...who knows you are transgender?  Dee and I were shopping (me in boy mode) today and we were in a Lane Bryant store buying a skirt and a couple of blouses.  I said something to the woman who was checking us out and she replied, "Yes ma'am.  I mean, yes sir.  I say yes ma'am all day and and it's a habit."  I just laughed and told her, "It's no problem.  I'm transgender and either one works for me at the moment."  She looked a little surprised and then just smiled.  I think I've just gotten to the point I'm too old to worry about it. 

Last week.  I was in the drugstore in boy mode with a trans friend, shopping for makeup for me.  My friend was telling me what products I needed.

When the sales lady came over to help us, my friend pointed at me and said, "It's for her."  I quickly suppressed my instincive "Eek!" response and admitted that it was indeed for me.  Full sensitivity points to the sales lady, who didn't bat an eye.  She just, very helpfully, suggested colours that would go well with my skin and eye colours.

I am still not ready to be fully out yet in my community.  But I am getting better at not caring in specific contexts.

I don't think I'll ever "not care" until there's no especial risk to me from society.

I don't care if my friends know, but it's not something I want others to know or probably ever particularly will feel like doing it. But I'm not the most trusting soul on the planet and I haven't seen the best of people in life, and I'm expecting with events as they are in the world we're going to see a surge in far-right views to counter the far-left views, and I don't especially trust the far of anything with my safety.

I believe that I would use different words than "not caring". I am out in Anne mode 70% to 80% now. I am also wrestling with the concept of authenticity. Other than pushing to consider moving deeper into transitioning with name change, full time and maybe srs in the future, I am getting tired of hiding the fact that I am transgender. I find myself openly sharing who/what I am with more and more people. Not not caring but perhaps caring too much to hide myself.

Anne

I guess I do care even if I'm 58. I do hate being called sir even if I'm in boy mode.
But then if the opposite happens and I am gendered right even when I'm not trying
it makes me ecstatic. I was waiting at the airport security line, not dressed at all
female and when I got to the front the woman said "Mam next". She then got all
flustered when I brought my license and board pass to her .. but I of course it made
me happy and I told her it was no problem at all.

Kath

First of all I'm proud to be TG and a woman. In Thailand we are the 3rd gender. We are just another person and they have no gender in their addressing a person. Thus when they address in English to a male, female or TG they often use sir. I dont even bat an eye.

To me its the disrespect for me, as the 3rd gender, that offends me. That look or sneer. That is what I will not accept. This attitude sadly, even in Thailand comes from tourists....especially Europeans. I tend to outright confront them with the local support as I speak fluent Thai. The TG community defend each other and over 10 pct ate TGs.

Thays why I live here in peace, acceptance and harmony.

I've never cared either way.  I experience alot of Euphoria from being female, but only very mild dysphoria from being male: I have a preference, but I'm a bit apathetic.  I would be annoyed at being misgendered when I am literally in a dress and makeup, but mainly because that's incredibly rude to knowingly misgender someone.

I care but much less.

It all started in a major way when I went full time. I care but 1% now. For me, I think RLE helped me in dealing with who I am and letting everyone else know this is me, trans. Now I care but it has extremely little effect on me.

From a different, as in 6ft tall and balding since 14 perspective, in "Male Mode" I've never been mis-gendered.

Not giving a "Rat's Ass" what some one else may think of feel or see me as.... Well, after the first time after many attempts decades earlier when I walked out out into the light of day and felt so perfectly right right in the world being the real ME... That is when I stopped caring and realizing; My Joy, trumps their .... whatever

JoanneB, So well stated! "I walked out out into the light of day and felt so perfectly right right in the world being the real ME". That, for me, is what it is all about, when life meets magic. Thank you for reminding me of it. - Anne

Quote from: kathb31 on October 25, 2016, 10:34:32 PM
I guess I do care even if I'm 58. I do hate being called sir even if I'm in boy mode.
But then if the opposite happens and I am gendered right even when I'm not trying
it makes me ecstatic. I was waiting at the airport security line, not dressed at all
female and when I got to the front the woman said "Mam next". She then got all
flustered when I brought my license and board pass to her .. but I of course it made
me happy and I told her it was no problem at all.

Kath

I have to go through all these hoops to change my name (and it will be expensive). But I am getting to the point where handing over my credit card can be quite embarrassing. Times I wish I had a more gender neutral name...

Starting to not care.  Just beginning transition, so far out only to therapist, electrologist, wife, Sephora and Starbucks.

Been wearing some kind of  androgynous women's tops to work.  No one has said anything to me so far. 

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

Quote from: BeverlyAnn on October 25, 2016, 04:50:57 PM
...who knows you are transgender?  Dee and I were shopping (me in boy mode) today and we were in a Lane Bryant store buying a skirt and a couple of blouses.  I said something to the woman who was checking us out and she replied, "Yes ma'am.  I mean, yes sir.  I say yes ma'am all day and and it's a habit."  I just laughed and told her, "It's no problem.  I'm transgender and either one works for me at the moment."  She looked a little surprised and then just smiled.  I think I've just gotten to the point I'm too old to worry about it.

...everyone apart from some acquaintances...and I guess my local neighbourhood...although I have been outside of it plenty of times. Do I care? no I don't

I am at the point in my transition where despite knowing from a logical point of view that I still want a few things completed before I go fulltime to give me the best chance. The reality is that despite physical changes they will not be enough on their own to make me pass without all the psychological stuff being right. So my thinking is as follows...if I am going to catch grief from bigots for being me then it is unlikely to matter how "perfect " my presentation is. At the moment I get issues when in Androgynous mode and I figure if I am going to cop that kind of grief anyway  then I may as well be comfortable and present myself as I want.

I am not sure that "how I look" or wether I "pass" or not is going to determine when I go fulltime. It is like an intensely painful itch that I have to scratch and each day containing the itch gets harder and harder. As this happens I care less and less about how people view me. Most don't care and I don't care about most!!

I can feel myself being propelled into going fulltime very, very soon. Pass, no pass is a secondary consideration. I have got to find some way to stop this dysphoria from continuing to disrupt my life.

Liz

Liz, you've got an excellent point. Pass of not, when that itch gets bad enough we have to do what we have to do.

My original plan was to wait for HRT to work its magic, a year or so anyway, and electrolysis to get to the point where much of my face was cleared.

Man plans.  God laughs.

Now I'm full time after  4 1/2 months of HRT, get "Sir'd" by anyone not expecting me to pay them, and radically altering my life.

So it goes.