Hi everyone!

So I'm trying to figure out who/what I am, and while I've gotten some perspective from trans individuals, I want the perspective of crossdressers as well to see if maybe my experiences match up with yours.

For me personally, I really don't want to fully transition. If anything, I'd be happy looking more androgynous. I don't think I have gender dysphoria, but I have to admit to feeling some gender euphoria when dressing in girl mode and thinking "Wouldn't it be nice to be a girl?" And when I dress, I think of myself as "Gabi" this person that is a part of me a person part of me wishes I can be.

In terms of gender, I'm kinda neutral on being a guy. It's not bad, but I don't think "Oh yeah, LOVE BEING A GUY! RARARA!" I mean, if I were deserted on an island with a machine to make me a woman in an instant, I'd probably press it. But that isn't life, so yeah. And then there's when I see an attractive girl, my first thought isn't so much "I want to be with her" it's "I want to be her" or a mixture of both.

And it's also hard for me to not describe or self-identify as cis because that's how I present and it would feel weird to tell or think of myself as anything other because of my looks and how I present in public. And to be honest, I most likely don't see myself transitioning into a woman. If anything, I want to feminize myself enough to be androgynous and happy.

So from the perspective of a crossdresser, are these things you experience? Or am I not a crossdresser?

(and also, did any of you play with dolls and wanted to be called pretty instead of handsome? Or in pre-school play house with the girls?)

If you haven't already done so, look at this post in your introduction post. Only you can determine the proper name to call yourself but what you should be thinking about is what type of life would make you happy. If you don't want surgery, that eliminates transsexualism and puts you in the non binary. In the non binary there are a number of possible places you could fit. This link will show you a simplified list of possible places you could fit. What is important to understand is that you may not fit into any of the already defined names. We have people on the site who underwent surgery but they are non binary on the transitioned side. Others just don't fit into any existing name but they are clearly non binary. Define the life you are after and maybe the name will match.

Why get hung up on labels? Just be who you are and enjoy life! In the the end you will either be 6 foot under in a wooden box or in an urn and then who cares what the label says?

I think my perspective on life maybe different to some other people though

I've never really cared for or identified with the term "crossdresser", but around here it seems to often be used to describe many people who don't consider themselves transsexual. There are a number of more descriptive categories, but I've found that for most of us it's best to simply create your own. Labels are really only for other people. Inside you you know who you are. It's really more about what you want to do that what you call yourself, I think.

My favorite TG heroine right now is international fashion model Stav Strashko (google her!) who unabashedly lives as a woman, but has never "transitioned" or identified as a transsexual. Here's a great quote from her I ran across recently:

Quote"I was born a boy, and I consider myself a girl," Stav explains, pausing a moment to clarify. "I consider myself a girl only because of the world we live in. For example, if I wear a skinny jeans, a crop top, and makeup, people see me as a girl, so I feel obligated to say I am a girl. But I would rather live without definition."

One writer said "Stav represents a new generation that refuses to conform to societal standards about gender and gender expression." I think people in the limelight like Stav are leading the way for the rest of us to live as we wish and leave definitions to others.

Crossdressers are included in the transexual umbrella (something I learned here!) and I'm ok with that.  I personally don't want to be a girl or transition.  I'm quite happy to be a guy, but I want to be able to express my feminine side too Yea, I want my cake and be able to eat to too   Life for me is best when I can have time to express both sides of me.  Some days I will wear guy clothes all day and slip into hosiery and a skirt for the evening.  Other days I will spend working (from home) in a dress and flats...  when I wife gets home and we need to run some errands I will change and not wear anything girly for the rest of the day.

I think it perfectly ok to wear what you like when you like.  Express yourself as you see fit for the mood that strikes you.  It's ok to wear traditionally female attire and yet not want to become a woman. 

"A rose by any other name....etc" Forget labels. If you like it, wear it!
Some days I dress male, some days female.
Some days I date men, some days women. Some days both.

sure, I played with dolls (and trucks). Sometimes I was the doll for my older sister and her friends.
Haven't been called pretty for some years now (sigh), but I often get comments on how nice my clothes look and how confident I am being gender non-conformal.

Quote from: Dena on September 13, 2016, 02:50:28 AM
If you haven't already done so, look at this post in your introduction post. Only you can determine the proper name to call yourself but what you should be thinking about is what type of life would make you happy. If you don't want surgery, that eliminates transsexualism and puts you in the non binary. In the non binary there are a number of possible places you could fit. This link will show you a simplified list of possible places you could fit. What is important to understand is that you may not fit into any of the already defined names. We have people on the site who underwent surgery but they are non binary on the transitioned side. Others just don't fit into any existing name but they are clearly non binary. Define the life you are after and maybe the name will match.

Really, Dena, again with the Transsexuals require surgery line. This is not a medically valid opinion..

Forget the labels and just enjoy expressing on the outside who you really are inside.

However, when I did use the term crossdresser to describe myself in the past I almost felt as if there was some mental illness driving me to wear women's clothes.  For me those were the old days that I thought I was sick.

NO MORE!, thanks to the education and support I receive through this forum and other helpful sources.

I now think of myself as who I am, a very happy transgender woman. Sure, I have had not had surgery (yet), and sure, I have not started HRT (yet). It's not that I don't want to, I really do. When I used to think I was simply a crossdresser, I kept thinking each time I purged that the feelings would go away. Silly.

Actually, I really do want to transition fully one day, but I want to stay married to my wife of over 40 years. She does not want me to transition yet, but she said yes to my motorcycle this year, maybe some time in the future she will say yes to my transition.

I agree not to be too focused on the names, but it is legitimate to desire to have a name to describe oneself. Terms come and go and mean different things to different people.
Monica

Quote from: Jin on September 27, 2016, 10:21:21 AM
"A rose by any other name....etc" Forget labels. If you like it, wear it!
Some days I dress male, some days female.
Some days I date men, some days women. Some days both.

sure, I played with dolls (and trucks). Sometimes I was the doll for my older sister and her friends.
Haven't been called pretty for some years now (sigh), but I often get comments on how nice my clothes look and how confident I am being gender non-conformal.

I like what you said [emoji1]

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Dena,let me get this straight if your transexual you have to run out get therapy,hrt,gcs? I didn't get the memo on that one,I'm intersex both male and female I'm whomever I want to be at the moment,I'm transexual but don't need hormone's(love my sex life),as for surgery that's a no go for I've been Terry(Teresa)my whole life and surgery would kill one of en which in turn would kill me. Being transexual is more then surgery but mindset and how comfortable one is with themselves.

Transexual means you desire the whole ball of wax. You might not get surgery because of other complications in your life but you would if you could. I use the term I was transexual because I no longer have the desire after completing my treatment. I am not sure that the term transexual apples to intersex because with intersex it's clear the body is a mix of genders instead of opposite as in my case.
The term transgender applies to all of us as it indicates the body and mind are in disagreement.

I use the terms as they are used in the medical community which agrees with the site standards.

Quote from: gabriellecapulet on September 13, 2016, 01:18:22 AM
Hi everyone!

So I'm trying to figure out who/what I am, and while I've gotten some perspective from trans individuals, I want the perspective of crossdressers as well to see if maybe my experiences match up with yours.

For me personally, I really don't want to fully transition. If anything, I'd be happy looking more androgynous. I don't think I have gender dysphoria, but I have to admit to feeling some gender euphoria when dressing in girl mode and thinking "Wouldn't it be nice to be a girl?" And when I dress, I think of myself as "Gabi" this person that is a part of me a person part of me wishes I can be.

In terms of gender, I'm kinda neutral on being a guy. It's not bad, but I don't think "Oh yeah, LOVE BEING A GUY! RARARA!" I mean, if I were deserted on an island with a machine to make me a woman in an instant, I'd probably press it. But that isn't life, so yeah. And then there's when I see an attractive girl, my first thought isn't so much "I want to be with her" it's "I want to be her" or a mixture of both.

And it's also hard for me to not describe or self-identify as cis because that's how I present and it would feel weird to tell or think of myself as anything other because of my looks and how I present in public. And to be honest, I most likely don't see myself transitioning into a woman. If anything, I want to feminize myself enough to be androgynous and happy.

So from the perspective of a crossdresser, are these things you experience? Or am I not a crossdresser?

(and also, did any of you play with dolls and wanted to be called pretty instead of handsome? Or in pre-school play house with the girls?)

Hey Gabi, thank you for your post!
Just decided to sign up because I was impressed how your story is similar to mine.
I can sign after each line under your post, and that's precisely how I feel too.

I know that many LGBT personals will keep saying to stop putting labels etc, but anyway, the strong desire to position yourself somewhere doesn't just go away. It's hard to live not knowing who you are. So, I've been researching this for months now, and finally came up with the term - "androgyny".

I think you are "androgyny" like me, at least in your mind. The term was established as early as 14th century. Wikipedia has pretty accurate article on it. Google it.

A crossdresser has always been associated to someone masculine wearing women clothes, shoes and wigs, which isn't quite appealing honestly, and often considered a part of sex roleplay games, in my opinion.

Whether you're crossdresser or androgyny depends - is it just a thing for a women wardrobe, like a fetish, or you want your body to look feminine as well. Based on what you wrote you're heading towards androgyny.

I'm glad that Lyric mentioned Stav Strashko as an example. He's a boy who hit top charts of woman beauty and fashion. Thousands of thousands cis-women actually feel jealous when looking at him! At the same time he's a male and he admits it. He speaks with a man's voice. All this makes him look pretty confident. He doesn't have boobs, nor super feminine body.
It's all the magic of makeup, a little bit of estrogen patches, clothes, proper diet and genetics.

How old are you btw? And are you planning for some feminizing hormone therapy?

Sorry to interrupt the thread a bit. However, I would like to welcome ArthurK to the site.

As a moderator, I ended up removing your second post Arthur. It concerned ->-bleeped-<- which is volitile subject that has be debunked as not true. It is against the policies of this site to discuss this subject due to the misunderstanding and misleading that sometimes occurs in it's discussion.

Sadly, in removing the post, I removed a few questions that if worded differently might make a really good separate topic.

I also want to share some links with you. They are mostly welcome information and the rules that govern the site. If you have not had a chance to look through them, please take a moment to:

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
  
• Reputation rules
  
• News posting & quoting guidelines
  
• Photo, avatars, and signature images policy
  

Once again, welcome to Susan's. Look around, ask questions and join in.

With warmth,

Joanna

If you need a label to hang on me, I'm a "Michelle"[emoji8].

I'm happy being me. Even on not so good days.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 :police:Topic is locked for review and clean up. I will try to open it back up shortly.


Let's please remember to stay on topic and not hijack them. I know I do it often to welcome people but that is a little different.

 

Generally clear. Topic is open.

Warmly,
Joanna

My entire life growing up as a kid I always wanted to be more like the girls and play house and do what girls did but I was a boy which made it almost impossible for me to do what the girls were doing without being called a sissy. I mean I was never feminine in any sort of way and even now I do not have any feminine manners or features even though I wish I did ever single day.

I am not attracted to females sexually at all. When I see females I wish I was them or I wish I was wearing whatever outfit that I like that they are wearing, so many emotions come into play like that. I mean I will look on the internet looking for nude photos of females just to see what size breasts I would love to have and sometimes I will look at vaginas and wishing I had one.

Yet I don't think any of that will ever come into reality about having breasts or a V. If I won the lottery would be the only way that I would make it happen lol