I'm in the mood for self love.  Just list things about yourself that are positive, and then relate it to being trans*. We too often feel guilt.  So here and now, let's just talk about some nice things.

Here's mine-
:Empathy- I've been grouped with guys my entire life.  And even though, I feel like they're from another planet, I ultimately understand them.

:emotional self-awareness- My single biggest dysphoric thing is my emotions.  At a lot of times I know I'm sad, but I feel angry. This makes me aware of my feelings in a deeper way than just feeling them.

:More progressive- my family is not very accepting of a lot of people.  I know I could have turned out a lot more like that; but I have always felt othered and different, so it just clicked whenever I see people in that type of situation.

:Critical thinking- I'm a boy and all boys act a certain way?  I know that's not true and I feel that has set a certain precedent.  I look at all people as unique individuals and question everything I'm told; especially when "that's just the way it is."

That's what I see as my positive traits.  What about you?  In what ways do you feel being trans* has improved you as a person?

Hard to be proud of something Im not proud of, Im proud of myself and I happen to be trans, and Im also proud of the struggle we go through to be ourselves, but thats not the same to me

But to play along and do a little more self love, here's a few:

We defy the gender norms, we're far more aware of sexist and unequal injustices placed on men and woman alike, and depending on who we are we break those barriers

We're physically unique-try as we might, some of us might never be fully bio male or female, so whats left is to appreciate and accept the difference we have in body type, and still feel attractive in our form. The fact that there are different kinds of men and women with different body types is interesting and reassuring.

For me- my sexuality sort of changed...I was more interested in woman if I was the man in the relationship, I guess something about being a lesbian made me feel dysphoric. All in all, though, bisexuality is nice and comfortable and I enjoy liking those Im close with for themselves and not their body, even before I thought I wasnt bi I appreciated the concept a whole lot

...thats about it that I can think of, haha!

Getting through all of this successfully has shown me just how much I can accomplish in my life if I put my heart and soul into it.  Also, it's quite revealing to see how gender is actually constructed, and how it differs. 

I'm thankful God answered my prayers. Being the comedian he is, he waited 45 years to do it. There is a calmness now that I had not experienced in...well forever.  I am beginning to understand what being serene means,

Ditto on Empathy and Critical Thinking. Empathy is huge. I have male friends that are so incredibly insensitive to suffering of any kind. They cannot put themselves in anyone else's shoes to save their lives. What a poor way to live.

In my case, I would add Creativity and Intuition. I don't think either of these traits would be nearly as strong were I not Trans. Being Trans opens our world view up tremendously. This exposes opportunities to tie unrelated things together in new ways - the essence of creativity. This comes out in my work and my hobbies. I'm writing a novel. I do art. I create new recipes. I design things for a living - and better than most of my non-trans peers. I have patents. I can dress very well. I'm a great decorator and I like matching colors. I taught myself violin (really badly too!) so I could make music.

The intuitive sense became strong in me from the beginning when I realized I was different and had to be very careful. Think about being in gym locker rooms in middle school. You develop a sense of who is dangerous or not. It kept me at least from being harmed many times. It's developed over my life. It's also guided me in directions that ended up in places I didn't think I'd ever be - positive ones - like with my wife and transitioning.

Ok, I'll also add Curiosity. How can that be related to being Trans? Well, I always deeply wondered why I was different. I search for reasons. I learn things along the way that maybe have nothing to do with the reason but get filed away. We trans folk probably know more about endocrinology than many medical professionals. We study make-up, we overcompensate and become experts on hair removal, you name it. We research everything. For me it becomes an end in itself. Maybe even part of the distraction technique of avoiding dysphoric feelings.

This is a good thread because we all so often think down on ourselves (I know I do) because of this restrictive binary culture we're in. In other cultures and other times, our kind were revered as being special and highly valued. Trans-positivity! Yes!

I agree that empathy is likely first and foremost here. I would like to add that I am very likely much more of an activist, more of a protector of those I empathize with...marginalized people I encounter in my life...than I ever would have been without the trans aspect of my being.

I also think I can credit being trans with my sense of humor in general. What started out as a defense mechanism as a kid has developed into me being well-known as witty and fun to be around. This early self-deprecating  humor also taught me humility in a sense. I retained the humility but developed better strategies for keeping myself out of situations where I had to "play off" being victimized (for the most part).

I also find that I am much more sensitive and open to the world than I would have been otherwise. I find beauty in little things and little moments that I might have missed before. I actively seek out the positive in people and try to find common ground with them instead of simply discounting or ignoring them completely. This doesn't mean that the approach is often reciprocated, but I at least make the attempt.

I am also definitely more courageous than I can ever imagine being otherwise. Having gone through what I have...what most of us have..has taught me resilience and empowered me to keep striving...to keep moving forward and to never ever quit.

Alyssa

Quote from: EmilyAlyssa on October 16, 2016, 01:09:03 PM
I agree that empathy is likely first and foremost here. I would like to add that I am very likely much more of an activist, more of a protector of those I empathize with...marginalized people I encounter in my life...than I ever would have been without the trans aspect of my being.

I agree. I'm different from others in my demographic and when I look around a room of activists I do see a lot of gender and sexual minority people. I think it was because I never unconsciously felt to be part of the dominant group. I've felt different all my life.

A better understanding of the reality of social roles and "privilege" as they call it, of the genders, than many people out there appear to have. I know what male and female "privilege" actually is now, and it certainly isn't what the media or certain narratives like to paint it as most of the time. As such, it's a unique position of knowledge from which to inform those less knowledgeable.

An appreciation for the most basic things in life few will stop to think and feel deeply about, such as, feeling whole or comfortable in one's skin as you reach your goals. Joy in belonging. In experiencing real, visceral, physical confidence for the first time, etc. I'm not sure if all people feel these things as we do because the conditions were not there to deprive them of certain basics in the first place, and to feel reunited with one's skin or "complete self" might be a unique experience to those who had been kept from it in the way we tend to be.

The kind of fortitude experienced by our kind can create a certain strength of character I don't see too often. I can meet women who've seen intense, terrifying military combat and yet are women, I can meet men who know what it is to be sensitive and yet are men, whether they wished for these things or not. The range of experience is huge and there are some amazing conversations and exchanges to be had.