Quote from: Dena on September 17, 2016, 10:23:28 PM
About 5 years. It took that long to run the medical gauntlet and find places where I could get information on things as simple as makeup wigs and hair. Even electrolysis was an unknown quantity and I wasn't able to start it until I found a source of information and then I needed to put in enough time so I could go stealth without a beard interfering. I know to many of you the transition seems difficult but imagine attempting it without the internet or a doctor within 400 miles who knows anything about treating transgenders. That is what I started out with.

My Angels cap is off to you Dena for making it possible for people like me to realize our reality. I liken you to Louis and Clark, Magellan, Alan Shepard discovering new worlds. Your courage and persistence is awe inspiring.

Quote from: DawnOday on September 19, 2016, 11:32:52 AM
My Angels cap is off to you Dena for making it possible for people like me to realize our reality. I liken you to Louis and Clark, Magellan, Alan Shepard discovering new worlds. Your courage and persistence is awe inspiring.

More like to dumb to know it was impossible so I did it anyway.

Quote from: becky.rw on September 19, 2016, 11:22:59 AM
I don't know how long it will take for me, but I do know that each little piece of her I claim in the open brings an amount of comfort that greatly exceeds the fear that preceded it.     I do remain a very quiet, subtle, discreet person, and do not like to be noticed for any reason; I'd thought that was fear, embarrassment, or dysphoria or something related, but it isn't; its just who I am.

Thus I will be, whether the world likes it or not, a very quiet, subtle, discreet woman, hopefully not too many years in the future.

Yes. Each step is like "a rite of passage". Both pros and cons. But I was eventually released into a free world.

barbie~~

Quote from: EmilyMK03 on September 18, 2016, 01:08:21 AM
It's not like we're living in Dubai where if you start living as a different gender, you're going to be arrested, go to jail, or worse.  There is nothing stopping you from living as your authentic self...  except your own self-created fear and self-induced transphobia.  And if that is what is really stopping you, I'd make the argument that you don't really have severe gender dysphoria at all.  Because if you really had severe gender dysphoria (GD), you would start living full-time as a woman right now.  This very instant.
....
Of course, if you can wait to go full-time, by all means, wait.  It will make life easier for you.  Planning ahead is a good thing.  But if you're delaying going full-time because of some self-induced fear or self-loathing, then you have some real issues that you need to work out first.  Maybe with a therapist.

i read that, and hmm no i dont thinks thats entirely right.. dont get me wrong, it may be true for a very few..and they have more courage than others to do that.. and someone amazing to lean on.

often there is a great need to rocket forward and do it right away, but the desire to blend and disappear into society is even greater. like myself, if i could pass tomorrow you better believe i would just do it. but because of my genetics thats not possible, and i have a strong desire to blend and vanish into society and not be clocked. already i am getting dirty looks from a few people (male and female, u should hear my Dad what he says about my hair ) because of my growing hair..

Some need to break out, make friends and a whole support group.. so that when family turn their backs on you, you have a new family to call on and be with. someone to run to, if your family are waiting at your house to take a piece out of you (verbally) or physically

I was lucky enough to meet a therapist who has helped TS most of her career and with her help have discovered something important.

its best to have goals, goals that are achievable and a plan you can follow. otherwise its easy to be discouraged and to loose hope.. small reachable goals, gives one courage and hope to reach for the next one and feel as if you are getting somewhere. money and a job is another very good reason to take it little slower..

my advice go as fast as is comfortable to you.. if you rush and feel insecure, slowdown and take a breath and evaluate where you are and readjust your goals. make them achievable goals.

For me it was combination of courage and how bad I wanted it. Thank God I push myself to be authentic  no matter how scared I was. I took me 11 months I started small and safe and worked to the hardest people. To deal with hard cases I surrounded myself around supporting people to provide positive peer pressure. I am now out absolutely to the world and work and everywhere. I tell you something having your driver liscence with my true gender and name really gave me permission to let go. Put yourself at advantage by getting your HR behind you by letting them know in advance. Coming out full time is about owning your power. I am so far from perfect but, at least I can say this girl did it her way. Finding my female  voice is my last hurdle but, I am still so happy I let go of my fears it has been liberating. Hang in there😘❤️
Michelle

Quote from: ChiGirl on September 16, 2016, 09:23:11 PM
I stopped fighting it [...] Some people go fast, some go slow, but you go at your pace.

I like this. The first time I went to the GiC I was a bit OMG afterwards because it was all about demonstrating RLE and they wanted me to tie up loose ends I had left. I actually found that quite helpful in the end because it stopped me sitting on the fence with some people and organisations. That's not for everyone though: we all go at different paces with this. Each step provides a chance to test it out and evaluate how we feel about it.

Good luck Confetti x

It took awhile, as I'm fairly poor and make up and clothing were expensive. I was actually on hormones for about a month before I found any proper clothes (I couldn't rationalize spending money on clothing that I couldn't wear yet at a time when I was struggling for food).

In my case, according to my family and my myself , I transitioned first then came out later lol. I've always been really feminine and once I turned 15, I was already wearing girls clothes and makeup and grew my hair out. My dad then was like "girl, you're trans" and I was confused, I didn't know what trans was. I was just doing what I wanted to do and that was that, everyone was just going to have to deal. Then I met another trans girl and my parents put me on HRT and the rest is history

Quote from: Aria94 on October 01, 2016, 07:40:29 AM
In my case, according to my family and my myself , I transitioned first then came out later lol. I've always been really feminine and once I turned 15, I was already wearing girls clothes and makeup and grew my hair out. My dad then was like "girl, you're trans" and I was confused, I didn't know what trans was. I was just doing what I wanted to do and that was that, everyone was just going to have to deal. Then I met another trans girl and my parents put me on HRT and the rest is history

nice, i am so happy you have supportive parents...

like some here, our parents are only supportive if we meet and do their views and advice. otherwise its war or i told you so..

Quote from: VeronicaMJ on October 01, 2016, 04:03:17 PM
nice, i am so happy you have supportive parents...

like some here, our parents are only supportive if we meet and do their views and advice. otherwise its war or i told you so..

Yeah, I'm very thankful and blessed for my family. My dad passed away last week and it is very hard without him because he's been one of my biggest supporters.

that's sad..

Sent from my HUAWEI TAG-L22 using Tapatalk

Quote from: Aria94 on October 01, 2016, 08:34:53 PM
Yeah, I'm very thankful and blessed for my family. My dad passed away last week and it is very hard without him because he's been one of my biggest supporters.

I am sorry to hear that. Time will cure your sorrow. Yes. You will cherish the memory of your dad.

My dad is neutral to my ->-bleeped-<-, but he is too old to understand everything on it.

barbie~~

Quote from: barbie on October 02, 2016, 05:24:46 AM
I am sorry to hear that. Time will cure your sorrow. Yes. You will cherish the memory of your dad.

My dad is neutral to my ->-bleeped-<-, but he is too old to understand everything on it.

barbie~~

Thank you love. I have older parents as well. You are gorgeous btw ❤️

The first time my mom was told by a therapist that I am transgender was when I was about 13 1/2. I didn't actually start living full time until I was about 18. It was still a process with various other things I wanted to do such as growing my hair, taking hormones, wearing more feminine clothes. Even after that there might be some people to pop out of the woodwork not knowing about it. They definitely call it a transition for a reason.
Anyway, I am 24 now. The only reason I didn't go "fulltime" when I was 13 1/2 was because of still being in school and   my mother begging and pleading me not to go to school that way. She finally agreed to let me transition after high school.
When it comes to the word fulltime, I usually find it complex because I always felt different, but it was more a matter of actually integrating certain things into my life that weren't already there. It is difficult to explain.
I think the point is that "coming out" and transition are two things that I do regularly just through the act of living authentically.
So in short, I started living fulltime about 5 years after I initially disclosed it to a therapist. Then I gradually continued the process up until now.

I moved through things pretty quickly. I came out in May of 2014 on the most part went full time in very early July 2014. So it was a matter of about a couple months. I knew at that point that I couldn't wait and I needed to move forward with things for my own health. This was my second go and transition so I was used to being out in public as female already based on my transition. This time I was ready to over come my short comings and move quickly from coming to Full. My mom and brother were the first ones I told. Hugs
Mariah

Quote from: Aria94 on October 01, 2016, 07:40:29 AM
In my case, according to my family and my myself , I transitioned first then came out later lol. I've always been really feminine and once I turned 15, I was already wearing girls clothes and makeup and grew my hair out. My dad then was like "girl, you're trans" and I was confused, I didn't know what trans was. I was just doing what I wanted to do and that was that, everyone was just going to have to deal. Then I met another trans girl and my parents put me on HRT and the rest is history

15? Fantastic.

When I was 15 my first ever hormones arrived from Amsterdam, my father intercepted and went absolutely ballistic. It took my another 30 years before I could start transitioning ...

About a week or so and with no regrets other than taking forever to get to self acceptance.  A lifetime of denial, fear, shame and self loathing were apparently not healthy for me, duh!

When I graduated high school I told my mom and close friends I'm gonna transition before I even got hormones. But most other people that know me found out through others or me after I was already full time for awhile. Oops. It's been about 3 years and people from the past are still finding out. Not everyone's gonna find out at first

I transitioned piecemeal.  I came out first at support group, and a week later started presenting appropriately.  Then at home, a couple months after coming out.  Eventually in public (you know, grocery stores, eating out, etc.) which didn't really involve coming out, just going for it.  Then with family and friends -- I came out to them about 3 months after that first support group, with another 6 months before going full time.  In the interim I finally started HRT and going full time with my therapist.

However, never did come out at work.  I waited until my surgeries and zapping were done and paid for, because there was no way on earth I was going to possibly jeopardize financing the key pieces of my transition.  And then, rather than come out at work, I simply left and got a new job, thus preserving my privacy.

After intensive therapy for a couple of years I had already decided that transitioning wasn't optional, rather it was imperative. My partner was the only person who knew, other than the therapist.

In June 2015 I came out to my daughters and was obligated to come out to my ex (separated 5 years by that time). She immediately filed new custody papers, claiming my very accepting daughters were being traumatized.

In September 2015 I came out at work in a letter as I left on sick leave for FFS with Dr. Deschamps-Braly.

The last time I ever referred to myself as male were the days leading up to surgery. I arrived at the hospital in female clothing and never again did anything "male" - and I have never EVER regretted my choice. My legal name and gender change were already in process and were official before I returned to work.

I will admit that the "light-switch" approach is not the easiest, I am very fortunate to have had the ability to lead off with FFS, although the settling of swelling and general 'lumpiness' associated with the surgery took quite a while to subside. And really my ability to pass has been a gradual process over the course of a year, only now am I able to feel like I'm truly passing as a woman most places I go.

Mia