I was just thinking about how gender and sexual orientation are completely separate.  But I'm gay now.  I used to not be gay.  But my sexuality didn't change, just the label.  Isn't that weird?  Since I still like girls...the same girl, actually.  It just makes me feel like, it's just labels.  I feel like it's maybe not entirely accurate that our most used gauges for sexual orientation are dependent on your gender relative to a partners.  I don't really know that there's a point to all of this; but I would really like to know some of you girls/guys/other people's thoughts on labels or weird realizations related to being trans.   

Uh.. I went from "Straight, duh" to "....*vague noncommittal gesture, shrug*" because nothing actually seemed to fit worth a darn. And I looked. Not bi, not pan, not straight.. not a lesbian though either.. not asexual.. Sigh.
I can only hope that me and my husband getting HRT helps to get things sorted out some. I keep hearing that it tweaks orientation sometimes. Hopefully they land on something compatible, too, another nightmare of mine.

Quote from: Amanda_Combs on October 01, 2016, 09:59:50 PM
... But my sexuality didn't change, just the label.  Isn't that weird?  ... it's just labels.  ... I would really like to know some of you girls/guys/other people's thoughts on labels or weird realizations related to being trans.   

Yeah, you're right... they're just labels... mostly wonderful tools of language but they can also get in the way of truly seeing something. My progress in my transition was greatly improved by forgetting at times about labeling systems such as the concept of gender identity and focusing on taking steps to live life the way I wanted to live it. That was a huge key for me. At the same time, having those terms helped to expand the binary which for me conceptually was healthy to hear. Individual terms can be wonderful tools of communication but never limitless.

Yes, they are just labels, and yes they are weird.  I went from being a straight male to a lesbian with no change in my actual orientation.  Even weirder is that my wife went from being a straight female to a lesbian without doing anything at all.  Labels are strange.

Yes labels are weird. However  I can't relate to the idea that my sexuality isn't changing.

Already transition has radically shifted how I relate to my own orgasms; it's different in ways I'd never expected. My gf has experienced her own changes as I first became far less sexual and internally bordering on asexual. Now, since adding progesterone  I'm becoming more assertive on being treated as feminine (she's never much paid attention to my breasts and I find I want that even more now as they've become far more erogenous).

Using my penis (I like to use Julie Vu's moniker sheenis now) has always been an act of passing. And I passed well, with flying colors even though I've been cross dressed for sex exclusively for 20 years now.

I've also used a strapon, sometimes just for play, others to relieve myself from the responsibility of having an erection and to explore what itay be like to use one after GRS. However, after GRS that's going to be the only way for her to get that with me and we both know it's not the same.

We've always had a strong sexuality and I have no desire to see that go away. On the receiving end I'm so excited at the prospect of vaginal sex; anal is fine as far as it goes, the downside of more extensive prep and foreplay we find cuts into spontaneity.

It may well be sometime down the road I will find these changes have all become part of the background and possibly I will feel as the OP expressed, however I don't want that. I can remember so much of my sex life, it's all vivid and I can't imagine I won't remember the differences.

Quote from: Amanda_Combs on October 01, 2016, 09:59:50 PM
I was just thinking about how gender and sexual orientation are completely separate.  But I'm gay now.  I used to not be gay.  But my sexuality didn't change, just the label.  Isn't that weird? 

I do find it very weird as well.  This transition doesn't change how I love although it did change my sexuality a bit and how I relate to my wife as a man is different from before in some ways? But these are minor changes.

LGBT as a social group is palpably different from the straight world, but I haven't been involved in the gay community in a long time, just a factor of where I've been living and what I've been up to. I miss it, though.

I do wonder about trans people who want "nothing to do with GLB" well, honey, you were gay before or after, or you were bi before and after, so you are a part of this community--who do you think you're fooling, yourself?

Labels belong on jars, not people.

Yes, the whole thing feels ridiculous considering I have never changed even one atom as a person yet everyone around me seems to demand or require a new label in order to feel comfortable referring to me or understand what my "plan" is or whatever. I never got asked if I was gay before, never got asked what I was and "what I want" or "who I am choosing to be" - I'm not choosing to be anything other than what I already am, all I'm doing is taking some synthetic hormones and getting a couple of body parts tidied up. But I'm me with this particular issue - I'll never understand life or people from the perspective of these people who do not have it and never had to think about it.

Yes labels are weird and I never thought about that as I'm going though this. Staying with my wife is would be considered  gay then but that's in the future to mull over

Years ago I asked my therapist my sexuality. At the time my wife and I would on rare occasion be together. Knowing my past and preferences she said heterosexual with a lesbian twist. It has been over two years since my wife and I have been together and we will never be together again. So did I lose my lesbian twist?

When I am ready and the time is right I will be open to meet another person. There is a person I connect with and am avoiding. She is trans and I am not ready and as I explained to my therapist I am not ready and I do not want to be in a relationship. My therapist said if I am with someone it does not need to be a relationship. What would you call me?

When I was younger I had a period I would have one nighters with guys. What would you call me then?

I have been called a lot of names and labels. I guess it makes some people comfortable to but others into a box and then treat them as per their expectations that label deserves in their mind.