Greetings All,

Some of you have read and posted to a thread that I started (They tell me that it can't be done but I have to try) that dealt with me needing to shut Anne out of our lives (my wife and myself). We quickly came to the realization that we cannot live without her and that I just need to get used to the idea that I never really had control of my being transgender and that I may not have control of how far this needs to go. Two years ago I had no idea of any gender identity disconnect in my life. Since then my wife and I have played with cross dressing, realized gender fluidity needs, begun transitioning from no Anne to hrt, facial hair removal and looking into hair restoration and being out to half of our town....big steps but we fully believed that was the limit. Now I see that this probably needs to go further along the transition path.

My question is, "what told you, or how did you know, that you needed more?".  I don't know what more, for me, is yet, but I feel rather un-authentic about who I am. Yes, hrt is changing me in lots of good ways, I love my wardrobe, the face is getting better (way too slow and painful a process). I don't like not having my real name for my ID. I don't like some of the body parts that don't fit Anne. I don't like not living full time. But these things all were manageable before. They don't seem to be that way anymore. How did you realize that it was no longer in your control and that you needed changes?

I look forward to your responses,
Anne

For me, it all came down to the dysphoria of being misgendered, and the relief (and joy) of being correctly gendered.  The more I got gendered correctly, the more pronounced my dysphoria of being misgendered.

When I didn't know what was possible for me, it was a no-brainer to just coast and keep everything repressed.

We can't un-know what we've learned about ourselves. 

When I realized I'd rather commit suicide than continue being misgendered, it was full steam ahead. 

Quote from: Anne Blake on October 20, 2016, 06:59:45 PM

Now I see that this probably needs to go further along the transition path.
How did you realize that it was no longer in your control and that you needed changes?

I look forward to your responses,
Anne

There is a youtube series and the therapist address this in a short video ~4 minutes. Worth a look.

Quote from: Anne Blake on October 20, 2016, 06:59:45 PM
Greetings All,

Some of you have read and posted to a thread that I started (They tell me that it can't be done but I have to try) that dealt with me needing to shut Anne out of our lives (my wife and myself). We quickly came to the realization that we cannot live without her and that I just need to get used to the idea that I never really had control of my being transgender and that I may not have control of how far this needs to go. Two years ago I had no idea of any gender identity disconnect in my life. Since then my wife and I have played with cross dressing, realized gender fluidity needs, begun transitioning from no Anne to hrt, facial hair removal and looking into hair restoration and being out to half of our town....big steps but we fully believed that was the limit. Now I see that this probably needs to go further along the transition path.

My question is, "what told you, or how did you know, that you needed more?".  I don't know what more, for me, is yet, but I feel rather un-authentic about who I am. Yes, hrt is changing me in lots of good ways, I love my wardrobe, the face is getting better (way too slow and painful a process). I don't like not having my real name for my ID. I don't like some of the body parts that don't fit Anne. I don't like not living full time. But these things all were manageable before. They don't seem to be that way anymore. How did you realize that it was no longer in your control and that you needed changes?

I look forward to your responses,
Anne

Hi Anne I never put any boundaries on my transition and made no promises to my wife. My transition will be finished when I am comfortable in my own skin and no longer thinking about it on a constant basis...I hoped HRT would be enough for me. I hope HRT and social transition will be enough for me, I actually think HRT, social transition and  GCS are definitely in my future....I want to live in some peace...I know this is a tough one for you...I hope you and your wife can find some peace...I know mine has and it hasn't been a simple or easy process for her.

Take care

Liz