Ok so obviously I'm thinking ahead and the choices are pretty straight forward but my thoughts are both personal and based on assumptions. At the moment I am pretty set on cosmetic but owe it to myself to properly weigh all options so would appreciate some additional thoughts.

First of all what I think I know (any/all of it could be wrong)


Cosmetic
Theoretical possibility of better aesthetics as more time can be spent on looks and there would be no function to compromise
Sensate clitoris is still possible to give a button to that part of my brain (I don't use that part but options open at minimal effort)
Penetrative vaginal sex not possible
Future surgeries possible via grafts to convert to full but not recommended
No maintenance required
Less invasive surgery
Less risk
Shorter recovery time

Full (sorry don't know a better term)
Depth and capabilities are variable and can be trained to a degree
Structurally you can also clench inside similar-ish to cis
Inexperienced sexual partners would be unlikely to notice any real difference if stealth
Varying degrees of self lubrication
Daily dilation necessary to preserve function


I'm pretty much sold on cosmetic for multiple reasons
1. I'm 38 and not getting any younger
2. Haven't indulged in any personal sexual gratification for about a year (still enjoy pleasing partner though)
3. Doubt very much I'll be settling down with a guy (still possible and mind is open but doubt it)
4. I'm a low maintenance kinda gal and cosmetic is pretty much do it then forget it ever happened
5. Dilation I think would make me feel less real instead of more every time

Surgical risks can be managed and recovery time not a real issue long term.

Boils down to dilation really the amount of work to properly dilate and look after a functional vagina on the off chance I ever decide to have sex with a guy. Seems like a lot of actual work not to mention the psych trauma of having a daily reminder as to why I have to do it. Taking a couple of tablets a day forever with my vitamins etc is no big deal but pretty sure I'd struggle with dilation.

That said I know very little about dilation beyond maintenance guidelines.
I guess I'm looking for someone to make a pitch for full.

For those that lubricate is it controllable? (unlikely but had to ask I've had enough of my body doing things on its own to last a lifetime)

For those with experience of girl/girl relationships would the lack of penetration be seen as a significant loss by self or partner?

Bit of a car crash of a post but it's the best I can get my thoughts into any cohesive fashion.
Open to any and all thoughts particularly if based on experience.

38 is not too late to start. I had my "full" GCS at 38 and so far enjoying the benefit of it (even only with myself).
I don't see dilation session as "trauma" per say, it is more a "me" time to explore myself. Considering some cis women will also need some play time to truly understand what turns them on or off. Some cis that I talked to even mentioned that they don't feel anything the first time they experienced it.

by doing the "cosmetic" way, if the right guy comes along, you might have to resort to the back door option. I am personally not too comfortable with that option that's why I rather have the "full" option.

Lubrication and being orgasmic is crapshot pretty much, if you lucky you'll have both, some will have just one, some will have none. It is not something that can be guaranteed 100%, but with the advance of medical technique the number is inching closer and closer to 100%

It is a personal choice.

For me, I want a male partner. I will need a graph and I am 54. Dilation will be a pain but the schedule will get reduced with time.

I agree on the age element but if I were half my age the chances of me pursuing sex would likely have been significantly higher 

I have to admit from your own post and a page I was just reading I am still definitely open to further thought.

I still have issues with who/what I was before so I fear that dilation would be a reminder of that but to flip it around as you said to "me time" that could be an approach I can work with.

Likewise not a fan of plan B for penetration so if sex is on the menu it has to be full from the outset.

Sex and masturbation are kinda on my block list just now as obviously any activity in my genital region freaks me out but naturally after surgery I most likely would be inclined to enjoy my body in any ways available. So if I went cosmetic it would be too late which is why I need to work it out before.

If you don't mind me asking.
How much of an impact on your life does dilation and vaginal maintenance make?
Thinking of the time cost of looking after yourself after "full" V's pleasure from it since would you consider it a fair trade?

Never too old to go after what you want but for me at 38 some days I feel like it should be 308.

Sexuality I'm still working on but my mind is growing up into the "curious" phase.  What if's are fun and of course remind me to keep my options open. That and as I understand it a fully functional vagina can be enjoyed solo and in same sex relationships.

I am starting to sway towards full but am still concerned about dilation. The psych bit I think I can work with the "me time" angle leaving just the practicalities which is a very significant step forwards.

I'm not very disciplined which is why I'm sitting here in my PJ's at 00:51 knowing I'm up at 07:00 which is a lot funnier once you know my plan for tonight was to be in bed by 18:30 for an early night as a treat to myself.

With the importance of dilation I fear the consequences of failure given I'm the girl who was having 2nd thoughts about getting braces because I didn't want to wear a retainer while I slept. Having to set aside a private 30-40 mins several times a day for months following surgery seems impossible pushing me back to cosmetic.

Definitely food for thought but it's way past time to go sleep so I'm going to stop here go do my face etc and crawl off to bed.

Thank you both for your posts.

I'm in a same-sex relationship, older than you, but still opted for a functional vagina.  I considered the 'cosmetic' option but passed.  Reasons?

1) I wanted to feel complete as a woman
2) I wanted to be anatomically correct as a female to medical professionals
3) I wanted to leave open the possibility of someday having coital sex with a man
4) The extra cost was minimal, while doing it later, expensive
5) I was not worried about complications or a longer recovery period
6) The prospect of having to dilate regularly didn't trouble me

Now nearly a year post-op, I can say that I love having a functional vagina.  I healed quickly without complications.  I feel more confident as a female in most situations.  I enjoy my daily dilation time which has been reduced to once every other day now, and is not at all painful.  It's an excuse to be alone, relax, and read a good book before turning out the light.  Vaginal penetration with a dildo is sometimes a nice complement to clitoral masturbation. 

Sexual orientation has been known to shift post-op, sometimes years later.

Thank you Clara your post really does help me a lot and the balance is shifting further on points 1-3 alone particularly 2. As with the "me time" being "complete" does help to change my perception from ghost of the past to validation.

Being as close as I can to who I was always meant to be is important to me but with aesthetics being a much higher priority than function historically. As with the development of my breasts being not fussed at first (I was too concerned with saving my mind early on) I couldn't imagine not having them now.  A functional vagina I think could follow the same path.

Dilation could simply be as much my fear of the unknown but your own portrayal of your dilation time actually seems quite pleasant. I will be doing more research into dilation later but so far it is sounding a lot less scary for both the process and long term time commitments.

Quote from: Clara Kay on October 11, 2016, 09:21:22 PM
I'm in a same-sex relationship, older than you, but still opted for a functional vagina.  I considered the 'cosmetic' option but passed.  Reasons?

1) I wanted to feel complete as a woman
2) I wanted to be anatomically correct as a female to medical professionals
3) I wanted to leave open the possibility of someday having coital sex with a man
4) The extra cost was minimal, while doing it later, expensive
5) I was not worried about complications or a longer recovery period
6) The prospect of having to dilate regularly didn't trouble me

Now nearly a year post-op, I can say that I love having a functional vagina.  I healed quickly without complications.  I feel more confident as a female in most situations.  I enjoy my daily dilation time which has been reduced to once every other day now, and is not at all painful.  It's an excuse to be alone, relax, and read a good book before turning out the light.  Vaginal penetration with a dildo is sometimes a nice complement to clitoral masturbation.

Hi Clara Kay

I have to say I agree with your sentiments, I am 52 and I would like full surgery, for some of the reason you list above. I have no intention of straying out of my marriage to "try the equipment out" but I am also not doing it for those reasons. I have limited funds and am not sure what I am actually going to be able to afford but this is a very high priority for me amongst the things I want to do surgery wise.

Liz

Quote from: Jerrica on October 11, 2016, 06:25:53 PM
If you don't mind me asking.
How much of an impact on your life does dilation and vaginal maintenance make?
Thinking of the time cost of looking after yourself after "full" V's pleasure from it since would you consider it a fair trade?

Of course I don't mind the first few months (I think it depends on your surgeon's schedule) does takes a lot of time and dedication, even more during the first 1~2 months. Pretty much you will have a hard time going out, but I take it one day at a time and keep at it.
Looking back at it, I consider it more than a just fair trade (it was ahhh.. mahzhing). It is even better than before, with the only downside is when you have to go to pee somewhere disgusting (but I guess that also goes with the "cosmetic" option)

Thank you again jfong it is good to hear of your experiences directly particularly your honesty over the dedication required Vs reward.

I consider time to be a bit like pain and money if the reward is high enough I'll pay it gladly and not look back. The "cost" of dilation is starting to seem a fairer trade and more acceptable to me.

For hygiene how do you take care of inside? Obviously external genitalia is easy for cleaning in the shower and naturally I always want to look and smell my best.

In a related topic (possibly for Clara Kay if ok with it) there is no easy way to ask but can you enjoy receiving oral sex and from your partners perspective do you feel, smell or taste particularly different from GG. It's a deeply personal question and I'm sure bodies will vary considerably but any information is more than I have.

Likewise from a males viewpoint would be good to know as anything is possible.

Full is becoming a more solid possibility but I still have more to learn. Most importantly are there any negatives apart from dilation (which is no longer seeming that bad).

Are there any situations you worry that your vagina could cause concern for you. Does it ever cause discomfort, itch or sweat if hot or exercising etc. Does it ever hurt?

Ultimately apart from ongoing dilation I can just live my life?

With regards to sex would I be enough to satisfy my partner or would I be second rate Vs GG?

Princess Joules describes her dilation process and "tools" Pretty informative as are most of her videos's.

Quote from: Jerrica on October 12, 2016, 10:53:39 AM
Thank you again jfong it is good to hear of your experiences directly particularly your honesty over the dedication required Vs reward.

I consider time to be a bit like pain and money if the reward is high enough I'll pay it gladly and not look back. The "cost" of dilation is starting to seem a fairer trade and more acceptable to me.

For hygiene how do you take care of inside? Obviously external genitalia is easy for cleaning in the shower and naturally I always want to look and smell my best.

Some say that it is self cleaning, but I do find sometimes the odour lingers (but I think it is more from the pee than the vag). Nothing that can't be fixed with a regular bath. If you need to, you can also douche with saline water (suggested by my surgeon) and nothing else.

Quote from: DawnOday on October 12, 2016, 11:42:44 AM

Princess Joules describes her dilation process and "tools" Pretty informative as are most of her videos's.

Just take it with a grain of salt. Everyone is different, and also she had complications the first few days of her surgery. I think now she's ditching the orange ones and just use the green one.

ps. I know her personally so that's where I derive my comment from.

I had the same question a little while back and posted a tread concerning surgery with vaginal canal or not. A similar discussion ensued. I am waiting for my date. I am 63 and will be going the  vaginal canal route. In the end, I came to the same conclusion as Clara, with my list being almost the same. I have no interest in males. I have always wanted to feel like the woman I always knew I am!This includes having a vagina!  That is me talking so please don't take it  that one has to have such GRS to feel female. Each of us will and should make our own decision. Doing the research not will help you when you are ready to get GRS. I am sure that there are many others who are thinking of this decision. All the Best!

Hugs,
Kelly

Thanks DawnODay been a while since I watched that one and is a good introduction to dilation scheduling and of course discussing the dilators themselves.

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I love your openness jfong and very much appreciate your help.

Your comment about odour is exactly the kind of information most wouldn't even think about but is important to me. Doesn't make or break my decision but little things count and shows how much thought is put into your replies. I know I keep saying it but thank you

Pendulum of thought swinging back the other way of cosmetic = job done. As I understand it you can still masturbate effectively (should I choose to someday) with cosmetic so it really boils down to doing "full" for another person.

Think I'll have to give some heavy thought to penetrative sex to decide it. Still loads of time but think convenience may win out in the end for me.

Quote from: Jerrica on October 12, 2016, 10:53:39 AM

In a related topic (possibly for Clara Kay if ok with it) there is no easy way to ask but can you enjoy receiving oral sex and from your partners perspective do you feel, smell or taste particularly different from GG. It's a deeply personal question and I'm sure bodies will vary considerably but any information is more than I have.

Interesting question. 

In a study of the differences in microbial flora populations within the vaginas of natal vs trans women, it was found that the pH of trans women's vaginas is higher (more alkaline) than that of a natal woman.  The higher acidity of a natal woman's vagina means that it will not support the growth of various pathogenic species which cause infection, strong odor, etc. It seems that the higher acidity is due to the presence of the lactobacillus bacteria which for some reason cannot survive in the neo-vaginas of trans women.

So, what does this mean for me personally?  Well, first, I don't douche. Dr. Chettawut told me it's not necessary unless I experience strong odor from my vagina.  I don't.  The odor is actually pleasant when I'm a bit aroused, but it's not the same as my partner's.  Still, oral sex is certainly a possibility depending on your partner's attitude about it.

Dilating on a regular basis (at 1 year post-op I dilate every other day) using a water soluble lubricant (KY or equivalent) seems to clean my vagina pretty well by itself.  I do wash my outer genitals when I shower.  I have not experienced any problems with discolored discharge or strong odors since my first month post-op. 

BTW, my outer genital area (clitoris, clitoral hood, vestibule and labia minora) is always moist (self-lubricating) from the urethral mucous tissue placed in that area during GRS.

Thank you Kelly I'm sure it's a question we all have to answer in the end and it's great to have others willing to share their experiences.

No denying the vaginal canal route is popular and with many good reasons.

It would be good to know if anyone has actually chosen cosmetic here and their thoughts after.

For myself simply being able to see all of me in a mirror without flinching or sighing is the dream and to wear whatever I want without worrying about exposure. Cosmetic would give me that without feeling any less a woman.

The optional extra (in a way) is to be able to have sex which is of variable value to us all.

Brilliant post Clara Kay thank you very much for replying and the level of detail given especially your personal intimate experiences.

The information about the self lubricating aspect is very interesting.


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