I'm in an odd kinda situation rn. It's like I'm trans but I'm not.
Basically, I seem to be trans in every single way. Dysphoria, disconnection, general unease, social dysphoria, longing to be male, ect... I seem to have gotten what is definetly dysphoria, even stuff I didn't know was dysphoria to begin with. And I've gotten it since I was a kid. Hell, I even get a male body map or something. Like I KNOW what it's like to be male and it physically feels like I am one? It's basically that I am what is obviously a transsexual.
EXCEPT!!! It all seems to be toned down. Like it's all on a low setting and can on occasion flare up some. Idk if I'm really trans, because I seem ok. And at times, I seem to be able to be totally fine. Idk. I just feel a part of me is ok, and sometimes I even feel cis? Like I'm connected and not dysphoric at the moment. It's odd. I rarely get it and I don't even really understand it yet, so I can't give a proper description of it rn.
To kinda wrap it up tho, all my trans feelings and dysphoria and stuff is so toned down and I think I'm ok/not trans but idk

I suggest doing research on genders that kinda go outside of the gender binary. I could be wrong, but what you're describing sounds like you may be in some way nonbinary. There are many trans people that don't identify strictly as "male" or "female." Some people identify as one gender one day and then another gender another day. Many people call this being "genderfluid." Some people don't identify as any gender, and the widely used term for that is "genderqueer" (though many people, especially younger ones, are uncomfortable with using the q word, so this name might change eventually). Many people have described this stuff and much more far better than I could, so i suggest looking into it.

To add to the above post, you might look at our WIKI as it contains a good starting point for non binary identities. In addition, I have 3 more links that you might want to look at that are non binary related. If you feel a link doesn't apply, feel free to skip over it.

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,202966.0.html

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,201219.0.html

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,196073.0.html