The Emotional Turmoil Of Learning Your Spouse Is Transgender

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/suzannah-galland/the-emotional-turmoil-of_b_12014444.html?utm_hp_ref=transgender

The Huffington Post/By Suzannah Galland

 09/14/2016 03:56 pm ET | Updated 6 hours ago

Ouch.

Yah.  Ouch indeed.  But there's a real nugget of truth in there.

Tell your spouse.  It will go better than the unpleasant discovery that is always possible.  It may not go well, but it will at least be a controlled burn rather than a flaming explosion.

And for goddesses sake, get your own clothing.  Wearing the spouses stuff will feel like identity theft to them if they catch you.

I told my wife way back when we were dating,the problem we are having right now is I backed off for  9 yrs because if a neighborhood we had moved into and my son was having friends over, the last few yrs has been like starting over again and having to relearn boundaries.

That article is written by someone with a self written bio "internationally acclaimed". I'm sorry if you're not mentioned in Wikipedia, that description is a ridiculous statement of hubris (and any writer worthy of their craft wouldn't mistake publically for the correct publicly).

In impressively purple prose she seems to be relating the experience of a friend and I find her approach to be fairly dripping cis - condescention.

QuoteMany transgender people are unafraid to be honest with their spouses, and will go all out to plan a holistic departure. To those in the transgender community who hide in secret, please, find the courage to communicate with your partner.  It is very important to realize that even though you may find yourself trapped by shame, you risk laying a dirty foot print firmly on your own identity by letting your relationships fall apart due to fear.

For many people who identify as transgender, lesbian or gay, hiding your identity or orientation will make discrimination all the much easier.  The danger of being publically transgender is severe - it has cost many their lives. But with increased awareness comes increased understanding. Take that leap with others who support you and stand with dignity. Those who love you deserve the truth, and you deserve the freedom to be yourself.

Truly spoken as a person who hasn't experienced the "danger of being publically transgender" while feeling the freedom to opine on the subject and prescribe correct choices for trans people.

The author shows her cis bias in the first sentence quoted above assuming that the better and apparently only path for the transitioning partner is to leave the relationship.

Yes, coming out as soon as possible is the best path. When is possible (and safe) can only be judged by the individual.

Right on Sadie. I call it "cis-speak". No less odious than "man-speak" or "white-speak".