Quote from: lori25 on October 29, 2016, 02:51:48 AMI've just been reading about how the orgasms can be more intense from HRT, but I haven't experienced any of this as I assume it's too early (5 months). I've actually been experiencing more negative aspects. It's been painful after stimulation, and there has been redness and swelling afterward which could be considered physical trauma.
Interesting. I'm on hormones for a little over three months now and my psychologist warned me about loss of libido. I wasn't too concerned about that, because I already was a complete bottom before transitioning and don't believe my enjoyment of sex was testosterone based to start with. Before I started transitioning, my sexuality was some kind of safe zone in which I could freely experience and express my femininity. Being made aware of my male traits just triggered my dysphoria. I hardly get any erections because of the t blockers (I take Androcur) and love it.
I'm finding out that it's other places on my body and a different set of interactions that turn me on now. A few weeks ago, I did have a massive orgasm like never before, that lasted for fifteen minutes. I was spooning in bed with my boyfriend and he just stroked my skin, which already made me purr. He then started stroking my breasts that are extremely sensitive (growth disks just started forming) and after a short while waves of orgasmic bliss just filled my body from head to toe. It was very intense, but it wasn't focused on my genitalia. I did have a stiffy during that experience, but didn't even feel inclined to touch myself.
I'm finding out that it's intimacy triggering me and my skin and breasts became so sensitive. The absence of this biological need to ejaculate is just liberating. I kind of try to not entirely lose touch with my male genitalia, because when I have received my SRS I will still have the same nerve ends that I do plan to enjoy in that way. So I try not to entirely lose touch with them, but certainly wouldn't want to overstimulate them. I tried to play with myself a few times, but stopped halfway because I was just bored.
QuoteI have been "dormant" for a few months due to no longer having this involuntary sex drive, and I later learned that you basically have to use it or lose it - I'm not sure what that means beyond the obvious, so any detail would be greatly appreciated (i.e., do you lose function completely if left unstimulated, do years of HRT completely take away the ability to have an erection)
To me that means, that you can lose your sensitivity to genital sexual stimulation by paying no attention to it anymore. One can "unlearn" it.
QuoteI'm concerned because I want to stay pre op. I don't want any surgical alterations, and I would like to be intimate with women as a cis male would. I jumped into HRT mostly ignorant in this particular subject field, just assuming things would be nearly the same as before minus sperm production. The pain and swelling quickly snapped me out of reality, and that was only at 4-5 months time. I'm just needing to know if I'm in way over my head here, and if it's worth getting off HRT and just accepting myself as an unmediated trans woman. I do feel much better mentally and emotionally on HRT, but if I'm constantly haunted by sex being physically uncomfortable or the fact that I'll always feel sub par to cis men when with a woman I'm not sure if I can handle that all of my life - Will I be able to have normal intercourse with a woman as the years go on with HRT?
Pain and swelling are signs of overstimulation. Maybe you are trying to maintain the kind of lbido that you had pre hormones, attempt to stick with that mode of male experience? I don't believe that will work on HRT, although there still is enjoyment. Rather than holding on to the experience I was used of pre hormones, I just go with the flow and am in the process of rediscovering my sexuality. You may be attached to the idea of continuing a male sexual experience, but it seems your body is telling you a different story.
