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HELP! Something is wrong with me > dick???

Started by Polo1962, October 17, 2016, 11:45:19 PM

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Polo1962

Seriously, something is WAY wrong here. I am a FTM.....doesn't take much, I have a (very) athletic boy-build, am androgynous but not butch. I am perceived as a gay boy more often than any other demographic. Before ANY T shots I was referred to as "sir" more than 75% of the time. My parents bought me men's aftershave by 10 years old because I was asking for it.... you know the story.  I am 44 years old and have been "pan" (I guess) forever although 90% of my partners have been female. NOW, I have been on T for about 6 months and have NEVER in my life lusted after dick....but now I am. Is this my true self? I have had MTF friends that have only favored women after transitioning and before they were with men primarily...is this a weird hormone switch or what???
Help me out here. I am checking out Dallas Steele (and liking it)  and 6 years ago I would have thrown up at the sight. I am pretty "ripped", not bodybuilder steroid user kind but some striations here and there with A LOT OF WORK IN THE GYM.  I have always admired the male physique but not the way I am now.

I always thought it was because I wanted to BE one not be WITH one. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME ???
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Amanda_Combs

It sounds like you're just having some anxiety about the fluidity of your sexuality.  There's nothing wrong with being attracted to whoever you're attracted to.  But there's no reason to doubt your need to be a man.  In my experience, looking at someone because you're into them and looking because you want to be them are very distinct, even if you're doing both at the same time.  Honestly, I don't think that you would have ever felt like you want to be a man if you were only looking because you're attracted to them.


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groudon18

i believe this is actually fairly common, i've heard of many straight trans men finding other men attractive after starting testosterone. i cannot relate myself because i'm gay, so there was never a switch, but i'm sure some others may be able to answer. i would also try google, something like "ftm attracted to guys after starting testosterone" it seems to happen to a lot of guys and they will talk about it. i assume it has something to do with how t raises your sexual urges in general
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Vervain

By "pan", I'm assuming you mean pansexual. If that's the case, then it sounds like the T is making the part of you that is attracted to men more active. There's nothing wrong with that!

I also know a number of trans women who identify as lesbians, but they are not by any means the only ones out there! Heterosexual or bi/pansexual trans women also exist, and there are plenty of them. Being more interested in men doesn't necessarily mean you're no longer interested in women; it just means, from what you're saying here, that you're more interested in guys than you used to be.

Maybe consider it a broadening of your sexuality? It sounds like you are worrying a lot more than you need to. And I mean, when you're on HRT and new stuff is happening with your body, it's really easy to worry, but try not to add more stress to yourself. Being trans all on its own and transitioning is stressful enough.

Take some calm, deep breaths and ask yourself if this is really worth the level of worry that you're giving it. *hugs offered* and *hot chocolate or soothing drink of choice offered*
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PrincessCrystal

Testosterone makes you lustful, and dick is an easy thing to lust after.

Nothing is strange here.
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Sophia Sage

What you look forward to has already come, but you do not recognize it.
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Kylo

There is a certain amount of anecdotal evidence to suggest HRT can have effects on sexuality, yeah. Or bring out things that were already there but less pronounced.
"If the freedom of speech is taken away, then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter."
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Sophia Sage

Quote from: T.K.G.W. on October 18, 2016, 01:48:27 PM
There is a certain amount of anecdotal evidence to suggest HRT can have effects on sexuality, yeah. Or bring out things that were already there but less pronounced.

Of course, it may not be the hormones at all.  It might be what starting HRT actually means.  For most of us, that's when transition starts getting real.
What you look forward to has already come, but you do not recognize it.
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kelly_aus

Quote from: T.K.G.W. on October 18, 2016, 01:48:27 PM
There is a certain amount of anecdotal evidence to suggest HRT can have effects on sexuality, yeah. Or bring out things that were already there but less pronounced.

There's no science to support the idea..

However, transition does seem to leave us open to accepting things we didn't before..
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LizK

Quote from: kelly_aus on October 18, 2016, 03:24:26 PM
There's no science to support the idea..

However, transition does seem to leave us open to accepting things we didn't before..

I agree there is no evidence to support this...I will suggest that HRT is the catalyst for the honesty needed to come to terms with out sexual preference. I was born a woman with a medical defect..so when I correct those "defects" why should my sexual orientation change...it doesn't...being on HRT for me just allowed my psyche enough space for me to actually deal with the issue for me. I came out realising I am basically a bi female, with preference to women because that is all I have allowed myself. My desires are the same as any other straight woman on this planet...they have always been the same...since as far back as I can remember. I can't say I was always honest about it....but then it was also very confusing for me.

Liz
Transition Begun 25 September 2015
HRT since 17 May 2016,
Fulltime from 8 March 2017,
GCS 4 December 2018
Voice Surgery 01 February 2019
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PrincessCrystal

Also, I disagree with this notion that transitioning can't expand your sexual horizons.  When I started self-feminizing, I became MUCH more comfortable with myself, especially with sex.  I'm pretty sure I was experiencing dysphoria that I wasn't aware of over things that I wasn't dealing with.  Now that I've accepted that I pretty much exclusively want to have sex from a female perspective, I've been taking some steps which rapidly feminized my body, and that's made it alot easier for me to indulge my sexuality.

If you're wanting dick from going through transition, it's probably because you weren't really comfortable with yourself: having a female body brings the expectations that you'll be the female in bed, and obviously, you don't want that.  With testosterone coursing through your veins though, you FEEL manly and ready to take the dick like a man.
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V M

The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
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