Hi. Dunno if anyone remembers, but I'm pretty awkward. So there's that. Second post here, disappeared for a bit because dysphoria, and not wanting to think about it. But that's not too healthy, I suppose. So here goes:

Job applications. Gender and/or sex boxes on said applications. How on earth is one supposed to navigate all that crap? Both technically and emotionally, but heavy emphasis on emotionally. After months of applications and grudgingly checking the female boxes, I just submitted my first one with all male stuff. No mention of being transgender though, as there wasn't a reasonable place to add it, and I'm not sure if I could have brought myself to add it anyway. So yeah, I'm having a mild freak out over it. I'm pre-everything and look like a boy around the age of 12 (I'm actually 25), my first endo appointment isn't until the end of October (I now have a fuller understanding of the waiting game) and my birth name is still my legal name. I don't necessarily want to go in stealth, but I also don't really have the confidence to show up to an interview trans guns a-blazin'. Especially since I ain't got no guns yet, ya feel?

Okay but, jokes aside...
I know I can't pass yet, so the thought of trying to go stealth, especially to an interview, is somewhat terrifying. Just imagining those raised eyebrows and awkwardly dancing around the subject of my gender makes me want to curl up in a blanket and hibernate. To make matters worse, I don't feel super manly (never have) but I currently feel the need to present in a rather masculine fashion just to have the chance of being read as male, so I can't even wear something to an interview that I at least feel confident in. Not that I feel confident in anything these days, but I have a feeling that nudity won't increase my chances of getting hired. (Did I say "jokes aside"? Oops.)
(Side note: I miss my long hair and anxiously await the day I can have both that and a validating sense of self. Anybody else have hair woes like that?)

However, I'm getting to the point where so much as hearing my full name almost makes me want to cry. I almost feel like starting an interview with my gender identity, just to get it out of the way, would help me feel more confident and not have to worry about it for the rest of that interaction. But initiating that conversation with even the closest of people is so anxiety fueling, I can hardly think about it without my throat closing up. Trying to do that with a prospective employer seems basically impossible.

TLDR; how do you guys deal with the dysphoria that can arise from gender and/or sex boxes on job applications, and on the interview itself? Any tips or tricks picked up from experience with something like this? (Also, any other parentheses fans out there?)

Pre-T, I passed about 50-75% of the time depending on the crowd, as long as I didn't speak. My voice was a dead giveaway pre-T. I was looking for new jobs around that time, already had a name picked out, but hadn't legally updated anything yet. I still checked off the male box and used the male name I was intending to legally change mine to on my resume and all my application materials.

When you get to the interview, just be confident about it. I've never mentioned being trans to a potential employer outright. If they have to do any kind of background check or credit check on you, it'll be done by someone in Human Resources or someone outside of the company all together. There will be a form you'd have to fill out to give approval for it, and on that form you would list your legal name and gender (if it's asked for). I usually sent along a note with the paperwork explaining the discrepancy and asked for discretion. Never had any issues with it. Just be yourself, be confident, and be professional in all of your communication.

The only time during the process I get remotely close to coming out is when I inquire about health benefits. I explain that I have a condition that requires quarterly lab work and doctor visits, and that it's important to me to have a very robust health plan to minimize my expenses. No one that I've interviewed with has inquired further than that about what the condition is, and they've all been very happy to either give me a copy of the plan to peruse while I'm in the office or send me an electronic copy to go over.

I had two job offers very early in my transition, and have had more since. I think as long as you're making a smart choice in terms of employer, you're qualified and confident about your skills, and can interview well, nobody will have issues with the fact that you look 12. Just read up on the companies you're applying with and read some articles about interviewing skills if it's been a while since you've interviewed. Practice with a friend if you can. Think about the questions you don't want them to ask, and be sure you can answer them. Nobody in their right mind is going to ask anything related to your age, gender, or how you present yourself in an interview. It would just open them up to legal issues if they didn't hire you and you felt discriminated against.

Good luck! I regularly interview people and make hiring decisions, so if you would like to bounce ideas off me or pick my brain, I'd be happy to give feedback or answer questions.