How did you come out and what was the process.
One month of hrt and I feel great for the most part.   Now that i made my desition to transition (mtf) where do I go from here.   So far I came out to my gf,  and a few of my bi/les female friends. I told my one class mate he kinda got freaked out and I got offended.  So I never mentioned that topic to him again. I told my GP that I started hormones he did not look or sounded too impressed. But I didn't get into detail.  And of course my parents don't know yet.  BTW they are asian catholics and they are strong believers too. It is going to be hard coming out to family,  public eye,  social and the work force.   What I plan to do will take time.  I know hrt will take years to take effect so in the mean time im not worried about that. Just a brief history i cross dressed when i was a kid.  They thought I had mental problems.
But for now I plan on getting lazer hair removal and shave off my adams apple.  Depending on how big my breast will grow (probally not big with just hrt.)  ill get breast implants.  Shaving off my adams apple is fine lazer hair removal is fine. FFS probally when I get my body that is female shaped.  But even till then ill probally still want to look have male and half female. I mean i want to look and dress in female cloths. But at the same time.  I do look mostly male. Should I just start dressing and putting makeup even tho clearly i am a male or should i just wait until i am fulltime transfemale?  But that will take alot of time,  and with that time money too. Should I just dress in female cloths and makeup regardless of what people think?  Let me know your thoughts and experience.  It would be great help to me.  Thanx.

Either one doesn't matter because in the end their reactions may be the same. The real key in the end is which are you going to be more comfortable doing it in. During my first transition and this transition even some found out only after I was in girl mode, but many found out before I was. Still it really comes down to personal comfort because either route can have the desired affected depending on what you tel them. In my case the doctor's office found out after my mom and brother did but they found out very early on. Then it just kind of went from their depending on who I interacted with. I don't know that there is any particular order either. Again I believe and feel that it comes down to person preference again. From having transitioned twice I didn't do anything different in coming out really either time. Hugs
Mariah

I am currently out to my wife and a few friends.  I am not yet on HRT; hoping to start by the end of this year.  My plan is to come out publicly in the spring.  The exact timing will depend on how noticeable the effects of HRT will be, but I don't want to postpone it for long.

I am retired, so work is not an issue for me.  I plan to come out separately to the various groups that I am a member of.  To control the gossip and rumours, I will do them all within one week.  For groups that have a specific leader (dance class, concert band, fire department), I will give the leader a heads-up a week prior to coming out to the rest of the group.  This is just a courtesy, so that they are not blindsided, especially if gossip reaches them before I make it official to the group. 

The first group that I come out to will be the community association.  I will tell them in person at the weekly coffee gathering.  They are mostly little old ladies, and I expect that there will be gasps and a few heart palpitations, but it can't be helped.  Telling them first is a gesture of respect that may keep them on my side (my therapist's idea).  It will also ensure that the rest of the community finds out quickly!

My plan is to tell each group while still presenting as male.  That is to minimize the OMG reactions when I show up the next week as myself.

Hi Mikka55,

In my case I came out to my family before starting any of the process. Although initially they were shocked and took quite some time in understanding me, they eventually became supportive (after several articles and research together). You could opt for directly trying on female clothes and makeup, but that might turn some heads and could eventually discourage you quite a lot, say in case, you do not appreciate yourself presently seeing in the mirror with male characteristics and make up. However there are quite a lot of changes during the hormone therapy which would definitely feminise your facial features and make you look quite beautiful. So it's important to keep that in mind as well.

Although hormone therapy has different effect on different individuals, on an average a person can see the changes in 6-7 months. I would definitely recommend laser treatment after a few months of hormones as they affect your hair growth. Otherwise you would end up spending a lot in hair removal sessions. You would definitely need less sessions after a few months of hormones.

At the end I believe in what goes around comes back around. If I were to start my transition without telling this to my parents they would totally think I am going in a wrong direction and might not have being supportive. But this really depends on the relationship a person has with parents. It might turn out to be quite negative as well. Co sider some serious thinking about this.


Yashika

Mikka, you're just beginning this journey.  Right now, it's probably best to focus on how you feel.  How do you feel about people reading you as female?  How do you feel about the image in the mirror when that image looks female?  Compare those feelings to when you're presenting as male.  That, I think, is the most honest and healthy way to guide your transition.  And find a local support group if you can -- other transitioners are often the best at providing emotional and social support during this transitional time.

Like you said, this is going to take years, and it doesn't hurt to plan things out in advance, as best you can.  Facial hair removal is best done as soon as possible.  Also, don't forget to work on your voice!  That can take several months to develop, so start practicing now.  When it comes to surgeries, it's usually more cost-effective to have them done at the same time -- like, if you think you'll want facial surgery, that would be the time to get your adam's apple shaved down, too.  But give the hormones time to do their work, at least a year (if not two) before turning to the knife.

As for coming out, be mindful.  You don't have to do it all at once, and it's not like you're going full time immediately.  You can pick and choose carefully, according to your best judgment.  Some people will only be accepting if your physical presence is compelling.  Others are full of love and will see the real spirit inside you -- I call these people spiritual masters, and though they are few they are certainly out there.  And some people will reject you outright -- when we go down this road, we have to be prepared for all kinds of losses, but we can't be afraid, we have to stay true to ourselves. Also, and this one is hard, some will try to accept you, but they will fail, for the old memories in them are too strong.

Finally, delay coming out at work as long as possible -- you don't want to derail your transition because your source of funding it suddenly gets cut off.  Rather than coming out at work, make yourself indispensable to your employer, that's the best guarantee of smoothing the whole process out.

Good luck!

I have come out to about 50 people and most of them have told one other.

That process has been going on for exactly one year.  One false start on HRT (starting again this week (I hope).  But as everyone had said, it probably doesn't matter the order.  This is all about you.  What ever you are comfortable with.

For example, I'm currently sitting in a hot dog stand in Bolingbrook Illinois in a black tunic, boot cut jeans and awesome black boots with a 3" heel.  I'm comfortable. 

My plan is to go pretty androgenous at work for a while then start in on maybe light make-up... That part I've not decided either.

Do what you want.  Your blood pressure and heart rate will elevate no matter what you do.

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