I had the same mental thing.  It will pass once you get back on E. Somehow tapering off E and then suddenly no T (blocked or otherwise) is a real thing.  I incorrectly assumed blocked T and no T were the SAME. Incorrect. Hunger, get healing and don't overdo it.

Thanks Kris!  So good to hear cause and that it will go away as my hormones fix themselves

Day 4 post op

Today I woke up a bit body sore.  I think I need to walk more.  Took a shower and was tired from doing that.  I've been changing pads twice a day.  I've been lucky that blood flow wasn't too bad.  I put ointment on the incisions twice a day.  Morning and evening. 

Tomorrow I get the catheter out.  I am not looking forward to that event but am to being past it.  The lower part of my abdomen is sore and tight.  There is a bit of swelling of the lady bits.  I have been putting ice, in an ice bag I got at the hospital, pretty much all the time.  it would be a lot worse if not for that I suppose. 

I'm on just Advil now.  I am not exceeding the dose prescribed on the bottle.  No prescription pain killers.  Antibiotics are 3 times a day and that is important.  I started estrogen the day after the surgery or so. 

things are a little scary but mostly in the unfamiliar way.  I will adjust.  I just need to heal more and that will help my mindset. 

Good to hear that you are progressing well! Ice and rest can be the best friend when dealing with swelling. Thanks for your posts. It helps me in getting ready for my GRS, date pending.

Day 5 post op - temporary regrets, orgasm, follow up doc appt and peeing

Today was a pretty big day but let's start at the beginning
Last night I couldn't sleep. I lay in the bed hour upon hour uncomfortable and began questioned what the hell had I been thinking. I had gone beyond going back. There was no way to undo what had been done and for what?  Did I really need to have done this?  So I replayed my life and how I got here. It was instantly obvious I did great to have delayed this moment so long. I remembered the relief and joy I felt right after surgery. I remembered how happy I was as my girls grew. As I thought about them, I reached up and touched them. That triggered a new and unusual response from down below which was not being touched. I quickly stopped but it was like I had charged something up. It didn't go away so after a short bit I repeated what I had done and triggered a toe curling orgasm.  The last ghost of something that smelled like regret vanished at that.
Also, how the heck?  I still had the catheter and the mile of gauze.   So I am just going to say that Dr Bowers knows what she is doing.  And again, anything smelling like doubts are gone. They were just a product of lack of sleep coupled with discomfort. Funny enough, there was never a future I envisioned where that first orgasm would happen so soon. Talk about a surprise.  I could not recreate that moment but I hope for many more chances.  Seriously, if I could already do this when I want there would not be many posts.
So after that I was able to eventually fall asleep. I showered in the morn had breakfast and we watched the tube while waiting for the shuttle.  I took a short walk and did some work. The folks here btw are amazing. They have been fantastic from room needs to the shuttle which is 24x7. If you have Dr Bowers and are from out of town you really should use the Staybridge.
So let's get through the post op. So I had the catheter removed. There was no pain. It was a little odd but I was mostly just worried about nothing. The next item was the packing removal. Again there was no pain but it was odd. Just try to relax. Finally I had the dilation. Ok. I was scared of this but it also was not a big deal.  It was a bit mentally stressful due to the newness
For the rest if the day I felt a lot better. It took a while to relax but walking was a lot better among other things. My cooch muscles are somewhat sore after dilation but that is to be expected.
I did have some oxy before the appointment but that was due to fear. I didn't need it.
So all in all it was a heck of a day. I had to do two more dilutions today after leaving the office .  It went well but it's still somewhat stressful just because it is new.  I only needed to plop a dollop of metrogel on the police baton for one dilation.

Lastly let me note the joy of urinarion  Girls have a built in bidet system but it takes getting used to.  It's an evolutionary reason to spray all over my arse but I still prefer something more like a stream. Ah well. When commenting to my bff, I was laughed at upon complaining and told welcome to womanhood.

Hope some of this is useful and please ask questions to hit on things I miss. 

Post op Day 6 - one week after GCS

This is the final report barring questions. 
Today has been good. The sky was sunny and I was able to relax after a long walk. I was tired after the walk but did pull off about a mile. My soreness is tolerable and I am off of all pain meds but am short winded. Dilation is what it is. It is not fun but it is necessary.
So here are some lessons learned.
- when they take the wrapping off it looks great already. I have seen pics of post op that look raw and wounded. Dr Bowers has improved her technique over the years and it looks great from day 1   
- do NOT get heavy flow maxi pads. Get the real thin ones. The thick ones are uncomfortable and not needed.  There is light spotting at most , at least for me.
- You don't need more than a few pads for the bed. I use a baby changing pad for dilation. Easy to clean up
- Don't go into this thinking you are all the way mentally. There are some adjustments afterwards. Just remember how you got here. When you feel a bit off it is most likely just due to being so beat. This does take a lot out of you. 
- Your new cooch will give you little nerve jolts. It is like a surprise shock. Happily it doesn't last but I will dread public speaking until they are gone. 

And with that I complete my last major bit of my transition journey.   If I remember things that should be added I will do so.  Good luck to the rest of you girls. 

Oh yes, make friends here. That was a great part if this journey.

Thank you for letting us all be part of your journey so far. Your comments are very helpful to me in getting my head around my surgery.

Thank you for the postings!  I've been reading the postings for the last few weeks for you, Shellters, and Carrie Liz.  It has been enlightening as I prepare for my own journey step in a couple of weeks.  It is amazing to me, and very encouraging, that you could walk a mile one week after surgery. Even if you were tired afterwards, the fact that you could do it at all is amazing.

Thank you for sharing your story and advise. I will be experiencing GCS in 7 weeks 6 days

Looks like things are going good for you! Congrats. It was fairly the same for me the first week after post op. Things probably would of been even better if I would of rested more. I ended up doing way too much walking in Bangkok. I could've prevented much of the swelling by laying more in bed. Flying home was a different matter, but then again I should of opted for wheelchair use at the airports. Again I walked too much. When I finaly got home it took a good day to feel a little better. Now 3 days later and I have a set back. It feels worse than day 1 out of the hospital.

As far as urinating, it's getting easier but still hard to completely empty the bladder. I also don't get the same satisfaction when releasing urine. Though that is getting better.

Hope the next few weeks go as well for you as the first week!

Thanks all for the well wishes.  It does make a difference to read them. 

For urinating I will add that you can reduce some of the bidet effect if you lean forward and bring your knees closer together.  I was sitting up too straight.  Being less than youthful when starting my transition, my hips are not rotated.
Anyhow, it makes a difference between being a bum wash or going down to the water below. 

I'm still surprised at how big a deal this is mentally.  Before surgery I felt that I was a woman but there was this barrier of my own devising.  I was and yet, I wasn't.  Heck, I could even change my mind if I wanted to (like that would happen).  Now though, my girl card works everywhere.  Locker rooms, bathrooms, airport scanners, yoga pants, etc...  For me it is now 'real' and when I look back, it feels like I wasn't before.  I am past the point of no return and nobody can ever take this away from me (Cue: Katy Perry, "Part of me")
Please don't take that to be an opinion on anybody other than myself.  It is just how I felt about myself.  I don't feel that anybody is any more or less for having gone through GCS.  It did make a difference though in how I looked at myself.

Also Shellster, I'm very sorry for your setback.  That stinks.  I definitely want to avoid that and am taking your advice to rest to heart. Healing is a good thing.

I read all the updates by everyone who has gone through the surgery. It is interesting that you mention urination. I was just thinking of this topic this morning. It is one of my big worries. Not that all the other things such as sensation, depth looks, etc., are not important but for some reason this hit me today.

Glad that all is progressing for you!

I have been following your and shellsters navigation of this part of the journey and appreciate all that has been said and discussed.  It is a part of my journey too (though it feels a long distance away yet) and having you out ahead of me in SRS is comforting.  Thank you, truly, for taking the time to keep us up to speed, so to speak.

I said I wouldn't write more unless asked.
I lied.

I just felt like popping an update.  I'm 3 weeks and 2 days post surgery.  Today I moved up a dilator to the green dilator.  I had popped some stitches a week and a half ago at the base and side of the entrance which looked unpleasant so the good doc said hold off on moving up in size.  I followed the advice until today.  Things appear to be healing fine.  It's still not going to win a lady bits beauty contest but it's all mine! 

I get around just fine with minimal soreness.  No real feeling from my clitoris yet which makes me slightly concerned.  It's also pretty retracted though I suppose as swelling goes down it will come out.  There are some pretty happy sensations inside which is great.   I will need to relearn how to make things work for me. 

I can't wait until I don't need to dilate in the middle of the day.  Not sure how the rest of you do it but I either come home early or take a break, find a one person bathroom and do my thing on a yoga mat while lying on the floor.  Sadly my employer could not come up with something better.  There are praying and nursing rooms but nothing for alternative private needs like what I need.

It might surprise you where you get blood.  I rather expected something more like a period thing but I tend to instead get some blood along the upper part towards the clitoris.  When you set your pads, make sure you put it high enough to cover the top or you will get a nice little stain on your panties that you won't want. 

Also, I'm using Always ultra thin athletic. Green packaging.  They seem to be most comfortable out of the ones I've used so far and don't move around.  The wings are overkill for me since I do not bleed there.

Mentally I can't convey the difference for me.  I will say that if you are not really trans that this would be a terrible thing to do to yourself.  I can picture how bad that would be.  Going all the way up to the surgery I had moments of doubt.  This is not trivial.  On the other hand, if you really are though, and are anything like myself, well then there is some small period of mental oddity and then confidence.  I love wearing jeans, leggings and anything else that I was worried about before.  Even without that I feel safe in the ladies room where I always had some concern.  I am happy in my skin for the first time ever. 

I know I'm way lucky to be past this point and to be doing well.  My heart goes out to every one of you that has to wait.  Keep your spirits up and feel good about how the procedures are continuously improving.   

Thank your all of the posts! I'm glad you added the last one especially at s was right for you. May you continue a speedy recovery.

In regards to dilating mid-day, what I did was dilate in the morning and after work, skipped mid-day. For the two sessions I tacked on an additional 10 minutes.

I'm at two years post-op and down to one time a day, four days a week w/o lose of depth.

Best wishes as you move forward and enjoy life to it's fullest.

I checked with Dr Bowers' office and they said it wasn't total time so much as minimizing the amount of time between dilations.  With that said they said I could go to twice a day but I should try to do it as soon as I got back from work.
My depth is down from the first dilation because swelling has gone down.  I suppose it is closer to 5.5" rather than 6" as it was on the first dilation but I can coax a bit more depth over time. 

My clitoris was a bit non responsive but that is changed.  It still has some ways to go but it looks like it is waking up nicely.  There were some suture endpoints poking some sensitive areas along with some nerve reawakening. 

It has only been a month but I think I can look at skipping pads very shortly.  I do not seem to have any bleeding or icky stuff. 

Thanks Karen and Deanna for the well wishes.  I am recovering fast and enjoying life a lot more. 

great to hear things are going well. I didn't keep up with the whole surgery thread but may I ask , did you get her new method of having the incisions in the groin instead of on the labia? I was fascinated by that....of course it's 5 years too late for me haha ....labia scars 4 lyfe

In regards to your clitoris, did Marci inform you that over time it can become overly sensitive? About one year after surgery this happened to me and at times it got so extreme I had to sit down and do nothing as the sensations were (and still are) overwhelming. Went to an OBGYN and was told the hood was fine and could not figure it out. Same when I sent a photo to Marci's office. Just thought you should know this is a possibility.

Quote from: karenpayneoregon on October 05, 2016, 05:03:25 AM
In regards to your clitoris, did Marci inform you that over time it can become overly sensitive? About one year after surgery this happened to me and at times it got so extreme I had to sit down and do nothing as the sensations were (and still are) overwhelming. Went to an OBGYN and was told the hood was fine and could not figure it out. Same when I sent a photo to Marci's office. Just thought you should know this is a possibility.

Umm what do you do? This doesn't sound good., For how long has it been this way

It has been about one year now. One method I've learn to control this when it gets overwhelming is to basically not move or sometimes if wearing pants or leggings to adjust them so they are not in contact with that area. Thongs I found out will rub more than other undergarments so I am careful about not wearing them often but that is my fav undergarment.