- Do not marry that person.
- Do not study in that field. Instead, do something in the medical field, as this will provide you with greater job security. 
- The dysphoria will NEVER go away! No matter how strong-willed you are, fighting/denying it will only lead to decades of misery and self-hate.
- Do not stop taking the HRT and go back to fighting and denying yourself again.
- In your effort to appear normal, DO NOT get the double mastectomy! It will torture you every day for the rest of your life. See a therapist instead!

As a moderator, I review most every active thread on the site and this one has had me puzzled for days. I really couldn't think of anything I had done wrong that needed to be corrected however this morning I see what I would need to tell myself.

I would need to educate my self on transsexualism with updated knowledge so I would be better prepared to face the future. So many things would have gone faster had I better understood it at the time. '

I would give the high points of my life so the new me would know the path that I took

I would have suggested coming out sooner and experimenting with cross living as much as possible. That I am the end goal and it will be possible to obtain that goal.

I would have provided myself with the name and contact information of my last therapist, the one that really made the transition possible.

Last, I would have provided the name of my roommate with some warnings about what life would be like. The changes I am making would cause use to miss each other but the years we spent to gather were important enough that the new me shouldn't miss them. 

Quote from: Dena on September 22, 2016, 11:50:10 AM
As a moderator, I review most every active thread on the site and this one has had me puzzled for days. I really couldn't think of anything I had done wrong that needed to be corrected however this morning I see what I would need to tell myself.

I would need to educate my self on transsexualism with updated knowledge so I would be better prepared to face the future. So many things would have gone faster had I better understood it at the time. '

I would give the high points of my life so the new me would know the path that I took

I would have suggested coming out sooner and experimenting with cross living as much as possible. That I am the end goal and it will be possible to obtain that goal.

I would have provided myself with the name and contact information of my last therapist, the one that really made the transition possible.

Last, I would have provided the name of my roommate with some warnings about what life would be like. The changes I am making would cause use to miss each other but the years we spent to gather were important enough that the new me shouldn't miss them.

Dena is an inspiration for me. I can't imagine being trans in the 1980s. My goodness, the courage it must have taken to do that. It's so much easier now. I really believe that. You're like one of the founding sisters of the LGBTQ community. Thank you for your courage, it's people like you that makes it possible for people like me.

Quote from: Sinclair on September 22, 2016, 09:54:58 PM
Dena is an inspiration for me. I can't imagine being trans in the 1980s. My goodness, the courage it must have taken to do that. It's so much easier now. I really believe that. You're like one of the founding sisters of the LGBTQ community. Thank you for your courage, it's people like you that makes it possible for people like me.

Your welcome. The reason I am on this site is because of the battle I had to fight. I want others to avoid as much of what I went though as possible. Of the the people on the site, I have the most hope for are the teens because if I can get them into treatment early, they will never have to face much of the difficulty that we face.

Actually you may not realize it but I could have been more of a founding sister than you think. We had two senior members in the group and they were involved in writing the stands of care that became WPAT. I see many of the ideas from our group being discussed by other therapist. Possibly some of our discussions are being shared by everybody today. These thoughts are pretty much the same ones that are contained in my posts so you have somewhat of an idea what one of my group meetings was like.

Buy Apple as much as i could afford

Other than that i would have told myself to spend more energy on connecting with people.

Quote from: Sinclair on September 22, 2016, 09:54:58 PM
Dena is an inspiration for me. I can't imagine being trans in the 1980s. My goodness, the courage it must have taken to do that. It's so much easier now. I really believe that. You're like one of the founding sisters of the LGBTQ community. Thank you for your courage, it's people like you that makes it possible for people like me.

Agreed well spoken I feel.the same way

Hey kiddo

Everything feels like absolute hell right now, but everything will eventually turn out OK. No hell, no matter how horrific, is permanent. Teenagehood passes, and eventually you'll be the master of your own destiny.

I know you feel incredibly confused: you hate the feminine shape of your body but don't really understand why; you find guys enormously attractive but you can't stand the way they focus on your curves; your so-called family is neglecting and abusing you. You think you're the only person in the entire world who's suffering in this way and you've learned to not talk about your problems. All of this is making it very difficult for you to study at school. But you know what? You're an incredibly smart kid, and you're going to (somehow!) graduate with A-grades and honours anyway. Because you're just that awesome.

When you get to 19 you're going to discover the reason why you feel so horrible about your body, but your research will tell you that surgical options are not good enough at the moment. That's fine; you don't need to rush into 'the surgery'. You'll think you're out of options and so you'll shove yourself back in the closet. That's a sensible idea in the short term, because you're right that transition is too big a burden when your mother is going through breast cancer. But sadly, she'll pop her clogs just a few years later and you'll be left with a young brother to care for. So put it on hold until then: move back to the UK as you planned, go to the doctor and get started on testosterone whilst you're still young & gorgeous and before your body gets wrecked by childbearing. Don't worry: your transition will be very successful and you can wait a couple of years for bottom surgery, by which time the techniques will have improved significantly. And you can still have kids in the meantime.

On that subject: whatever you do, don't marry that guy you fall in love with. He's adorable and wonderful when you first meet him, but that's only because he's putting on a front in an attempt to snag you. If you marry him he'll show his true colours whilst you're in a very vulnerable position and you'll spend the next 20 years in a difficult and often lonely marriage. He'll never get anywhere and he'll just drag you down. Plus he's a massive homophobe at heart, which will make your transition all the more difficult. Don't settle for that loser; you're worth a heck of a lot more.

The fact that you like guys doesn't mean that you're 'really a girl'. And you know how you feel when watching that gay character on Hooperman? That weird mixture of despair, regret and deep longing? Put 2 + 2 together, smartypants: it adds up to 'you're gay'. It'll take time - and transition - for you to be able to fully embrace that fact, but when you do, oh my goodness! how your life will improve. Discarding the illusion of femaleness and living as your true self will be the greatest gift you ever give yourself. Enjoy it for as long as humanly possible.

Remember: no matter how dark & lonely things may seem, I still love you. I'm enormously proud of my brave little soldier who managed to survive things nobody should ever have to experience. You made it possible for me to exist today, and I think of you fondly and with great compassion & gratitude.

And above all, thanks for being rubbish at committing suicide. Sticking around is definitely the best way to get back at people who try to drag you down.