Windows 10 ate my post twice, even Windows hates me x.x

I'm a really, really selfish person, you know? They passed up so many opportunities and made so many sacrifices for me.
So much time and money was invested. They didn't even have much of a youth before bringing the burden that is me into the world. And how do I repay them? By tearing down everything they worked hard to build up. Their greatest project and greatest failure, me.

My mother even grew up in extreme, extreme poverty working hard to claw her way up in the world.
I'm nothing more than a burden. I've been a parasitic leech draining away at them from the moment I was born.
It would have been better, if I never existed. It would break their hearts if they knew how I wanted to sabotage myself and everything they've built up.

They worked hard at so many soul destroying jobs just to support me with some people treating them worse than dirt.

I won't even be able to take care of them in the future for all they've done as the various surgeries, etc. would drive my finances into the ground. It's questionable whether I would even be able to fend for myself, let alone for them.
Who in the world would stand up for a worthless piece of trash like me? Even the insects crawling around on the ground have a far greater purpose than me.

That is one way to look at it but there is another. Each day is a new opportunity and you have the choice to make things a little bit better. If you do that often enough, your future will be better. I started my transition with nothing and by continuing to work at it even when I had set backs, things got better. A few weeks ago I took a look at my retirement plan and I found going from nothing and paying the price of a transition, I should have a comfortable retirement. You are young and time is on your side if you chose to properly use it.

I would stand up fór such a worthless piece of trash like you anytime, Xirafel...I have to admit; you are quite annoying sometimes..just today I've been thinking about you and I think I know why. You remind me of myself couple of years back. And it's so hard to look back. Similar situation, thoughts, parents. The only thing I can say is that your parents probably want just one thing for you. Ultimately, to be happy. And they imagine your happiness as a success in life. It will take some time to adjust them to the new reality but in the end they should accept you. They just want you to be happy, even though their perspective is different from yours. You have the same starting point. Build on that ☺

Have a wonderful day, beautiful Xirafel!

I know the feels. I just got to the point were i just stop caring for people. Because the more you care about other's. The worst u fell. So i just stop talking to them being around them. I ignore there attempts to talk to me. Last i heard my father had cancer and was dieing. I'm to the point i don't care, I fell hollow about them and actively to avoid them and any conflict i find.

I have a host of illnesses that keep me from working, and I have so many days like this, feeling like I'm nothing but a burden.

But I'm not, and you're not. You have a purpose....you just may not have found it yet. But you will.

Uh oh, she started throwing up blood from all of the stress and anxiety. Uh, I think doing this might push them over the edge.