Hello all. I hope to find helpful advice here. I have been dealing with some for of gender discomfort since I started puberty I can remember watching the girls develop and just feeling like something was off with my body. As I grew up in came to grips with he fact that I am in fact male for awhile but over the last few years it's come back. I look at girls and feel jealous because they got what I have always yearned for. Like I love gun girls cars and playing sports like football and baseball but I still feel like I don't fit in my body at times. I found that after playing football in highschool and gaining mass and growing it has gotten worse but not all the time. I am not sure if transitioning would help or not but I don't know what else would I have tried just cross dressing but that didn't feel right. I am self conscious of my hight weight and masculinity of my body.

Welcome to the site.

Sounds like you are in a very uncomfortable place. I think many of us can relate to it. We have a lot of members with plenty of suggestions and advice.

I try not to tell people what to do but I would highly suggest you seek out a therapist. A gender therapist would be best but a general one can ussually help to begin with as well. They can help to safely guide you through the mental maze of figuring out what you may want/need. They can help you experiment in a safe, controlled environment and often have additional resources.

I hope you find what you are looking for here.

I also want to share some links with you. They are mostly welcome information and the rules that govern the site. If you have not had a chance to look through them, please take a moment to:

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
  
• Reputation rules
  
• News posting & quoting guidelines
  
• Photo, avatars, and signature images policy
  

Once again, welcome to Susan's. Look around, ask questions and join in.

With warmth,

Joanna

Welcome to Susan's Place. The transition need not be a full commitment as it's done in steps. Some of the steps like HRT and facial hair removal most often will make you feel better about yourself. If they don't you always have the option to  stop. The masculinity often can be dealt with and as for height, I am 6'2" and that has never been an issue for me. I have two links for you to look at. The first is our WIKI where you will earn more about what transgender is and you may find a place where you fit it. The second link is "the transition channel" where you can learn more about transsexualism. Feel free to ask any questions you might have.

Quote from: Southergirlsam on November 15, 2016, 09:34:16 AM
Hello all. I hope to find helpful advice here. I have been dealing with some for of gender discomfort since I started puberty I can remember watching the girls develop and just feeling like something was off with my body. As I grew up in came to grips with he fact that I am in fact male for awhile but over the last few years it's come back. I look at girls and feel jealous because they got what I have always yearned for. Like I love gun girls cars and playing sports like football and baseball but I still feel like I don't fit in my body at times. I found that after playing football in highschool and gaining mass and growing it has gotten worse but not all the time. I am not sure if transitioning would help or not but I don't know what else would I have tried just cross dressing but that didn't feel right. I am self conscious of my hight weight and masculinity of my body.

I can relate real well about puberty,my problem was I started developing like a female and then puberty was and has been paused for 38 yrs. I couldn't put on muscle mass to save my life but I was bone strong, I didn't look like I could pick up 400 lbs but I could. I stand 6' and right know weigh 235lbs and losing weight but not like I used to now that I'm 51 years old. Been talking to my wife about seeing what hormone I need for being in limbo this long. Do don't feel down about yourself find something good and focus on that,crossdressing is a good way of exploring your real self.

I'm thinking about going into a therapist  to see what they say but hiw much will it cost as money is really really tight right now but I need  to talk to some one.

I think a therapist is a great idea!  It has helped me a lot.  I understand about $$ because this whole journey can be expensive.  One option you might consider, depending on where you work, many employers have an Employee Assistance Program or EAP.  It is completely confidential and outside most insurance place.  The only thing the employer knows is the number of employees who have used it and the categories, mental health, financial assistance counseling, legal, etc.  That is as far as it goes and it is no cost to you.  The initial contact is by phone and they will guide you in the right direction.  If you are on an insurance plan, many will cover mental health but find a therapist who specializes in more than just GT.  Mine focuses on GT (probably 90%) but has other areas as well.  I then file with my insurance.  Best of luck!!
Paula