Really?
Why so calm, cool and collected?
Now I love ya'll (specially my Reebs) and I'm not making fun, but...
It's almost... unearthly.

I guess most things look like a joke from the outside

Uh... is that supposed to be an answer? Cause I'm not getting it. I'm used to peeps whose blood runs near the surface.
Calm, cool, collected peeps don't happen in my world.

Quote from: Nero on January 23, 2008, 07:44:31 PM
Uh... is that supposed to be an answer? Cause I'm not getting it. I'm used to peeps whose blood runs near the surface.
Calm, cool, collected peeps don't happen in my world.

Hi, Nero,

I am almost always easy-going until someone steps on my corns.  There isn't much that flaps.  Judging by my body temperature and blood pressure I definitely exist somewhere!

Wing Walker

Nero,

   You are sweet and I appreciate your sense of curiosity.


I can't speak for the others, but, in my case, I have a need for calm.  Plus, I see and understand most all sides to a situation.  If others might be wrong, then I might be wrong too.  I have to consider that what I see in other people is also who I am, or, who I could be.

am burnt out.  will try more thinking later.


Rebis

Quote from: Rebis on January 23, 2008, 07:53:46 PM
If others might be wrong, then I might be wrong too.  I have to consider that what I see in other people is also who I am, or, who I could be.

Yeah, that's it. The androgyne thing is a partly straddling thing between two genders, gives you the feeling that things are not rigid or right.

It is also a way of being outside the gender thing, which leads to a detachment, where lots of things feel like a joke or an absurdity.

It's not participation is it, it's lack of involvement, it's coldness.

Quote from: Pica Pica on January 23, 2008, 08:20:06 PM

Quote from: Rebis on January 23, 2008, 07:53:46 PM
If others might be wrong, then I might be wrong too.  I have to consider that what I see in other people is also who I am, or, who I could be.

Yeah, that's it. The androgyne thing is a partly straddling thing between two genders, gives you the feeling that things are not rigid or right.

It is also a way of being outside the gender thing, which leads to a detachment, where lots of things feel like a joke or an absurdity.

It's not participation is it, it's lack of involvement, it's coldness.

So, androgyne = cold. Is that your answer?

I also try to see/understand both sides of any situation, and don't let to be judgmental. Most people I know consider me to be a pretty mellow person. I very rarely get angry, but when I do, watch out... Z does have a temper 

When I was in therapy, and talking about very painful things in my life, my therapist said I described these things very matter of fact, and detached, as if I didn't feel any emotions. I think that was some kind of defense mechanism on my part because believe me, I do feel things quite intensely. I wouldn't consider that to be an androgyne trait in particular, just one aspect of my personality.

y2g

Quote from: y2gender on January 23, 2008, 08:48:03 PM
When I was in therapy, and talking about very painful things in my life, my therapist said I described these things very matter of fact, and detached, as if I didn't feel any emotions. I think that was some kind of defense mechanism on my part because believe me, I do feel things quite intensely. I wouldn't consider that to be an androgyne trait in particular, just one aspect of my personality.

Um, have you been stealing my mind lately? This sounds just like some of my sessions, although from the hints you've been dropping I don't think I can match your painful experiences (not that I'd want to ). I wouldn't have considered this an androgyne trait either, but now that you bring this up it seems possible that this trait has something to do with it.

For a while now I've worked under the hypothesis that my androgyny is really a result of two things. On the one hand it feels like I have a regular case of GID: this body seems wrong in the same way many 'normal' transsexuals describe it. On the other hand, I lack most of the social dysphoria, and there is no overwhelming distress. The social aspects I think are partly nurture (as opposed to nature): I was lucky enough that I wasn't forced too far into a 'male' role. Still, upbringing doesn't explain quite all of it, and it just struck me that diluting strong emotions might be part of my coping mechanism.

(See, here I go again, coolly analysing my emotional makeup. )

  Nfr

there you go, better description - people using oldness to control feelings. The looseness being natural, but coldness being a tool.

So, are you saying ya'll do feel things? And it's just a 'coldfront' ya'll put up?

Quote from: Nero on January 24, 2008, 08:14:16 AM
So, are you saying ya'll do feel things? And it's just a 'coldfront' ya'll put up?

Yes, we are actually human and feel things   

I've always been an introvert and shy, took a while to realize that other people perceived that as being standoffish or cold.

y2g

Posted on: January 24, 2008, 08:22:52 AM

---

Quote from: Seshatneferw on January 24, 2008, 07:22:56 AM
Um, have you been stealing my mind lately? This sounds just like some of my sessions, although from the hints you've been dropping I don't think I can match your painful experiences (not that I'd want to ). I wouldn't have considered this an androgyne trait either, but now that you bring this up it seems possible that this trait has something to do with it.

For a while now I've worked under the hypothesis that my androgyny is really a result of two things. On the one hand it feels like I have a regular case of GID: this body seems wrong in the same way many 'normal' transsexuals describe it. On the other hand, I lack most of the social dysphoria, and there is no overwhelming distress. The social aspects I think are partly nurture (as opposed to nature): I was lucky enough that I wasn't forced too far into a 'male' role. Still, upbringing doesn't explain quite all of it, and it just struck me that diluting strong emotions might be part of my coping mechanism.

(See, here I go again, coolly analysing my emotional makeup. )

  Nfr

This mind stealing stuff seems to happen an awful lot in the androgyne section 

Interesting, for me, the social dysphoria is what really gets to me, although I've gone through occasional phases where the body dysphora was more intense.

Now I'm wondering about emotional make-up, what colors does it come in, how to apply it properly, and where can I buy it? My local stores are out of stock!! 

y2g

Isn't it so much easier than to be stressed?  Works for me..   

N

Quote from: y2gender on January 24, 2008, 03:05:04 PM
Now I'm wondering about emotional make-up, what colors does it come in, how to apply it properly, and where can I buy it? My local stores are out of stock!! 

It comes in a wide range of colours, so you should first decide on the colour scheme you want. Back when I was in my teens people tried to convince me to go for the Testosterone product line. True, it gives a rugged and confident look, especially if you apply it with a sufficiently broad brush, but somehow it didn't quite fit the style I was going for. Still, that's what I used, even though I tried a much more subtle approach. Lately, though, I've realised that I'm allergic to their DHT brand of hair products.

Their main competition is the Oestrogen brand, and several of my friends use that exclusively. Some of it seems a bit over the top for me, especially since I and my wife try to complement each other, not compete. Still, I've found that a subdued foundation from the Testosterone line works very well with a bit of Oestrogen highlights. I'm afraid most of this stuff is intended for professionals, so they are usually hard to find in normal consumer stores.

Then there are several other product lines mainly intended to complement either of these. For instance, some people use products such as Prozac to get a little lighter overall result, although this too is meant to be used under the guidance of a professional emotional makeup artist. For me, the fine details depend on the occasion. The Caffeine range is sometimes useful for covering the effects of fatigue; for special festive occasions, Champagne often works quite well. Again, the trick is to be subtle, so don't overdo it.

  Nfr

Until your post I never really associated it with TS. But after thinking about it I have to agree that suppressing or diluting strong
emotions might be part of the coping mechanism. But I also believe that it may be hormonal somehow.

I do know that as I got older I'm not nearly as able to control emotions as when I was younger. From about age 8 though about 25
I was one cool cucumber. No one got to me (in public) and people would remark how patient and calm I was.
There were no highs, no lows, just steady. It would piss others off to no end that I could remain so calm when confronted
by a raving lunatic. And there was no fear of anything, I did some things that to this day(climbing, biking)  I have no idea how I
survived or why I did them. But there was absolutely no thought of consequence. Some would probably call it a death wish and
that might be the case to some extent.

Somewhere around 25 though I started growing facial hair and looked more masculine.  I think the big T kicked in. About mid 30's
I grew chest hair(more T I assume) and from that point I gradually moved to a more normal emotional response where I showed more male anger, rage, etc.
So much more my wife remarked a couple of years ago how much I had changed.

HRT has me back to extreme and noticeable CALM. No anger, no problems, just steady happy, very happy, did I say
happy? emotions. In my case I think the T did not agree with my internal wiring. Or I may be just full of it. 

Amanda

Why so calm and collected? It's the balance... I put an introduction up a couple of weeks ago '56 year old virgin' briefly telling my story. I repackaged myself in Dec 2000, moving from male (externally) to neuter, if labels are needed to define bodily appearance. My male equipment was healthy, handsome (so my girlfriends and partners would say) and I enjoyed a lot of good sex but... to me it was a built in strap-on and had to go to allow me to expand my 'other half'. one g/f asked me why I couldn't just take the 'mones and be a '->-bleeped-<-' (she would still have been interested in having sex with me in that situation) Tempting but not enough for me. Walking away from my 'birth-defect' allowed me to step back from hetero attraction and reposition myself socially. With my cherished friends it has been smooth, a little tougher on the inner city streets. Sadly certain minority members of the community are predictable -at 50mtrs they think they want to bed you, at 30 mtrs they ain't too sure and at 10mtrs they are feeling for a weapon... but I live a full life, part of a community group that run Open Mic nights for Poets and musicians, have earnt a living for 15 years touring with performers from all over the world. Personal pronouns vary according to language and culture, my close friends use 'she' as do my step-kids. I look good in an A-line dress and heels but live and work in jeans and t-shirts. Not long after my rebuild I had a couple of intimate encounters with curious young women, one is now a close friend the other was a muppet (maybe that's unkind to muppets) then followed a disastrous inter-net affair with a lying Cuban bitch and since I have settled into a celibate lifestyle concentrating on the community, touring and my family around the world. Sure I would love a soulmate but I'm still getting used to the sense of being me and not a walking dildo... I feel for those who have it a lot tougher and I've seen so much courage i the posts on here already.
Tohl x

maybe we should be asking androgynes who are NOT mild to speak up. 

Aggressive androgynes shouldn't need an invitation.

Quote from: Rebis on January 25, 2008, 09:54:19 PM

maybe we should be asking androgynes who are NOT mild to speak up. 

they are too scared of us. we might offer then a cup of tea

Alright, I'm an aggressive androgyne, but I will accept that cup of tea.

My aggression doesn't generally come out anymore. I'm angry a lot, because I'm short, female bodied, and young looking, so people don't take me seriously. However, I'm pretty good at controlling myself, after a lot of practice, because I don't like hurting people (emotionally or physically). It sucks though, people usually take that to mean that I'm not affected in any way, and that's not true at all. I've had that "coldness" label applied to me a lot, partly because I think very logically and partly because it's my way of trying to avoid hurting people when I'm upset.