You live in the UK. My dear, you have access to the absolute finest mtf protocol in existence, anywhere in the world, period. The hoops are not horrible, the pacing will seem slow at times, but also, horribly fast at times. Which is again.... perfect. Get queued up, and run the track as designed.
nb.. alcohol + self med, seriously, playing on the train tracks, in downtown London, while listening to metal on headphones, and wearing dark sunglasses... would be safer. Seriously, stop that.
Do the NHS track, you'll have a shot of goserelin in your butt before you know it, and all that boy stuff will just go away.