Hello, everyone.
On a whim I decided to register here; however I've been here before thanks to a few google searches leading me here.
To start off with, I'm a 29 male residing in Texas. I say I am male, but honestly I've had a lot of uncertainty during a few years now. I'd probably say I've had these kind of feelings about being a female for close to a decade now. Over the years, they haven't been too strong, mainly just small thoughts every now and then, but as time has gone, they've become more constant. I greatly dislike having facial hair as well as any hair on my body aside from my head. I shave my arms and legs every few days because of this. I feel uncomfortable with short hair and so I've always let it grow out. Currently it's about shoulder length. During times of questioning my masculinity I would cut it short, but then start feeling uncomfortable & hating it shortly after. I've never tried cross-dressing, though as a child there were moments where I'd wear my mother's heels. I have thought of attempting it; however I'm insecure about going out to purchase women's clothing for myself. I'd order online, but I do have roommates who regularly check the mail along with myself.
Unfortunately I currently cannot afford to see a therapist, but whenever I can, I do plan on doing so. Not just for gender therapy, but also because I believe I have a lot of personal coping issues that need addressing as well.
While doing some research on being trans, one constant I've found about trying to address the uncertainty is that if you find yourself thinking about being trans, than most likely you are. So, while I feel I may be, I feel so uncertain about actually declaring it. Especially in regards to my family. I'm certain my friends (or at least the ones that do matter) will understand or really just won't be phased by it; however my family is a different story. And because my grandmother has been having an ongoing struggle with breast cancer for 2 years now, I really don't want to bring this topic up to them at this time.
Uncertainty aside, I've just really been needing to get these thoughts out. Despite having a few LGBT friends, I just can't bring myself to talk to someone about it. Would it be wrong to tell them "Hey, I have questions about being trans, though, I really have no idea if I am or not"?
Hoping I'm not ranting too much but I suppose that's a basic intro for now. Ideally hoping to perhaps find some people to speak with in regards to this and perhaps help me get some understanding and clarity. Aside from this facet of myself, I do currently work full-time & started going back to school part-time for now. I enjoy gaming, music, guitar, comics, and many other things.
