Not referring to post surgery but you can speak of that as well, how big is your chest size and how does that make you feel?

Ive always felt strange about that since puberty but as I got older and I thought I should be female, having a flat chest made me uncomfortable. Now that Im older and know myself better I know its a huge relief to be nearly flat chested, I dont have to bind at all. I still have some tissue though, which will be a relief to remove as well, but for now Im rather greatful Im at least not overburdened.  I feel bad for guys with huge chests.

Pre-T I was around a 36B on the larger end of the cup size. Small enough to ignore, large enough to get in the way. I remember I started puberty really young at 9 and was the only kid with a chest in elementary school. It was awful and mortifying. After learning what they were, I got my first binder at 17 and lived in it until top surgery.

Now I'm totally flat and my life is great. I have this ridiculous anxiety though about pecs. I absolutely don't want anything that could ever be confused for a boob, and as a result I never work out my chest at all. My fitness-oriented friends all get on me about it because it's apparently bad to just completely exclude a muscle group. I want to be healthy, but aesthetically speaking I don't ever want to not be flat.

I hate my chest (F-G cup depending on my weight). I can't wait for it to be gone. Especially now that I'm on T. I though maybe the dysphoria would ease up a bit, but I've actually become more self conscious about my chest lately. I can at least look at my face in the mirror now, but if I get a glance at what is below ... I think I look like a monster. S'okay. Just have to be patient and do my time on the waiting list.

I'm a 36 D and without my binder I feel completely uncomfortable. I'm pretty chunky too so it makes me feel and look even bigger when I don't have my binder on. It would be great if I didn't need to wear a binder tho

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Quote from: FTMax on September 19, 2016, 03:00:53 PM
Pre-T I was around a 36B on the larger end of the cup size. Small enough to ignore, large enough to get in the way. I remember I started puberty really young at 9 and was the only kid with a chest in elementary school. It was awful and mortifying. After learning what they were, I got my first binder at 17 and lived in it until top surgery.

Now I'm totally flat and my life is great. I have this ridiculous anxiety though about pecs. I absolutely don't want anything that could ever be confused for a boob, and as a result I never work out my chest at all. My fitness-oriented friends all get on me about it because it's apparently bad to just completely exclude a muscle group. I want to be healthy, but aesthetically speaking I don't ever want to not be flat.

I was 7 when mine came in so I know that struggle. I only hung out with boys in my class so they didn't make a huge deal out of it but one guy did because I would take my training bra off once I got to school lol



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Pre-T, I was a 32C. Now, I'd say I'm just barely a B, if not an A. My fat has redistributed enough that my chest has lost a lot of its previous volume it had going on, and more or less looks deflated. I used to want top surgery super badly, but now it's less of a worry on my mind.

The only time my chest really bothers me is when I'm at work, as I work 12-hour shifts in a warehouse that requires a lot of physical labor, and I can't bind that long while doing my job without hurting and getting lightheaded. It makes me a little paranoid around my coworkers, but loose shirts and tight sports bras seem to get the job done well enough that no one seems to notice. I know my dysphoria just makes me hyper aware of it all, so I try not to dwell on it much.

I don't even know how big I was before top surgery, I suppose the surgeon estimated them somewhere in the B range? Small enough to hide with a binder but big enough to ruin my self-confidence. However big/small they were still way too big for me and I wanted to get rid of them. The quality of life got so much better after top surgery and it was one of the best things I've gone through.

I have no idea when they started to grow, I guess I was just that much in denial about it all. I used to go shirtless as a kid because I saw the men in my family do that but once the chesticles came into the picture, that was just impossible.

Being on T didn't do much to the size at least from my perspective but then again there wasn't that much time between starting T and top surgery for me (only eight months or so).

I was a medium B last I checked (about 5 years ago).
Puberty at 8/9. I remember wearing a trainer bra way past what was acceptable, then my mom bought me one of those push up bras for middle school. Dysphoria really didn't hit until I was 12. The worst part of dysphoria in school for me was gym class. By high school I went onto wearing sports bras or training bras to get some sort of compression. I would always feel "weird" about standing upright or walking without a slouch, and always wear layers and a hoodie to cope. At 18 I bought a binder, which helped for the most part.
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Side note, I always thought of them as pointless bags of skin similar to that of a cow. Although I guess a cow's udders do have a purpose, that is what I equated them to ever since I was a kid.

Quote from: FTMax on September 19, 2016, 03:00:53 PM
Now I'm totally flat and my life is great. I have this ridiculous anxiety though about pecs. I absolutely don't want anything that could ever be confused for a boob, and as a result I never work out my chest at all. My fitness-oriented friends all get on me about it because it's apparently bad to just completely exclude a muscle group. I want to be healthy, but aesthetically speaking I don't ever want to not be flat.

Yeah interestingly, I love working my chest and seeing pecs but occasionally, like if there's something across my chest (seat belt, messenger bag...) I'll get freaked out: "OH GOD DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A BOOB?!" haha but then I look around at other people (funny, I can't remember what it felt like to have my own boobs / what they felt or looked like. I guess I blocked them out haha) and realise, oh right ok no, it doesn't look like  I have boobs lol.

I'm 7 and a half years post op and this happens.

Its true that you don't want to neglect a muscle group; maybe do some push ups or light lifting?
Anyway, cheers!

Bigger than was ever comfortable or easy to ignore.

Not precisely sure of the size atm as they've gone larger and smaller over the years with my weight doing the same thing.

I feel that once I am rid of them, I'll taking up running seriously. Despite all the sportswear and stuff to keep them still the idea of running without them might actually really appeal for the first time.

T.K.G.W., running sans boobs is amaaaaaaazing

I've only got like a B cup (well that's what I was last time I had a bra when I was like 13 or something.
But still that's still too much they feel huge and I hate them so much. They make me feel physically sick. Also they ruin my silhouette and get in the way of clothes.
Can't wait til top surgery, but that is years and years away (unfortunately because I'm sure I'm gonna do serious damage from binding before then)

That sucks that a lot of people struggle with that :/ Sometimes I wonder if Im one of the few guys who has that "advantage"

Kind of makes me want to ask a new questuon, did anyone have masculine traits and/or lack feminine traits pre transition?

I don't know my chest size but i know it's a good enough size to make it noticeable for sure and make me very uncomfortable. I believe i started binding when i was 19 because that's the age i found out that was possible and i was transgender. Ever sense i was younger and started puberty i was overly uncomfortable with my chest i used to speak to my aunt about it i was clearly unhappy i don't remember what i'd say but i'd complain a lot about them developing in a way others around me never complained. It was noticed but my aunt didn't say anything to me she just listened and waited for me to figure myself out she never even suggested if i was trans. Although she new something was up from what she had told me when i was older looking back on past times. The females in my family used to make a lot of jokes and speak about sizes with the kids it was really weird and i remember feeling super unhappy and uncomfortable.
So much that i remember almost crying in front of everyone but i held my tears back i didn't know why i was even in tears, and just ran of with my younger relatives at the time to do something else instead of listen to people my age speak about their development and joke around. It still makes my skin crawl, i can't even stay around that kind of joking now it still shakes me up, i don't like it i never will. Even the words about my chest i dislike hearing. They can trigger me so my chest is a huge trigger always has been actually, looking back it should have been the big sign yelling "Transgender" but nobody asked about it,  nobody cared to find out why i felt like i did they just assumed i would adjust or let me find out and suffer puberty, maybe it was a good or bad thing that they let me find out instead but i'm unsure sometimes i wish my aunt would have told my parents to find me someone to speak with because maybe i would have got help sooner and everything now would be less confusing. But to reply to the question Of course i felt very uncomfortable about the size along with simply having them.

I hate my chest and have since it sprouted when I was 12. I have always felt extremely dysphoric about it and wanted to cut them off. I am a 34H cup and while I think that contributes to my dysphoria about them, I think I would actually feel the same even if they were a more average size. I never wanted to have breasts and since they are the only overt physical sign of the dreaded femaleness, I have always despised them. I feel the same way about them that I feel about being assigned anything stereotypically feminine. I have felt that way since I was a kid and didn't want to get tasked with "girl jobs"...

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Quote from: WolfNightV4X1 on September 20, 2016, 12:05:01 PM
That sucks that a lot of people struggle with that :/ Sometimes I wonder if Im one of the few guys who has that "advantage"

Kind of makes me want to ask a new questuon, did anyone have masculine traits and/or lack feminine traits pre transition?

A positive body question
Most of my body is fairly masculine. I am much taller than most of the women in my family (5" taller than the next tallest and a full foot taller than the shortest), I have long arms (even mens shirts tend to be too short), long feet (I wear a men's 9-9.5), boyish hands, narrow hips and a fairly linear body except for the giant chest. If I could just cut off the chest, I'd be laughing.

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To address your second question, OP, Yea I had male traits long before medical transition. I knew when I was 4 that I was "supposed to have been born a boy" (I didn't have a word for it as a 4 year old in 1974)... Just as a lil background.

Late elementary school it really started (hmm puberty?)--I was read as androgynous ("are you a boy or a girl?" coming from kids and adults alike) or as male. I was getting screamed at for being in the women's washroom (despite my long blond hair lol; well it was the 70s so dudes / boys with long hair were not a strange thing). I started using the boys / mens because I wasnt' being hassled there. In college I was given a hard time for being on the womens' soccer team. Heh. 

I wasn't hairy pre T but I was always muscular & had no trouble putting on (more) muscle.

I'd always done all the 'boy' things too: dirtbikes (still do), playing drums (still do), hunting (still do) etc LOL. Basically I'm just a taller (and now bearded) version of my wee self haha.

In fact I didn't medically transition (T and surgery) til I was in my late 30s  because it really wasn't necessary; I just needed a liiiiiitle push from androgyny and being called 'sir' 80 % of the time to 100%. So, T. I'd wanted a beard since I was a kid too so that's been nice

Back to the chest issue: despite my boobs being easily concealed, they were a major (the only?) point of dysphoria and had to go. I have always preferred being shirtless too sooooo yeah

Yeah. Facial hair. Lots and lots of facial hair. Which was a definite advantage passing prior to T and my voice drop. But made the chest situation all the more gross to me.

Quote from: WolfNightV4X1 on September 20, 2016, 12:05:01 PM

Kind of makes me want to ask a new questuon, did anyone have masculine traits and/or lack feminine traits pre transition?

I'm not very hairy at all, but I do have relatively broad shoulders compared to my pelvis, I seem to gain muscle very easily and for some reason I'm 3.5 shoe sizes bigger than the biggest size of any female in the family. I do have a broad voice range and tend to speak in a lower register than any of them too.

I put most of it down to the genetic lottery, though. My mother was a very petite feminine woman, my father was a tall fairly manly-lookin' dude. It's as if in some ways their traits both got nearly equal representation in me, but in different areas. 

Quote from: WolfNightV4X1 on September 20, 2016, 12:05:01 PM
Kind of makes me want to ask a new questuon, did anyone have masculine traits and/or lack feminine traits pre transition?

Yes. T has basically turned me into a small furry bear, but I was capable of a lot of the body hair growth (and mild facial hair growth) pre-T. Thanks PCOS!

I've also always had really big shoulders. I was a police officer for a few years and when we got fitted for our bulletproof vests, I had to get a custom fitted one because my shoulders were so disproportionately big compared to my height. They had to get me a men's vest to accommodate my shoulders, but they had to shorten the length.