Hey, I own a harness and some dildoes, I don't know the name but it's still available as they're very smooth and on the smaller size. But I've never used them although I tried putting on the harness once or twice because the idea of using the harness in sex makes me really anxious. It really triggers my dysphoria I guess and I'm afraid that awkwardly using an implement will make me hurt my partner since I won't have that physical feedback like using a finger. I feel like I should really try again though because I am not feeling functional sexually but I've made a decision to put off bottom surgery for a while (honestly, I'm in no position to do it next year so it's going to be a while). So if you felt dysphoric about a harness, how did you overcome that?

I like the thought of using a strap on but don't like the thought of using a harness for the reasons you mentioned. I might buy this if I have some extra cash bcos it looks more masculine:

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=27629

As for using a strap on I would just just say go slow annd gradual at first. Sorry I don't have any first hand experience to help.

Quote from: AnxietyDisord3r on October 08, 2016, 12:07:24 PM
Hey, I own a harness and some dildoes, I don't know the name but it's still available as they're very smooth and on the smaller size. But I've never used them although I tried putting on the harness once or twice because the idea of using the harness in sex makes me really anxious. It really triggers my dysphoria I guess and I'm afraid that awkwardly using an implement will make me hurt my partner since I won't have that physical feedback like using a finger. I feel like I should really try again though because I am not feeling functional sexually but I've made a decision to put off bottom surgery for a while (honestly, I'm in no position to do it next year so it's going to be a while). So if you felt dysphoric about a harness, how did you overcome that?

Morning, I can't help much but I can try with my experience.
As for overcoming that harness issue, I found it helped me to use it for packing when around the house and when doing things in the basement. Might feel funky at first, but after awhile I didnt notice it anymore, and as silly as it may seem it ended up feeling like you just slipping on a pair of boxers. That also helped alot to built up the confidence to use it effectively without thinking to much about it anymore when it came down to getting it on.
As for hurting your partner during intercourse, communication is the key. Like Elis, I too think slow and steady to start wins the race to get a feeling. I do suggest not having a too long of a dildo tho, because that does end up hurting your partner. (at least that was the feedback I recieved years ago from my wife.)
Hope this helped somehow! I am open to questions tho. =)

I agree with the get used to packing while wearing a harness, then get used to sex with a harness idea. That is what I had to do. I also got a very thin harness. There's not really too much to it, and it's very comfortable so I could easily forget that I'm wearing it.

I had a very nice leather harness for a period of time and always felt uncomfortable with it. It was cumbersome to put on. Having to stop and do all the straps and the leather was cold at first. It was like a shield on my pelvic area. All of it was just not great. The worst moodkiller....
I later tried the rodoh line and I have no complaints. It slips on like underwear and moves with my body. Its actually hugs the dildo closer to me then my very expensive leather harness ever did. Now I can pleasure my partner with feeling like the dildo is an extension of me. She has never been able to be satisfied from cis guys but even with a fake piece of anatomy I've been able to get her there unlike any and all of the cis guys with their own anatomy!
I know buying another harness product sounds like a pain but there is a reason rodoh blew up in the queer market. It's just a good product.

I made my own harness with tan elastic.  I made the first piece to fit snug but loose around my waist that closes around believe it or not an elastic hair tie.  I then attached two inner straps in the center front about an inch from where the hair tie is and down between your legs and up to the center of your thigh, then temporarily pin the straps till you feel comfortable with the fit, then sew them.  If I can sew this anyone can.  because it is tan and elastic, it is very comfortable to wear.  you can sew extra pieces of elastic to keep your device from wiggling.  I wear mine all day with my STP and wash it regularly.  I made a few so I can swap them out.  I was very dysphoric about the black material against my lighter skin. good luck!

You can get men's funderwear that might function for what you need where they have a "hole" in the front. I've considered something like this in the past for packing with an stp (though perhaps not the studded leather ones ). I found that some of the options were less expensive than ones specific to either trans people or women and I found it appealing (because dysphoria) that they are designed for cis males. Not sure how well they'd work for this, and perhaps not all of them would, but it might be worth looking into.

I don't know if you're in the market for a new prosthetic, but there are some pack & plays that don't require a harness. Reelmagik has a few models that can be adhered directly to your skin, and IIRC the new Bono from Transthetics doesn't require a harness either. They're both on the pricier side, though, so if not, I would also suggest some kind of packing underwear like the Rodeohs.

I can't stand harnesses so much... that I frankly got one which doesn't require it. Harnesses really make me dysphoric and I had a freetom and I didn't enjoy sex with it so much, that I frankly became a 'bottom' for a fair amount of time. I came across the Fun Factory Share accidentally while checking out a sex store. I got it super recently so I've only done it once, but man, it's the best thing ever! All you have to do is insert the other end inside you, if you're okay with that, of course and you're great to go! I read that it slips out the first few times you use it, so I'm getting the hang of it currently.

Quote from: graspthesanity on February 21, 2017, 03:11:52 PM
I can't stand harnesses so much... that I frankly got one which doesn't require it. Harnesses really make me dysphoric and I had a freetom and I didn't enjoy sex with it so much, that I frankly became a 'bottom' for a fair amount of time. I came across the Fun Factory Share accidentally while checking out a sex store. I got it super recently so I've only done it once, but man, it's the best thing ever! All you have to do is insert the other end inside you, if you're okay with that, of course and you're great to go! I read that it slips out the first few times you use it, so I'm getting the hang of it currently.

I got the share with my Ex, it was fun the first few times but both of us were way to into sex for it to stay in if you catch my drift. Both of our muscles are pretty toned but gravity and some lubrication always beat out. Now I'm looking to sell it hahah

Quote from: VictorMike on January 27, 2017, 07:31:35 PM
I made my own harness with tan elastic.  I made the first piece to fit snug but loose around my waist that closes around believe it or not an elastic hair tie.  I then attached two inner straps in the center front about an inch from where the hair tie is and down between your legs and up to the center of your thigh, then temporarily pin the straps till you feel comfortable with the fit, then sew them.  If I can sew this anyone can.  because it is tan and elastic, it is very comfortable to wear.  you can sew extra pieces of elastic to keep your device from wiggling.  I wear mine all day with my STP and wash it regularly.  I made a few so I can swap them out.  I was very dysphoric about the black material against my lighter skin. good luck!

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Hi,I've been looking for something for my STP and other prosthetics and I think you've created just what I need as I like my balls to hang freely and be able to wear looser underwear over the top.
Thank you very much for sharing with us.


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