with sexual desires feel this way. I have and it's a pretty common thing and I feel probably definitely helps you determine your identity

It's probably weirder for straight guys to watch lesbian porn than it is to imagine yourself with the desired image and body you strive for

I have, and I do. Although my tastes seem to changing lately. I always wanted to the guy, any guy, now I want to be the guy that's on the smaller side of things down below. I don't know, feels more natural to me? Or achievable? No idea.

When I was involved in writing/reading M/M slash fanfiction (back when dinosaurs roamed the earth), there were a number of FTMs in the fandom. I couldn't bear het stuff before I transitioned because it made me feel too dysphoric, but with M/M there were no women involved. I'm attracted to women not men so visuals (including porn) turned me off, but I was really into the written stuff.

I'm the same way, but even though I consider myself bisexual, I pretty much avoided het stuff because it made me too dysphoric. I've been heavily involved in several fandoms through the years, and I only ever wrote general or slash, and I cringed when I had to even sort through het stories for fandom sites I helped run. It was easier to picture myself as a male when there's no female body making me dysphoric. It doesn't seem to bother me as much since I started T though.

I never watched or read anything on the pornographic side, but I've read M/M romance stories when I was young. I write stories in the same vein as well.

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You guys are so awesome and helpful!

I felt so weird asking this question. lol

I actually, have really...liked M/M anything for YEARS. As I got older I tried to distance myself from it, because I thought that then boyfriends and now husband would find it strange. Husband probably does find it strange. He doesn't know that I actually (not that often) look up M/M porn. I mostly just write M/M relationships with a friend of mine and read stories of the M/M variety, and always do the M/M relationships if they available in video games.

It wasn't until a few years ago that I started realizing how much I wished that I could be one of those men. I ignored that feeling until recently. It was when I started questioning if I was trans or not actually. I thought that I just had a fetish, like I know there are quite a few cis hetero and bisexual women out there that like the sight of two men together. I have to wonder though, is that all it is with me? I don't think those women want to be one of the men involved. I don't know for fact, I have never asked.

I think that if my want isn't the norm, then it definitely backs up my thoughts on being trans.

I hope that made sense.

M/m is very popular now. There are whole publishing houses that do nothing but m/m lit right now--teen romance, genre, etc.

The more relevant question for you is are you feeling dysphoria, for example social dysphoria when people call you "ma'am" or "she" or body dysphoria, discomfort with your sexed body. Dysphoria can also come in the guise of a persistent low level depression or cognitive symptoms like brain fog and anxiety. Obsessing over the idea of a sex change can also be a sign that you are trans as well.

Quote from: Trent X on September 01, 2016, 10:45:27 AM
You guys are so awesome and helpful!

I felt so weird asking this question. lol

I actually, have really...liked M/M anything for YEARS. As I got older I tried to distance myself from it, because I thought that then boyfriends and now husband would find it strange. Husband probably does find it strange. He doesn't know that I actually (not that often) look up M/M porn. I mostly just write M/M relationships with a friend of mine and read stories of the M/M variety, and always do the M/M relationships if they available in video games.

It wasn't until a few years ago that I started realizing how much I wished that I could be one of those men. I ignored that feeling until recently. It was when I started questioning if I was trans or not actually. I thought that I just had a fetish, like I know there are quite a few cis hetero and bisexual women out there that like the sight of two men together. I have to wonder though, is that all it is with me? I don't think those women want to be one of the men involved. I don't know for fact, I have never asked.

I think that if my want isn't the norm, then it definitely backs up my thoughts on being trans.

I hope that made sense.

Really interesting thread and cheers for starting it! For me, this whole topic of sex and attraction is where I realised my subconscious was way smarter than my conscious mind. And writing too! I'll try to explain...

I've been an avid writer for about twenty-five years, going strong since I was about 12-13. During my teen years I wrote all sorts of stories with a friend (and we still do!)... I always was the one who wrote more male characters, because they made sense to me. It was natural. And some of those male characters were in gay relationships. I've never written lesbian characters, but some bi / hetero couples too. I never questioned this until this year, if you can believe it. It was a powerful realisation to me about the gender I identify with the most... has been written in years of notebooks and posts. Amazing.

As for porn, I was definitely more interested in the men. I was turned off by the women. Gay porn is where it's at for me. I've always been attracted to men and I doubt that will change for me (I'm pre-T right now), but time will tell.

Other clues... after a serious relationship ended 3-4 years ago, I've been on various dates and things, but I realised the whole experience was making me angry. But it was the attraction thing... yes, online dating etc is hard, but I realised I didn't want to be seen as a woman. But I knew I wasn't a lesbian, and I knew I was attracted to men. I happened on an article written by trans guy earlier in the year and I felt like I'd been kicked in the head as all the pieces that had been floating around came together, as I finally recognised my identity/orientation through these various things.

Quote from: AnxietyDisord3r on September 02, 2016, 04:33:21 AM
The more relevant question for you is are you feeling dysphoria, for example social dysphoria when people call you "ma'am" or "she" or body dysphoria, discomfort with your sexed body. Dysphoria can also come in the guise of a persistent low level depression or cognitive symptoms like brain fog and anxiety. Obsessing over the idea of a sex change can also be a sign that you are trans as well.

I do have dysphoria, with my body. I have never been affected by people using female pronouns, until recently. It wasn't until I started realizing what I was feeling, and it isn't that bad, I just keep thinking how much better it would be to hear male pronouns.

I have heavy dysphoria with my chest, and the idea of slimming down. I am a heavy person right now (started working out so I can get healthy before I fully start transitioning), and due to the heavy I don't really have all the feminine curves, and what not. I don't like the idea of having them, but that is a hurdle I will have to overcome if I
wish to transition

Quote from: Hughie on September 02, 2016, 09:51:54 AM


I've been an avid writer for about twenty-five years, going strong since I was about 12-13. During my teen years I wrote all sorts of stories with a friend (and we still do!)... I always was the one who wrote more male characters, because they made sense to me. It was natural. And some of those male characters were in gay relationships. I've never written lesbian characters, but some bi / hetero couples too. I never questioned this until this year, if you can believe it. It was a powerful realisation to me about the gender I identify with the most... has been written in years of notebooks and posts. Amazing.

.

Yep that was/is me. It just took me a long time to realize that all of my male characters and writings, were basically my subconscious trying to tell me something.

I used the genre as an escape because I always viewed myself and my relationship that way.

I thought my husband would find it weird, but now he's my brainstorming partner for writing.  If I can ever get published I'm gonna have to give him ghost writing credits with all the time he's spent helping me create these stories!

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