I hope I posted this in the right spot. This question and help has been buging me my entire life.
Sorry about the bad grammer and spelling I was never realy good at doing papers.
To start out I never realy had a father figuare my mother raised me by her self. All was working long hours and hard days just to support the both of us. She had alot of boy friends aong the way but I all was had this inner voice telling me this is not a good guy. So I would tell her this guy is not the right guy. Guess what 2 weeks later I'm right lazy good for nothing guy. I can all most sence what guys are like from thier talk to thier actions in just a few mins. I never really liked the way I looked like I all was hated my self for some reason, I never liked looking at my self in the mirror it just did not seem like that its me. I lied to my doctors saying do yah get a hard on when looking at a naked women I said yes but in fact I said no under my breath. Some times when I see sex sometimes I wish I was that women. I can not even imagine having sex with a woman. I have been having dreams for the longest time about me turning from male to female. They are so strong and so detailed that I found this pick of the face and hair that all most like mine in the dream when I looked at my self in the mirror.
It was like a total male to female transformation. I wish i looked like her well all most.
I do not know if I'm confused or what I fell like I do not know how to act etc. I fell like I'm being torn apart. It's driving me nuts. I'm I just in a phase or what. Its like I do not look like a women but more like a man but it's just like I said I do not know. I tried to slit my wrist twice but did not have anything sharp enough in the house go figure. All I got out of that is little cuts that looked like dog scratches. I still do think about it now and then just ending it but the only thing thats holding me back is my mother I can leave her on this earth alone. Please some help me get my thoughts strait.
