So... Lately I've been really stressed, sick, and overwhelmed with work, and I've been noticing that, not only has my dysphoria seemingly disappeared, but my desire to transition has gone away too: I actually feel relatively comfortable being male.  Granted, I don't have alot of time to think on it, and I get the feeling if I tried to have sex or something it wouldn't work out.  It's not like I suddenly care about football and ass-watching (or whatever men call it when they oggle women and make sexual comments), so I'm sure I don't have male interests suddenly, but I haven't been internally complaining my clothing or voice or body in the past couple of days...

I'm going to see how I feel in a week or so when I'm not struggling to finish a backlog of work while horribly depressed, but in the mean time, I was wondering if anyone here had a similar experience?

Kinda yeah. When i go in man mode i dont feel as down recently as i ave before. I still get the urge to heeve sometimes though but its not as bad as it was at one point. I just feel kinda empty, but it is livable. Then again, a good friend of mine during middle school lived as a tomboy for a very long time (they said they felt like they should have been a boy when they were super young) , then went full girly girl for a bit, went back to tomboy and last i talked is considering going ftm. So i guess these feelings are common and milage may very!!

I also suppose i will mention that I came out in May 2014 and although i didnt pass at all (kinda came out without any planning) i stopped August of that year and lived full time man, though within no less then two weeks i was losing sleep and wantning to be a girl, finally came out and lvied all femmed up by mid October of that year.

Dysphoria can come and go in waves, absolutely.

And it makes sense that it would ebb in the wake of other material problems and stressors.  Your subconscious is generally smart enough to recognize whether it's got the spoons to deal with identity issues.

Yes, this is very common.  It was my experience, and the experience of others who shared with me as well.

Dysphoria can oftentimes be "managed" by keeping yourself very, very busy with work, school, or other things that occupy all of your thoughts and time.

Ah, right, because gender dysphoria is one of those "first world problems", which ranks relatively high on the hierarchy of needs...

no, its not princess. to get thru the years until now i simply overworked as much as possible at my job and days/hours of helping others. throwing myself into this or that never an idle moment if i could help it. essentially keeping yourself busy as heck no time for me/myself and i . this will supress a number of issues for a human, your too busy and too tired to deal. well thats my experiance anyway. i am now in a position in my life i either start transition or "go home" there is no middle ground. staying as is or being in the 'middle ground' has been done and no thanks the pain and discomfort is unbearable. well enough of that, it does come in waves as others said .


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And here I am, a couple hours later, wearing nothing but an oversized hoodie and giggling internally about how cute I can look.  Maybe I'm just not noticing how femal, I am internally.

I've been meaning to take another online gender-profiling test while this is going on, to see if i get different results from that metric...

Peaks and valleys are part of the landscape for some of us.  I can go for weeks, sometimes even months, in male mode with hardly a thought about the other me and then all of sudden like a two by four on the side of the head, I can't think about anything else but becoming the female me.  In the broad spectrum of people who must deal with dysphoria, I don't have a clue as to where I fit in.  Am I an odd duck?  Perhaps.  All I know is that from time to time I become engulfed in pink fog.   

Yea I've been through it a few times now. I get so caught up in work, study, ext.. then I start having doubts about even having dysphoria, then I purge all of my girl stuff like an idiot and about a week later it all comes back.

Keeping busy it probably one of the primary ways people keep the dysphoria at bay.

It could be a comfort zone thing too if it's also high stress. After years of learning how to handle life as a guy, you don't really have to think about it too much.

Took an online test (COGIATI approach) and got an interesting result...

QuoteYour COGIATI result value is: 70 Which means that you fall within the following category:
COGIATI classification THREE, ANDROGYNE

What this means is that the Combined Gender Identity And Transsexuality Inventory has classified your internal gender identity to be essentially androgynous, both male and female at the same time, or possibly neither. In some cultures in history, you would be considered to be a third sex, independent of the polarities of masculine or feminine. Your gender issues are intrinsic to your construction, and you will most likely find your happiness playing with expressing both genders as you feel like it.

SUGGESTIONS FOR ACTION:
Your situation is a little tricky in our current society, but not tremendously so, depending on your geographic location.
The suggestions for your circumstance are not overly complicated.

If you have any comfortability about your gender expression, some slight degree of counseling might well prove helpful. The primary goal would be to make it possible for you to enjoy your gender expressions free from any shame or embarrassment, and to resolve any remaining questions you might have.

As an androgynous being, both genders, and both sexes are natural to your expression. Permanent polarization in either direction might bring significant unhappiness. It is not recommended that you go through a complete transsexual transformation. You might find a partial transformation of value, if you find yourself more attracted overall to the feminine. You are more likely a transgenderist, than a transsexual. It is recommended that you recognize that your gender issues are real, but that extreme action regarding them should be viewed with great caution.

If you have not already, consider joining any of the thousands of groups devoted to gender play of various varieties. There is literally a world of friends to discover who share your interests. There are also publications, vacations, and activities that would expand your gender play.

Last few times I took a gender profile test, it was on the female side of things.  I think this one in particular thought I was a transitoning trans-woman before I started transitioning.  Now it's saying I'm androgynous.  This is what I thought a couple years ago, before it clicked that I had very trans-feminine desires.

I like the note that says to try and do a partial transformation, as I've been thinking about doing that.  I'm not interested in large breasts, though when I'm really going, breasts seem nice.  Looking female is nice, because females are pretty and cute and I want to see more of that in the mirror.  I definitely feel like I'd benefit from SRS at this point.

This is a new data point, and I'll have to bring it up with my therapist on Wednesday, because I'm very intrigued...

You are who you are. You don't need a test to tell you that. Online tests are what you take to validate what you already know. Just don't get disappointed if they go the opposite way.

That one in particular, as I recall, is heavily based on stereotypes. It may lead you to believe you're different than you thought just because you're good at math or don't like pink, which is total bs.

Yea... I would take those online "gender tests" with a grain of salt.  Back when I was trying to figure myself out, I kept getting 50% male, 50% female on all the tests I took.  They really did not help me at all.

You're much better off working with a gender therapist, meeting and talking to other transgender women (of all types, all along the spectrum), and just going out there in the world and living life as a woman (even if part-time) as true tests of who you really are.  I did all those things during my period of self-discovery, and they were much better uses of my time than those silly online gender tests.  Plus, I made a lot of real-life friends this way. 

I'm trying to use the ones with some scientific basis as a diagnostic tool for when I'm unsure of my own mind.  I just wanted another metric to be able to think about.  Obviously if I got a very masculine result, that would be a warning sign that transitioning too hard too fast would be a mistake.

The designer of the COGIATI test has said it's invalid as a diagnostic tool. She merely created it as an example of what might work.

http://transsexual.org/cogiati_english.html

I'm aware, but no test can really be perfect.  I just want some metric to point at, because they force me to think about it, piece by piece.  For example, I found it notable that, the more sexual or interpersonal the questions got, the more feminine my answers were.

Wow, you know now that have started thinking about this seriously, I've been absolutely burried the last 5 years in constant work... Literally 50-60+ hours of work a week plus projects at home and kids to take care of. Since I've only started my current job in april on the day of fools, I've really had the most free time and time to really think about things other than work. I certainly understand how I have been so complacent with my body as male. You all have so much insight and I am finding more and more clarity with every thread that I read. Thank you all so much.