When I just started transitioning, it used to drive me crazy, but not just the staring. I live in a neighbourhood with a large muslim and carribean population, who found me offensive for some reason. I wasn't passing so well and was spat in my face, called names (especially "puto" and a "batty boy"), once someone even sent his fighting dog after me. So I just decided to stay at home and put on some male semblance when I'd go out. But it was untenable, because I was changing clothes like five times a day. Also my hair style, makeup I sometimes forgot to take off etc. I wasn's able to pass as male either.
The psychologist who diagnosed my gender dysphoria told me she feared I was developing agoraphobia, but I countered that with the notion that my fear to go out was based on a very real risk I was taking, given the violence I already encountered. Someone who is agoraphobic doesn't go out because of unrealistic fears. She pushed me though, because in the porcess I'm going through, it's obliged to go fulltime within a period of three months after having started HRT.
So I took a deep breath, got myself a complete wardrobe that I feel copmfortable in -until that point I only had clothes my sister gave me and some stuff that really was too slutty-, dyed my hair, pierced my ears, got myself all care products I needed, did all I could about my presentation in order to feel confident and comfortable with myself.
That worked. The first few weeks I got a lot of stares, but no more aggression, apart from one incident. I related that with my psychologist and she believed I was misinterpreting a lot of them. Girls are generally stared at more often than guys and she thought a lot of those guys watching might actaully be attracted to me, or were at least "checking me out". The stares are getting less frequent, maybe also because of the way I started moving and the improvements I'm making with the application of makeup. I also feel happy about how I present myself, which makes all the difference.
But guys in some way being attracted to me can also be intimidating. There is this man in my neighbourhood, who is actually following me around when I go out, constantly trying to make eye contact, which I avoid. At first I thought it was coincidence, but each time I went out he was around somewhere, passing me on his bicycle a few times; it just creeped me out but didn't want to be paranoid about it.
But this is already going on for a few weeks and I now know this not coincidental. At some point I went out shopping with a cis girlfriend of mine. I asked her to check his moves and she confirmed that he was following us. He even went with us when we went into a supermarket, without buying anything himself and followed us all the way back to my house. So now I'm freaked out and don't know what to do. Should I call him out on his behavior, or continue ignoring the f#@% out of him? I could do well without that kind of attentiojn.
