For my birthday I got "damsel in defense" products. Way to make me feel terrible on what is suppose to be a happy day.

If that was a mistake gift, at least they meant well.

If it was deliberate, why let something like that ruin your whole day? Maybe keep hold of them or give to someone else, could actually come in handy in a dark alley, who cares if a survival item is "for girls"? I notice they have a pink kubotan in their range. I have the exact same one in black and I always have it in my pocket, although I got it from a self defence company.

Be like me, my mom gifted me this pink bra which I subsequently did not wear and ended up giving to my girlfriend which hapoened to fit her perfectly and she now wears it all the time, lol


...I always hated getting lotions and creams as gifts from people I barely know, its their way of gifting a girl something which I really, really wasnt

Ouch, dude... that's rough. I'm sorry that happened to you.

I second the 'creams and lotions' thing, too. Random cheap perfumes and lotions are always the go-to "allllll the ladies like this' gift for secret santa and the like. This is partly why I never put my name in the hat for any of the secret santa draws at my work before.

Eh, just re-gift the stuff.

So this is a self defense kit thingy?
I don't know where you live, but if it is a relatively rough area, the thing could be a genuine gift, given out of concern. Being trans can be dangerous. Some people's mind can simply not step out of the binary male/female mindset, and everything that challenges that can be met with aggression at times. Perhaps the gift was given out of concern, regardless of your gender, but given because you are a minority (trans) and thus at risk. I doubt there are 'gentlemen in distress'  kits to buy.

When in doubt, just talk to the gift givers. They may have given it out of concern, bought it without thinking much of it, or given it out of malice (the latter seems less likely). Only communication can create understanding, and with understanding can come the prevention of future mishaps.

Quote from: Mr.X on November 04, 2016, 03:50:20 AM
So this is a self defense kit thingy?
I don't know where you live, but if it is a relatively rough area, the thing could be a genuine gift, given out of concern. Being trans can be dangerous. Some people's mind can simply not step out of the binary male/female mindset, and everything that challenges that can be met with aggression at times. Perhaps the gift was given out of concern, regardless of your gender, but given because you are a minority (trans) and thus at risk. I doubt there are 'gentlemen in distress'  kits to buy.

When in doubt, just talk to the gift givers. They may have given it out of concern, bought it without thinking much of it, or given it out of malice (the latter seems less likely). Only communication can create understanding, and with understanding can come the prevention of future mishaps.

Not sold described as such, but often the word "tactical" (aka "tacticool") will be in the title and/or description.

For Alex: Rattle-can flat black anything pink.

And...happy birthday!

Oh I did not realize the particular object was one for self defense. Despite the feminine packaging, that does not make the product itself a bad gift if its helpful and efficient. In this case, I would ignore or tear of feminine labels and keep the product as is. For example, I have worj shirts labeled "womans" which I disliked that they gave me from my last job but theyre neutral enough that despite the label I havent even changed them out at all.

I would try to make the best of it for what it is, not what it is marketed for

I understand that they meant well but literally every piece says "damsel" on it and you just can't sharpie that out. It is causing my dysphoria to flare just thinking the word damsel so I cannot keep any part of them that would remind me of them.

According to the website it seems like quite an expensive gift with a good purpose. Why isnt it you cant sharpie it out or adjust the aethetic or the items in any way that will render it less feminine? or perhaps hide it away somewhere until you need it, it's not like you have to emblazon those sort of things on a shirt or anything.

Im really sorry that the design, aethetic, and market makes you feel dysphoric but if there's any way to shrug it off and find other things to occupy your interest and focus

Yeah, that looks like a pretty hardcore taser.  What color is it?

Quote from: Mr.X on November 04, 2016, 03:50:20 AM
So this is a self defense kit thingy?
I don't know where you live, but if it is a relatively rough area, the thing could be a genuine gift, given out of concern. Being trans can be dangerous. Some people's mind can simply not step out of the binary male/female mindset, and everything that challenges that can be met with aggression at times. Perhaps the gift was given out of concern, regardless of your gender, but given because you are a minority (trans) and thus at risk. I doubt there are 'gentlemen in distress'  kits to buy.

When in doubt, just talk to the gift givers. They may have given it out of concern, bought it without thinking much of it, or given it out of malice (the latter seems less likely). Only communication can create understanding, and with understanding can come the prevention of future mishaps.

I agree. Even cis-males can be in danger and have a need for a defense spray.  Take it as being a concern for your safety and nothing else.

The color "pink" is no longer considered to be just for women and girls. Men have worn "pink" and "purple" for years now.  Skirts and dresses are still not standard attire for them but that will happen someday.