I hope your feeling better about your decision. Just remember this is major surgery, its not for the faint of heart.
I knew this going in, but I'm even struggling with my recovery at times. I'm doing a little better now. But just the other day I had the feeling of not knowing what I was. I'm definitely not male down there, but I'm not feeling too female either. I've only had a few days where I can actually feel good about what I have now, and marvel over how normal everything is now. Today is one of the good days, I'm hoping it just gets better.
I don't regret nothing! I'm just not feeling like I thought I would. I do realize though that there's an end to the rainbow, I will get there sooner or later.
As far as the Betadine, I've been using it only once per day right after my morning dilation. It seems to help if I don't do it with the evening dilation. My concerns are a little different though, I may have an allergic reaction to it. Supposedly since I am allergic to shell fish, the same goes with iodine. I don't think this is the case but it has helped my recovery since only douching once a day with it.
I hope your thoughts are in a better place

I only thought about what I was doing when I got on the airplane....oh and when I watched The Danish Girl on the plane. Not a good idea LOL
When I laid on the operating table I was very nervous, not so much for what I was about to do, more so for hoping the surgery would go ok and I would live. When I woke up in recovery I thanked God so much that I was alive, I then thanked him for what was done lol
Good luck girl