I eventually plan to move away, but if I i became stealth, it would be on accident. I spent a long time in my life being quiet about things going on due to upbringing and the more I get my confidence, the more out I am as myself until I transition.  I don't speak about everything like I used to, but if a question was asked and i felt the person was decent, I would answer without it being an issue. I would have no issue sharing and it's my responsibility what would happen in a certain respect.

When I move, I just feel I would be entering another world, as myself quietly-outloud (being my self without forcing others to accept me). I wouldn't want to hide, but more get away from the people who would not or never love or respect me for who I am. Surround yourself with people who care, and the ones who don't won't bother as much as they used to.

Quote from: SlateRDays on October 28, 2016, 11:02:27 AMI eventually plan to move away, but if I i became stealth, it would be on accident. I spent a long time in my life being quiet about things going on due to upbringing and the more I get my confidence, the more out I am as myself until I transition.  I don't speak about everything like I used to, but if a question was asked and i felt the person was decent, I would answer without it being an issue.

What if no one asks?

Quote from: Sophia Sage on October 28, 2016, 04:20:56 PM
What if no one asks?

If no one asked, they would still end up knowing depending on their relation to me. So if it's a group I hang with often, and we're getting much closer, I would share it in relation to the topic at hand, but not awkwardly.

If it's a relationship, I would tell up front and at an appropriate time. I'm a pretty.. somewhat semi-traditional person in how I view relationships. Being built on trust, communication, etc. If I told someone who I wanted to one day be my wife and she refused or showed honest sign of rejection, I would respectfully move on. Even though I haven't transitioned, I've felt that it was better to tell up front and deal with the rejection to keep myself from getting too deep in things.

Case in point, I was dating someone online some years ago and we took the time to chat and everything, and I felt we had a good rapport, but I decided to tell them that I was a trans individual and I asked her if she was comfortable and ok with that. She said she didn't know and then eventually said yes. But as we continued it became obvious she was embarrassed by me and eventually told me it wouldn't work and she just couldn't get with it and just disappeared.

A year after, I dated another woman, and while we didn't remain committed long, she trully and honestly accepted me for who I was and we were able to communicate about anything without judgement. Circumstances came up and it was best we split, but it showed me the possibilities if one acts with honesty and integrity in what it means to them as an individual. Though I don't date anymore, I would have no issue sharing that information if it was necessary or with the right people /persons. I aim to surround myself with accepting individuals and that means I have to be responsible with who I allow into my life.

It's a process in the long run, but it's worth it in time.

Quote from: alienbodybuilder on October 25, 2016, 09:58:43 AM
Would it be hard for you to give up relationships that you had prior to coming out as trans and transitioning and move away to remain stealth for the rest of your life? Would you live a double life and keep the old people separate from the new people you meet and don't tell you are trans? What about starting a new facebook page?

I'm getting prepared to quit my job and move to California to start my life over.  I have changed my identity completely from birth certificate to social security record, drivers license,  everything that identifies me.  I have no relationships and I'm not even going to tell my parents so it will be pretty easy for me.  I won't have to worry about being misgendered or dealing with ->-bleeped-<-s.  I will never let a medical professional examine me below the waist.  I'm asexual, and have no interest in romance.  I'm also a classic introvert so with all that it will be really easy for me to live totally stealth.

sure , theres nothing wrong with wanting to live a peaceful life, I myself am the definition of the anti social, reclusive artist, My work is my life and Im not very good with being out there and dealing with people,  even doing openings of my paintings is hard for me having to talk with potential buyers and having to talk with reporters ect. more the reason I kept being trans out of it for many years since I felt at the time that it really shouldn't matter anyways!
So true though that when your disowned by your family and anyone close and you also loose the career that you had been in for many years, theres really not much left to keep you tied emotionally to your old life and its much easier to keep your privacy intact after when you start over a new life!
One fairly important problem for me then was that there had been a lot of my early work out there that was signed with my "dead name" so I it was a only later when I came out as trans, that I admitted that I had painted them but like a fingerprint, your artwork can be identified regardless of if its signed or not. Some of the galleries were nice enough to contact some of the owners and I got to resigned them but some weren't willing, thinking that they would probably be worth more someday if they had my old name and I couldn't force them, it sold to them under that name! When I first heard of Wendy Carlos (the musician) there still were record albums under her old name, She probably had to make arrangements to change the listings and copyrights ect.. interesting story, I had written to her when I was 12 years old telling her I always felt like a girl too and if she could write back to me? ah we are so hopeful when we are young!



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I believe moving to a more tolerant environment is my only option for normalcy. I live in a rural area that is somewhat "tolerant " of homosexuality but gender transition, that's a whole different thing here. For the younger generation it may be accepted but not mine. My future is still so uncertain but my wife and I have discussed following her interests in the future which will involve moving, perhaps to another country even.

Quote from: josie76 on October 29, 2016, 08:35:32 AM
I believe moving to a more tolerant environment is my only option for normalcy. I live in a rural area that is somewhat "tolerant " of homosexuality but gender transition, that's a whole different thing here. For the younger generation it may be accepted but not mine. My future is still so uncertain but my wife and I have discussed following her interests in the future which will involve moving, perhaps to another country even.

Of course, you dont want to cause yourselves more problems, small towns being notorious for gossip and they seem to be frozen in time when it comes to tolerance and as you mentioned, gender seems to be a whole other thing!


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