I tried herbal supplements earlier this year for a few days and I loved that they alleviated my depression and that my skin looked great, but the physical changes were too conspicuous, so I stopped.

Last week, I decided to give it another try, but this time I would only take half the dosage and wear a compression shirt. Again, on the first day my depression lifted off me.

I know this can be difficult to believe, but this happened not because I felt happy about making progress (I've made more drastic progress with laser hair removal and changing my exercise routine), but I think for primarily physiological reasons. Initially I felt moody, but then my mood stabilized and I felt my peripheral vision expand, and for the second time I couldn't believe that all this time I wasn't just a little stressed out, but depressed.

Now, four days have passed and even with taking half the dosage and wearing a compression shirt, the physical changes have become too conspicuous. I know this is difficult to believe and I wouldn't trust my eyes if I didn't take a before picture, but my chest has significantly grown.

Like before I thought, "Whatever, it's worth it. I may not be able fully transition now, because it would too greatly impede my responsibilities and career goals, so I'll just be more openly trans." However, then I thought, "This is going to force me to speed up my timeline. It wouldn't be as difficult as I think, because I know there is an irrational part of me that fears that the present is on precarious ground, and if I show weakness my past will leap out of the shadows. However, it would still be wiser to not divert focus from greater priorities for the next year. Not being depressed will increase my productivity, but fully transitioning would still be too great of an impediment."

So, a day ago, I stopped taking herbal supplements. I don't know if I'm depressed again, because that creeps in when I'm not paying attention, but whatever happens, I'll get on with it.

I just wanted to vent and ask for your advice. Thank you, as always, for your time, and I apologize for being vague.

Stop worrying.  Just take them.  You are likely the only person who is noticing the changes.  Even if someone does, what do you think they're going to think?  That you're medically inducing breast growth for some inappropriate reason, or that you're just changing body shape in some weird way as you get older?  If it bothers you that much, just make up a convenient lie, like that it's just the odd way your body is developing, but stop stressing over who might realize what and just keep going.

Breast tissue size is mostly fat.  It's physically impossible that any significant amount of new fat has been deposited in just a few days.  Any size you may have gotten is just water retention which will soon disappear and is likely not noticeable by anyone anyway.


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Thank you Princess Crystal and Deborah. 

I'm not worried that anyone noticed any changes, it's just that if changes continued to occur at the same rate, I would need to accelerate my timeline, which I can't do now.

If what I'm experiencing is just water retention that will soon subside, though, that would be great news!

Can anyone refer me to any information about this?

You don't need to accelerate your timeline, no one will notice.  Lady, I have been doing laser treatments, experimenting herbs, wearing makeup that I forgot to take off, including nail polish and eye liner, wearing panties, shaving my legs, moonlighting as a woman, and outright referring to myself as female.  Nobody has noticed or cared.  They aren't going to notice you getting a little plump around the nipples of the work shirt you're wearing, especially if you're trying to hide it.  Stop worrying and just keep going.

By the way, what was the mix of herbs you used?  I might want to look into them...

Thank you for your support and encouragement, Princess Crystal.

Here is a link to supplements I was taking, https://www.amazon.com/Solaray-Female-Hormone-Blend-Capsules/dp/B005FYLXR0/ref=sr_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1477234155&sr=8-1&keywords=solaray+female+hormone

I've been looking for more information on the results from herbal supplements, and some claim drastic results (b cup breasts) and some claim subtle results, so I don't know what to do yet.

I think if I'm going to take herbal supplements, I should be prepared for drastic results, which would force me to accelerate by transition, so I need to see if I can find a way to make that feasible.

I was hoping to hold off that decision for a few months and stay in first gear, even though my future self is screaming at me, "Put it in sixth! You're only going to be in your 20s once and you will always regret not starting sooner."

At one time I took a herbal supplement with the same ingredient for several years.  I did get some growth but finally stopped because it was wrecking me with daily migraine headaches. 

Nothing is going to force you to transition any faster than you want to.  Unless you walk around in a dress, nobody is going to question it.

I've got nearly two years of HRT, shoulder length hair, and often wear face powder to work to even out my skin tones. 

If people that know me notice, they don't say anything nor do they treat me badly.  Quite the opposite is true.  And that's with a hyper conservative  military crowd.

So, if the herbals are helping and reduce the dysphoria then don't worry about other people.

I would recommend though that if your goal is transition then you should be doing medically supervised HRT instead of herbals.


It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.
André Gide, Autumn Leaves

I'm gonna second what she said: see a therapist.  Talk to them about this.  They are trained to help.

That said, wow.  Those sound powerful for the price they're at.  I might add those to my regimen in a couple weeks, just to see what happens...

Quote from: Deborah on October 23, 2016, 11:54:35 AM
At one time I took a herbal supplement with the same ingredient for several years.  I did get some growth but finally stopped because it was wrecking me with daily migraine headaches. 

Nothing is going to force you to transition any faster than you want to.  Unless you walk around in a dress, nobody is going to question it.

I've got nearly two years of HRT, shoulder length hair, and often wear face powder to work to even out my skin tones. 

If people that know me notice, they don't say anything nor do they treat me badly.  Quite the opposite is true.  And that's with a hyper conservative  military crowd.

So, if the herbals are helping and reduce the dysphoria then don't worry about other people.

I would recommend though that if your goal is transition then you should be doing medically supervised HRT instead of herbals.


It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.
André Gide, Autumn Leaves

Thank you so much for your support, Deborah. 

My concern is that while swallowing hormones takes little effort, learning to be a woman takes a lot of effort. Of course, no one can force me to act like a woman, but since I already get mistaken for a girl, I don't think I will be able to pass as a man once the results from HRT become conspicuous. Therefore, if I don't learn how to pass as a woman in a span of months, I'll have social limitations imposed on me, which will be detrimental to my other goals.

It's not so much that I'm afraid of social rejection, but since I need to be able to meet new people, it's more of a concern about prejudice.

Quote from: PrincessCrystal on October 23, 2016, 01:22:42 PM
I'm gonna second what she said: see a therapist.  Talk to them about this.  They are trained to help.

I saw a therapist for over six months and therapy greatly helped me, but I dediced not to start hormones at that time.

Quote from: PrincessCrystal on October 23, 2016, 01:22:42 PM
That said, wow.  Those sound powerful for the price they're at.  I might add those to my regimen in a couple weeks, just to see what happens...

How powerful they are probably depends on many factors and what your perception of powerful is, but unless you're aiming to transition now, I wouldn't take them lightly. 

You know what just clicked to me?  You're taking an estrogen supplement, but you didn't like an anti-androgen.  Are you taking one?  Because you should: Estrogen and Testosterone don't play nice together...

Quote from: PrincessCrystal on October 27, 2016, 07:46:58 AM
You know what just clicked to me?  You're taking an estrogen supplement, but you didn't like an anti-androgen.  Are you taking one?  Because you should: Estrogen and Testosterone don't play nice together...

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought Saw Palmetto was an anti-androgen.

Also, thanks for thinking about me. It's difficult to take a step back, but I let it go. I know what I need to do before I start HRT.

I don't think you mentioned the Saw Palmetto.  I looked it up, and it does not appear to be...
http://www.healthline.com/health/testosterone-saw-palmetto#Prostate3

Quote from: autumn08 on October 27, 2016, 01:43:46 PMIt's difficult to take a step back, but I let it go. I know what I need to do before I start HRT.

Keeping in mind that this is the opposite of the advice both of us gave you, if that is the decision you are comfortable with, then go ahead and make it: it's your decision to make.  I do hope you remember our advice if it comes back to this in the future: you really are worrying a bit too much about how easily people will notice the hormonal change, and possibly even about how poorly they'll react.  You're right to be concerned, but as we said, if you're dressing and talking and acting like a man, no one is going to confront you about the changing shape of your body, because you pass as male either way.

Right now I'm just trying to do whatever I can as soon as I can, because if I try to go full-time a year from now, I'd like to have as much progress underway as possible...

I'm sure you and Deborah are correct that I'm overly cautious about changes from herbal supplements. It's just that I'm balancing many moving parts, so I'm very careful not to place too much weight in one area (the chest in this situation).

Thank you, again. I won't forget yours and Deborah's advice.

Good luck achieving as much progress as you can!