So over the past few weeks I've been doing some soul searching and weighing lists, you know, the pro and con lists we all create.

In my case the con list of total transition has tipped the pro/neutral list by enough that, for now, I'm taking a break from transitioning.  I have the slightest signs of breast development which, for now, is where I'm comfortable. 

Being 54 years old and a long term dreamer I have too many dreams and wild plans that will totally fall apart if I transition.  I know I can create new ones, but basically I don't want to do that.  Thirty+ years of marriage and a life partner who I will cherish forever means more than anything else.  She and I have talked quite a bit and she has accepted this side of me as I am today.  Maybe in the future I'll continue, but that waits to be seen.

I do plan on continuing some of my outings and taking an occasional vacation en'fem and maybe in time my wife will join me.  But for the next ... (put some time frame here) ... I'll hop off the train at this station.

Thanks to all for the support over the past 8 months.

Good luck, it isn't a competition who gets where and how fast. It's about you, and what you're comfortable with. 

All -

   Well I'm back.  BAD idea to stop cold turkey.  What happened:
1) imaging PMS to the max - 10-4 days after stopping I was a ticking time bomb.
2) Things settled down.  I had people to talk to and I thought all was going well.
3) Started to feel an anger build up about two weeks ago.
4) Started on a very very low dosage of Sprio.  It was not enough.  I almost had a total mental breakdown. 
5) upped dosage of Spiro (Dr approved) I feel better but took the week off of work just to be sure.

I suspect I'll be on Spiro forever and restart on a fraction of the dosage of E I was on.  Just to keep me calm.

Bottom line - Gender Dysphoria is a mother!  Don't try to tame it alone.  Better living through chemicals.

Quote from: pj on September 22, 2016, 09:27:03 PM
All -

   Well I'm back.  BAD idea to stop cold turkey.  What happened:
1) imaging PMS to the max - 10-4 days after stopping I was a ticking time bomb.
2) Things settled down.  I had people to talk to and I thought all was going well.
3) Started to feel an anger build up about two weeks ago.
4) Started on a very very low dosage of Sprio.  It was not enough.  I almost had a total mental breakdown. 
5) upped dosage of Spiro (Dr approved) I feel better but took the week off of work just to be sure.

I suspect I'll be on Spiro forever and restart on a fraction of the dosage of E I was on.  Just to keep me calm.

Bottom line - Gender Dysphoria is a mother!  Don't try to tame it alone.  Better living through chemicals.

I would agree...just when you think you have the tiger by the tail you disover things are not what you thought they were...I hope things get better for you and you find your peace.

Liz