Hey there once again,

Still here pre-transition. Talking with a therapist to sort things out. I was a little curious as to why most people say they could not sleep and such before transition... For me it's all the opposite. Somehow, throughout the day I feel like a male/female inside sorta. Like a mix. However, just when I wake up (since I don't have a mirror in my roof lol...) I feel 100% as if I was a woman... Like literally there a woman lying in bed. As if I was to see my image at that exact moment a female shows up on the other side of the mirror.. This is really weird to me because then it dies off several minutes after waking up. Is it my subconscious? My confusion arises since most people say they can't sleep, due to the severe anxiety. But wouldn't it feel good for other to feel like I do in the morning?
I have issues waking up in the morning, I don't think related to wanting to be in bed due to the way I feel, but rather depression caused by everything.

I know that for me it was an undefined anxiety. I work in a job that goes through very busy cycles. So every so often I would get to a spot where depression and exhaustion would let me sleep for many hours. Then, when I caught up on my sleep, depression and anxiety would keep me up most of the rest of the night.

I am by no means done. However, since starting therapy and some steps of transition I sleep much better. Find I can wake up. Things are more balanced.

Don't know if that answers your questions but...

With warmth,

Joanna

I think I feel at my cutest / most effiminate when I'm rolling around in bed with my stuffed animals and all that.  I don't have a sleeping problem from my gender issues, just from PTSD, but embracing my femininity seems to be helping with that.  I find the euphoria I experience from being female is very re-associating.

I feel very feminine when I first wake up. Sometimes that feeling goes away rapidly, sometimes it lasts all day. I'm not out at work yet but when I'm feeling really girly I will wear clear mascara and pretty jewelry with my guy clothes.

I guess it is kind of the opposite for me. Often at night or in the morning I feel at
my worst and not very female at all. I think part of this is getting up to use the
bathroom and seeing myself in the mirror. Later in the day when I have nice
clothes on and wearing makeup I usually feel a lot better.